Despite the abruptness of my visit, the Bishop of Pisa did not outright refuse me.
“Baron Rothschild, is it not? What brings the young hero to such a distant place?”
In any era or country, requesting an unexpected meeting is considered a significant breach of etiquette. While I wasn’t outright turned away, the polite greeting I received could very well have been an indirect way of saying, “Hurry up and leave.”
‘Even among feuding nobles, there’s at least an exchange of pleasantries.’
Even though this was our first encounter, directly asking for the purpose of my visit was still remarkably rude. It’s akin to having a guest show up at your door and refusing to offer them even a spoonful of rice while you eat your meal in front of them.
Of course, I was in the wrong for the abruptness, so I couldn’t argue.
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However, as the Deus scriptures teach, small offenses like this can be quickly resolved with the right gift.
Even the wisest king declared that if his subjects wanted his favor, they should first present gifts. It’s an eternal truth, after all.
“I’ve come to ask a favor, Bishop.”
I swiftly placed a leather pouch filled with dozens of gold coins into his hand.
As expected of a high-ranking clergyman accustomed to handling money, he recognized the weight of gold instantly. A smile spread across his face.
The wisest king’s words about how gifts (bribes) multiply friends were once again proven correct.
Though, perhaps he was too wise for his own good—his insatiable desire for wealth and women supposedly drove him into disillusionment, turning him into a sage.
‘A man who lived his entire life in a state of enlightenment is bound to be brilliant.’
“Though your visit is sudden, how could I, as a shepherd of souls, ignore a lamb lost in the trials of this world? Please, speak freely.”
This self-proclaimed virtuous shepherd likely had no official wife, but I’d bet my right hand that he had at least ten mistresses or frequented the services of local prostitutes.
‘After all, outside of slums, the area around cathedrals often has the highest concentration of brothels.’
The reason is simple—priests who can’t curb their carnal desires often become their most loyal customers.
And, of course, it’s a poorly kept secret that the expenses for these visits are all covered by the faithful’s donations.
“A plague is on the verge of breaking out.”
The Bishop tilted his head quizzically at my statement.
“Plagues are calamities that strike without warning, killing countless people. They’re unpredictable disasters, much like earthquakes, floods, or typhoons, are they not?”
Indeed, across the medieval, Renaissance, and early modern periods, plagues were regarded as unpredictable natural disasters.
The reasoning was simple.
At the time, Western medicine was based on the laughably primitive theory of the four humors, which involved bloodletting and mercury consumption as primary treatments.
Even in Eastern medicine, which was a hundred times more advanced, surgery wasn’t a concept, and most remedies consisted of boiling herbs to drink.
Hygiene, the actual root cause of many plagues, wasn’t even a consideration.
So, even as waterborne diseases swept through major cities every few years, killing thousands, people merely accepted it as part of life.
“Ordinary plagues, of course, are unpredictable. But the outbreak we’re facing now is clearly the result of human negligence.”
If I were to tell Duke Visconti or the Emperor that the Earth is round, they’d probably ask why I was stating something so obvious.
But if I added that it orbits the Sun, they’d immediately put me under house arrest, thinking, “Our dear Baron has finally lost his mind after working too hard.”
Even if I provided irrefutable evidence, their reaction wouldn’t change.
Not because they’re unintelligent, but because the world and society aren’t ready to accept heliocentrism yet.
‘It’s the same reason I studied the four humors when creating nouvelle cuisine.’
To challenge their worldview, I must start by presenting my ideas within the framework of their existing beliefs and let them discover the inconsistencies themselves.
“The scripture states that if stagnant water is contaminated by the carcass of an animal or waste, it becomes impure for several days, and those who drink it before it is purified shall be cursed.”
“That’s from Leviticus, isn’t it? Indeed, it does say that.”
No matter how corrupt the Church of Deus or the Albanian continent may be, a theology degree from a seminary carries the same weight as passing a bar exam or civil service exam.
A man who has risen to the rank of bishop would not have skimped on his theological studies.
Trusting in that, I brought up scripture, though I hadn’t expected him to remember such an obscure passage.
This would make things much easier.
“I’ve pondered this deeply, and it seems to me that the ‘curse’ mentioned here refers to plagues.”
“Hmm.”
Before the age of science, scripture and philosophy formed the academic foundation for all theories.
Copernicus and Giordano Bruno, who both proposed heliocentrism around the same time, derived their insights from scriptural and philosophical reasoning.
Many scientific theories were similarly based on interpretations of scripture.
The Albanian continent operates on the same principle.
“Even though Deus declared all unclean animals permissible to eat, consider the wretched Jews, who still refuse to eat pork. They obsessively wash their bodies because of their prophets’ admonitions about cleanliness. If a sparrow falls into their water supply, they’ll remove it and abstain from drinking the water for days.”
“Though I despise those filthy, law-obsessed Jews, you’re not wrong.”
In Deus-worshipping regions, Jews are viewed as the equivalent of serial killers or rapists.
There are even people who burn their clothes or scald their skin if they accidentally come into contact with a Jew.
From my perspective, such behavior is absurd, but in our empire, it’s seen as entirely rational.
‘No wonder there was little opposition when Nazi Germany decided to exterminate Jews.’
Their poor reputation made it easy for society to rationalize their mass murder.
It was only after the fact, when the atrocities became public, that opinions shifted.
“They’re destined for hell, but their emphasis on hygiene is, in a way, a faithful adherence to scripture. That’s why their communities rarely suffer from plagues.”
Perhaps it was the combination of scriptural reasoning and observable facts that convinced the Bishop.
He nodded thoughtfully.
“Though discussing those Jewish vermin leaves a bad taste in my mouth, you’re right. When I oversaw a region with a Jewish population, plagues were strangely ineffective in their areas.”
“And now merchants have begun replicating the poultry farms I introduced, though they’ve done so poorly. I can’t stop them from imitating my ideas, but...”
In a world without patents, there’s no way to prevent people from copying innovations.
Expecting ethical restraint is as naive as expecting politicians to act with integrity.
“They’re dumping chicken waste, urine, and other filth into rivers, contaminating the water and spreading Deus’s curse. The regions rumored to have outbreaks are all areas with poorly constructed poultry farms.”
By grounding my argument in scripture and logical deduction, the Bishop had no choice but to believe me.
Even if he doesn’t fully trust me now, he’ll remember my words once the plague begins.
“Your argument is compelling, but with such evidence, wouldn’t it have been better to approach Pisa’s mayor first?”
Sure, going to the mayor first might seem logical.
But imagine me barging in, saying, “Your city will soon suffer a plague—scripturally speaking, it’s inevitable!”
Who would take me seriously?
‘Borrowing the authority of the clergy is much more effective.’
Besides, even though I’m a baron and hold significant influence, meddling in scriptural interpretation is risky.
If I overstep, I could end up like Giordano Bruno, who was burned at the stake for his heliocentric views.
‘Why emulate Martin Luther’s fiery martyrdom for truth when I can live comfortably with my wives?’
“As someone without formal theological training, I might inadvertently mislead others.”
The Bishop smiled at my humility.
“Your reasoning isn’t flawed. Still, I should review this matter further.”
Even in the face of impending plague, the Church prioritizes gold over souls.
“You’re supposed to be the light of the world, yet you’re more concerned about money than the safety of the faithful?”
“May I offer confession here and now for my arrogance in interpreting scripture?”
“Hmm. I’ll assign you a penance of 500 gold coins.”
“Thank you for absolving me of my sins.”
One day, I’ll mass-produce indulgences just to undermine them.
Frankly, the Church could use a little humbling.
Within a week of my arrival in Pisa, chaos broke loose.
“It’s a plague! Diarrheal disease has broken out!”
Upon hearing the news, I stormed into the town hall with the Bishop in tow.
Every second counted.