Ta-dak— Ta-dak—
This is the sound of my left hand tapping on the desk of Yeom Geumja.
Seocheonseul and I, the moment we escaped the King Castle Club, came face-to-face with the Foreigner Management Agency.
Didn’t Shin Woojin shout, “Kim Sinhwa! You goblin brat!” back then? Somehow, Shin Woojin seemed convinced that Seocheonseul was me.
But regardless of his misunderstanding, it still took us considerable time to lose him.
“Bahaha—darkness under the lamp, indeed.”
Seocheonseul peered out the window through the office blinds of Yeom Geumja and laughed as he said that.
We hid in Yeom Geumja’s office, not far from the King Castle Club.
“There’s information we need to verify here, too—kill two birds with one stone.”
He said that, but I didn’t move; I stayed seated in Yeom Geumja’s chair.
Ta-dak— Ta-dak—
My left hand kept tapping the desk. Listening to that repeated sound made me suddenly irritated. Stop tapping!
Outside, employees of the Foreigner Management Agency were still coming and going.
Shin Woojin has detection skills as sharp as the eyes protruding from his head. We had to spend more time creating a barrier to block his detection.
Buduck—buduck—
The tapping from my left hand faded, but instead, some strange noise began to come from somewhere.
Time is of the essence—must I move while avoiding those things, too?
“Ugh, so annoying. I’m exhausted to death.”
“Mr. Kim, are you going to rest a bit?”
“No!”
Oops, I unintentionally spoke too loudly.
But resting won’t solve anything.
Honestly, I want to declare the contract void and pay the penalty.
Not just the penalty—I’d return the Sign of True Justice, and even hand back the Nightveil Robe, but—
‘It doesn’t matter anymore.’
I want to end it now.
Those red things I saw earlier—
Blood and gore, the elephant-headed Judicator of the Gourmet Expeditionary, and—buduck—grrrk—
“Captain Chungeum, did you see that?”
“That what?”
“The tentacle that sprang through the portal and blew you away.”
“Oh, that—? Bahahaha! Nothing special.”
“Nothing special?”
I recalled the force that tentacle had displayed and continued.
“That was part of the Abyssal entity, [Predator in the Mountains].”
“It did hurt quite a bit. I nearly flew out of the building.”
Flying out wasn’t the problem—I nearly ceased to exist right there.
“Thanks to that, I even lost my treasured hat. Hmmm. I’ll make sure to charge properly for that hat.”
......
Saying that, I too had nothing to add.
Watching Seocheonseul’s nonchalant expression made me feel foolish for worrying.
Grrrk— boogrk—
“But Mr. Kim, why have you been scratching your arm since earlier?”
“Huh?”
My left hand kept scratching my right wrist and forearm.
The skin was torn, the dermis exposed.
Since when had I been scratching like this?
No, not just my wrist and forearm.
My neck, shoulder, chest, ribs, thigh.
I scratched every place my left hand could reach.
And from every wounded spot—bright red—so to speak—bleeding—
“Hah—ugh—”
My breathing grew ragged.
Dizzy. My right hand slowly rose toward my forehead.
What—?
Oh, was my right hand touching my forehead?
Why?
My head hurts.
Ah, does my head hurt?
I want to touch my head.
Don’t do that, stay still, right hand. I’m afraid you’ll tear off my mask.
It itches. I want to scratch. I want to rip open my skin and pull it off.
Don’t scratch. Your teeth annoy me. I want to pull out all my teeth. Wait, don’t gather mana. Teeth! Don’t pull out my teeth!
Stop it! Mana is concentrating too much in my eyes! It feels like my eyeballs will burst. Stop, stop, stop!
This isn’t mere delusion. I could really die! Don’t! We are advancing toward death.
“Hah—hah—hic—sss—heh—”
Breath—my breath is weird? My throat is too narrow! I can’t breathe!
“What’s wrong, Mr. Kim?” I hear that voice.
Was I answering, “Don’t come near me, you goblin brat”?
No—I couldn’t even answer; I was just breathing.
“Hic—shh—hugh—kuck!”
“Oh, Mr. Kim, that’s serious.” Seocheonseul approached. Oh, don’t come. Go away! You can’t help me!
Don’t grab my left hand! You crazy goblin brat! Let go! Let me go!
Seocheonseul tried to pull off my clothes.
“Look! Look at this monstrous goblin brat! He was just waiting for a moment to betray us.”
“I see! Betrayal!”
I raised mana and struck Seocheonseul’s face.
A loud crack echoed, but I also heard, “Mr. Kim, stay still!”
“You Dueoksini-like fool! Finally showing your desire—I see, you want to steal the Nightveil Robe at my most vulnerable moment! You want to kill me!”
“Gghh—hah! Hugh.”
I couldn’t breathe properly. I couldn’t stop Seocheonseul.
And I couldn’t take my eyes off the wound on my right wrist. I’d scratched so much the skin peeled away and the dermis was exposed.
Blood flowed from my wrist.
I thought maybe I was wrong, but I was right after all. Inside me was filled with this disgusting thing. Look. I produced it. Not by another’s hand, but by my own will I harmed myself. I pulled the blood from within me. Now I’ll pull out all this vile stuff inside my body.
A drop of blood fell from my right wrist—
Two drops—
O
—
Only then could I understand what those blurry shadows were saying.
“Is this a dream?”
One of the shadows answered my question.
“Yes. A dream.”
Calm, composed tone. Its form was vague, as if shot with a blurry camera, but somehow the voice felt familiar.
“Wait, I was definitely having some madness attack until a moment ago?”
“Ah, damn it. Look! We’ve gone back again, haven’t we?”
A rough tone. Another shadow beside the calm one spoke.
“Stay still. This time you probably really snapped out of it.”
“Snap out of it? No, that’s wrong. This method won’t work. Let’s just seize control °• N 𝑜 v 𝑒 l i g h t •° directly!”
“Fine. Then let this be the last time.”
“Yeah. Last. Truly last.”
The shadows spoke to each other.
‘What kind of messed-up situation is this?’
Those shadows spoke in exactly the same voice, differing only in tone.
“Hey, Kim Sinhwa. You just thought, ‘What a messed-up situation,’ right?”
“And you noticed our voices are the same.”
And I realized that the ‘we’ that shadow referred to wasn’t just those two.
“You and I share the same voice.”
The ‘we’ included me.
They spoke in the exact same voice as mine.
“Well, of course! You idiot!”
“Just stay still, you idiot.”
“Stop it! You idiots! I understood everything you said—”
First, I need to sort out this confusing situation.
So I hastily spoke.
“-This is a dream, and I must have repeated the same words until I realized it was a dream?”
I’d experienced something similar at Chungeum Hall.
“Right. Now do you know who we are?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me!”
“You are all me. So you are the Kims Sinhwa.”
“Right. We wasted so much time making you realize that, so let’s summarize briefly.”
The calm-toned shadow said.
“Seocheonseul used the power of the Nightveil Robe to force us to sleep.”
“Don’t misunderstand! Captain Chungeum was helping us!”
“I know. You had a madness break, right? But talking in the same voice is really confusing.”
“Exactly. But confusion is better. If we become more distinct, it might become truly irreversible.”
These beings were me.
The calm shadow was probably me who entered the commanding golem corps at Insu Village.
“And the impatient shadow is me who entered Red back then.”
“Anyway, it seems there’s a briefing. What’s the point?”
I asked, and Kim Sinhwa—Command Golem answered.
“First, the fact that you think you’re suppressing hemophobia with willpower is an illusion.”
“An illusion?”
“Yes, an illusion! You can’t suppress it that way. You were just shifting the madness and stress onto another part of yourself.”
Suddenly cutting in, Kim Sinhwa—Red. That one was really angry.
“Another part?”
“It’s odd to call it another, but the structure is the same. You simply split your personality and created someone to take the stress for you.”
“That is—”
A term came to mind.
The commanding golem nodded at my realization.
“Right. Dissociative Identity Disorder. Commonly called multiple personality.”
“Anyway, the scapegoat part reached its limit. It sometimes intruded with thoughts completely different from yours, speaking formally. That was that part.”
“Don’t think it was some normal part.”
“The one who tortured the Dueoksinis earlier was also that part.”
“You couldn’t control your actions and thoughts, right? Without Captain Chungeum, you’d have used even more horrific magic.”
I recalled my abnormal words and actions then.
Though the target wasn’t human, I indiscriminately cast spells to inflict pain on an incapacitated opponent.
Damn.
Back then, I truly couldn’t control myself.
“Was it induced by the system? Or a symptom manifesting independently of the system?”
This symptom—splitting into personalities—began since Insu Village. At that time, there was clearly no phobia present.
Is this caused by the system? Or am I going mad?
“We don’t know either.”
“You don’t know?”
Damn, after talking like you know everything, you don’t?
“All we can know is what you know.”
“And that too is just your unconscious deduction.”
“We just organized it for you.”
“Your psychiatric information was too abstract and vague to begin with.”
“Even terms like Dissociative Identity Disorder might not be accurate information.”
“What would you know, a guy always playing games? You probably saw it on the internet by chance. Don’t go repeating our words to others—you might embarrass yourself.”
The two Kim Sinhwas alternated scolding me rhythmically. Was I such a nagging person?
“Stop alternating—how am I supposed to tell who’s speaking!”
“I’ll say it again—don’t try to force a distinction. We are all Kim Sinhwa. Unlike others, we believe we must ultimately merge into one.”
Wait—the commanding golem’s words...?
Seeing my surprised expression, Kim Sinhwa—Red said,
“That’s right. There are more than just us. And not everyone agrees with our opinion.”
“Damn. How many are there?”
“That doesn’t matter. The point is, just as Aquaphobia triggered amnesia, hemophobia likely triggered Dissociative Identity Disorder.”
“Wasn’t that the case back then? You got amnesia and didn’t notice the madness manifest?”
“This time, you thought you were enduring hemophobia because another part was taking the madness for you?”
“Yes.”
“Right.”
“Good—then—”
I asked the two Kim Sinhwas,
“-What’s the solution?”
“Haa, it’s gamble, but not impossible.”
That was Kim Sinhwa—Command Golem’s answer.
“First, it’s clear that someone is absorbing the madness instead of your body. We should use that.”
Kim Sinhwa—Red continued confidently.
“We’ll try to suppress ‘that part’ further. Solve it as soon as possible.”
“Don’t let it go past tonight.”
“That’s the limit.”
“All right.”
“And finally—”
—
I awakened from the dream.
“Damn, ‘and finally’ what?”
Like any dream, it began suddenly and ended just as suddenly.
I was still in Yeom Geumja’s office. I must have fallen asleep sitting in the chair.
Seocheonseul, who had been sitting on the sofa, looked at me and said,
“Mr. Kim, are you awake?”
“How long did I sleep?”
“About six hours? No, uh—five minutes?”
That’s always the answer you get when you ask a goblin for time.
“I see.”
Looking out the window, the sky was filled with fiery red sunset as the sun dipped below the horizon.
So I’d slept for about an hour?
There’s not much time.
‘They said not to let it go past tonight, right?’
From now on, I must move as quickly as possible.
