Chapter 28: Chapter 27: A Family Should Be Neat and Tidy
He went to the security door and looked through the peephole to see who was outside.
The community’s security captain, Li Yangming, was standing outside with a stern expression on his face.
He Xiaotian set the two iron hammers aside and opened the door a crack. "Captain Li, what brings you here so late?"
"Xiaotian, the resident in 201 downstairs said you guys were renovating with dynamite. He was in the middle of a... romantic moment with his wife when there was a huge BOOM from your floor. It scared him so badly he couldn’t... perform. It took him a good while to recover.
What on earth are you doing up here? You’re lucky nothing serious happened this time. What if you’d really scared his manly vigor right out of him? They’re newlyweds. Are you trying to make them get a flash divorce?"
He Xiaotian: "..."
He swore to the heavens that he didn’t do it on purpose.
"My apologies, Captain Li. Could you please offer my apologies for me later? A cabinet in my house fell over, that’s why it sounded like construction. I’m so sorry for the trouble." ’It was my mess, so I have to be the one to clean it up, even if it pains me.’
"Don’t worry about the trouble. It’s my job to be responsible for you all. Alright, I’ll stop by on my way downstairs."
"Goodbye, Captain Li."
Just as Li Yangming was about to turn, the corner of his eye caught a glimpse of the spike-covered iron hammers.
It was just a corner of one, not the whole thing.
But the vigilance he’d honed in the army made him stop in his tracks.
"Xiaotian, listen to me. Your parents raised you your whole life. No matter how upset you are, you can’t make a terrible mistake! Your family’s well-off, you’ve had a privileged life, so you’ve probably never faced real hardship.
When things don’t go your way, you might get radical ideas. This is your Uncle Li giving you a piece of advice: don’t do something you’ll regret. It’s not too late to back down, as long as you haven’t taken that final step."
As Li Yangming said this, his entire body tensed, ready to pounce.
He Xiaotian didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
’It’s all my fault for being lazy. Why didn’t I put the hammers somewhere further away?’
’But this guy, Uncle Li... he actually thought I was going to hammer my own parents.’
’Isn’t your imagination a little too wild?’
"Captain Li, you’ve misunderstood. Those are props. Could a normal person even use a hammer that big? Besides, if I wanted to kill someone, aren’t there better ways? Why would I have to make it so bloody? I’m a university student, not an idiot."
At this, He Xiaotian swung the door wide open to let Li Yangming get a clear look.
"Whoa!"
Seeing the hammers in their entirety, Li Yangming was stunned.
Hammers the size of a full-grown adult. Unless you were Superman, there was no way anyone could lift them.
"Sorry, my mistake. By the way, where are your parents?"
It seemed his suspicions hadn’t completely vanished.
"If you don’t believe me, Captain Li, you can call my parents. One’s at the paper mill, the other’s at my aunt’s house."
He Xiaotian’s calm demeanor helped to dispel some more of his doubts.
"Fine. You young people have so much money you don’t know what to do with it. These hammer props must have cost a pretty penny, huh?"
"Not much. Just a few tens of thousands."
The moment he said that, Li Yangming turned and walked away.
’This conversation is over.’
’Not much? A few tens of thousands? *Just*?’
’Do you have any idea how much I make in a whole year?’
’So what if you’re rich? Does being rich mean you can renovate with dynamite?’
Watching Li Yangming’s back disappear down the stairwell, He Xiaotian finally breathed a sigh of relief.
’Thank goodness he didn’t come in to inspect the hammers, or my cover would’ve been blown.’
’I can’t be this careless again. I need to learn my lesson.’
He then closed the door and spent a few hours busying himself inside and out. Once everything was finally taken care of, he returned to his room and fell into a deep sleep.
Early the next morning, he was woken up by his phone ringing.
"Hello?"
"Son, when can I come home? What on earth are you up to? If you have a girlfriend, we can just buy another house, you know?" He Xiaotian suddenly realized his mom was pretty slick with her words, too.
Yesterday, he’d shut down the conversation with Captain Li, and today, his own mom had nearly KO’d him.
’Why weren’t you guys ever this generous with me before?’
’You’ll only cough up the cash for a house if I have a girlfriend!’
"No, Mom, it’s... I can’t really explain it to you. Just remember, I’m doing all this for your and Dad’s own good. Do you think I’d ever hurt you two? As long as I don’t tell you to come back, just stay put at my cousin’s house."
That made sense. What kind of monster would harm their own parents?
"Then what’s this about renovating with dynamite last night, and the hammer props?"
"..."
’So Captain Li really did call to check on them himself!’
But He Xiaotian didn’t hold it against him. The man was just being diligent and responsible for the safety of the community’s residents. How could he complain?
’You should count your blessings to have a security guard like that!’
"The wardrobe fell over yesterday, that’s what made the noise downstairs. As for the hammer props, a fortune teller told me I’m fated to face a calamity this year and that I need a ferocious weapon to ward off the evil. These days, you even need to register your name to buy a kitchen knife.
Where am I supposed to get a ’ferocious weapon’? Antiques would work, but with our family’s finances, that’s a long shot. So I spent a few tens of thousands to have some props made just for show. I figured it might do *something*."
After that load of nonsense, there was a long silence on the other end of the line. After a good while, his mom’s voice drifted through, faint and eerie.
"As long as you’re happy."
"BEEP!!"
And with that, she hung up.
For lunch and dinner, he ordered takeout twice.
Of course, the portions were huge—the super-sized kind.
To be specific, picture the amount of twenty pork knuckles and fifty steaks from the hospital order.
He then noticed that the delivery guy was staring at him with a resentful look from start to finish.
It was as if some sordid affair had taken place where He Xiaotian had loved him and left him.
The stare made his skin crawl.
Then, while he was eating, He Xiaotian smacked himself on the head.
’Isn’t this the same Sherlock Holmes-type delivery guy who brought my food back then?’
’No wonder he looked so resentful.’
That night, He Xiaotian carried the hammers, which weighed over three hundred pounds, into the nanny’s room.
He then sat cross-legged below the windowsill, waiting for the kappas to arrive.
He had a feeling this matter wasn’t going to be over so easily.
Sure enough, at around ten o’clock that night, a sound came from outside the window.
"SLAP!"
A green hand slapped against the windowpane.
He Xiaotian didn’t even use the hammers. He shot his left arm out, shattering the glass, and grabbed the kappa firmly by the neck.
With a pull and a squeeze, he killed it outright.
[Ding! You have killed a kappa and gained 200 Experience Points.]
’Another two hundred Experience Points in the bank. Not bad, not bad at all.’
In the small hours of the morning, a blue-furred head poked through the hole in the glass.
"CRACK!"
[Ding! You have killed a kappa and gained 200 Experience Points.]
He Xiaotian’s arm moved like a Cyan Dragon emerging from the water, completing the entire process of grabbing and snapping its neck in an instant.
On the floor, the two ghastly green kappa corpses, covered in Scale Armor and slime, lay side-by-side with their heads lolling to the side.
Above them sat He Xiaotian, cross-legged and bored out of his mind.
The three of them, illuminated by the moonlight, created an absolutely terrifying scene.
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