Chapter 137: I Don’t Want to be Alone
I thought we were now closer. Friends. I thought wrong.
Kai turned to leave.
Ever since that night in the Fire Swamp when the seniors attacked him, Kai thought that their relationship had progressed even further. From a tense relationship that existed only to repay a debt to something closer to friends.
After all, Matilda was comfortable enough to tell him the truth.
That she wanted to leave, but decided to stay.
She did it for herself, not for Kai, but it was a start to the development of their relationship.
A good one, too.
And because of that—Kai allowed himself to open up a little to Matilda. Allowing himself to have expectations for her as he did for the others. But it was wrong for him to do that, as Matilda doesn’t seem to be on the same page as him.
Covering the fact that she was corrupted meant she doesn’t really care about him.
If she got fully corrupted and died, then Kai would be screwed.
Finding another member would be almost impossible now, and the rate of mining would drop by a sizeable amount. Chances are, if she died, Kai and the others would not be able to create— the Ambrosia Pact.
Choosing to stay silent is selfish of her, and Kai was disappointed.
Seems like they still weren’t friends.
And it stings in his chest.
Since she didn’t care about me, then I’m already a stranger.
Kai reached for the doorknob; the brass is cold, colder than he remembered.
The door is half an inch open when something clutched his shirt.
A hand fisted the fabric of his shirt above the hip. Not a strong grab, but a desperate, reflexive clutch thrown at the very last second. Kai doesn’t need to turn, as there’s only one other person inside this room with him.
At that precise moment, the sky opens.
A deluge hammers the window facing outside; it was a sudden, roaring sheet of rain that fills the room with a thousand tiny heartbeats. The droplets strike the glass like thrown pebbles—blurring the world outside.
The room darkens subtly, swallowed by the storm’s darkness.
Even though the Cloud Colony Alpha was in the sky, rain can still happen here.
It was located on the upper end of the troposphere, so the rain up here, be it water droplets or ice crystals, is fuller. Outside, the Cloud Colony Alpha expanded as the downpour continued, but that doesn’t matter for Kai and Matilda.
Neither moved—the door is still cracked open, inviting the corridor’s cold.
Kai’s hand remained on the doorknob, and Matilda’s grip hasn’t loosened.
Through the fabric, he could feel the faint tremor in her knuckles, but he didn’t look back. If he looked back, he was certain that his anger would crack and crumble into pieces, and he’s not ready to let it go.
He still remembered the pain that flickered across Matilda’s face back then.
Back when he told her he had no expectations of her.
Regardless of what she did—he wouldn’t be affected. It was a wall that he built to make sure the disappointment was kept at bay. But lately, acknowledging her efforts, he’d been trying to open up a little.
Placed small expectations on her.
Lowering the bar to something fragile and tentative—one being willing to be open.
If she was in trouble and it would involve everyone around her, she would at least share it.
And yet Matilda still couldn’t hold up to that expectation.
Kai’s grip on the doorknob tightened, intending to leave, but so did Matilda’s grip.
"I told you... I’m the backbone of my family. I need to stay strong no matter what. No matter how hard or how desperate things are, I can’t be seen weak," Matilda whispered with gloom thick in her voice, looking down at the floor with a solemn expression. "I stayed strong for so long that it became my habit. Became who I am. I’m incapable... of asking for help.
"I kept telling myself that I can do it on my own, and now I know doing so only burdened the people around me," Matilda bit her lower lip—only now realizing that her façade of strength isn’t working as she intended.
Had that been the case, her own father wouldn’t be asking Kai to check up on her.
As a matter of fact, that alone showed her façade of strength only did the opposite.
Only made her family even more worried about her.
"Now, I wanted to change that." Matilda stepped forward—and gently pressed her forehead against Kai’s back, leaning onto him. "I wanted to start being truthful to myself and the people around me. I no longer want to lie."
A choking pause stretched for a moment as she tried to force out the words.
Forced out what she wanted to say right now.
"Can you..." Her voice trailed, and she clutched Kai’s shirt harder. "Can you accompany me for tonight? I-I don’t want to be alone."
Kai didn’t want to turn around precisely because he knew that his anger would melt. It was the same whenever he was angry with Bella, so he knew not to turn around. At a moment like this, best for him to leave and do whatever he wanted to do tomorrow.
Right now, the emotions are high, and it’s not going to be good for either of them.
But it was already too late.
Matilda is probably the strongest woman he knew other than his sister, and hearing her voice this weak and frail already melted whatever anger was left inside of him. He filled his chest—with as much air as he could and let it out through his nose.
Eventually, he pushed the door closed and turned around.
He didn’t meet her gaze.
Just gestured for her to go back on the bed as her body was shaking, unable to hold her own weight. "Get back on the bed and digest the vial," Kai said, steering her back to the bed by her shoulders. "Digest it before it’s too late."
Matilda didn’t fight back.
She grabbed the vial and lay back down on the bed.
Following Kai’s instruction on using the Crystallized Teardrop of Argus, she melted it into its liquid form—and then drank it all in one go. She immediately felt a warm sensation coursing through her body, and then began to guide it to her head.
Digesting only one Crystallized Teardrop of Argus would only strengthen her mind.
But the residual energy should be able to fight the corruption back.
If things aren’t settling down, then Kai would have no choice but to bring her to the infirmary.
People would see him carrying Matilda if he does that, and it’s a bad thing.
It was precisely the reason why he doesn’t bring her there immediately. But at that point, there will be no other choice to make. Fortunately for him, he saw the black veins were visibly and rapidly retracting, pulling back from Matilda’s breast down to their core point.
A good sign, and it was relieving.
He decided to sit down on the floor and close his eyes.
Since it’ll take time for Matilda to finish digestion, he decided to train his Halo.
After battling the Star Beast, he knew that it could be sharper, faster—better. So, he trained it relentlessly. Mana surged as he activated it, then faded as he let it go. Again. And again. Rinse and repeat. His goal was to summon it at full power in an instant.
Summoning it on nothing more than a whim. That mastery still lay far beyond his reach.
He also used the Deep Slumber.
Surprisingly enough, he got into the House of Night again.
Kai deliberated on continuing on the main path of the Furies, thinking that he might be ready, or at least mentally ready, to continue on the torture. A path that was reserved—for those who had committed mass murder.
But he shook his head.
Recalling how painful it was to go through the first level dissuaded him from even trying.
Frankly, he doesn’t even know where the balls to even think of continuing came from.
He mocked that creature inside that main path, and it would certainly make it extra hurt the next time he tried. Instead of doing that, Kai decided to search for Mallory. Returning to that hole of light should be easy.
As long as he pictured it in his mind, he could find a way to go there.
Kai was wrong.
No matter how hard he pictured that place, he couldn’t find a way back to it.
Seems like the first time happened through pure luck.
Since there’s nothing else to do, Kai decided to wander—and then went to visit both Noxian and Perion, checking on them and their lonely domains. He wanted to return with a couple of seeds, but he had none at hand, so Noxian must wait a bit longer.
And then he turned his steps toward Kaelmorath’s domain.
But instead of arriving, a notice flickered into existence before him, blocking his path.
[Do you want to spend 100 usable exp to enter Nightborn Kaelmorath’s domain?]
"Huh...? I need to pay to enter his domain?" Must be because I’m not close enough to him."
Kai remembered that he also needed to pay in order to meet with Noxian, but now that they are closer, there’s no longer any need for that. "But one hundred usable exp? Are we really on that bad term?"
Just then, Kai felt a nudge.
He quickly left the House of Night and opened his eyes in the real world.
Once he adjusted to the surroundings again, he saw that the downpour was only getting far worse than it was earlier. Due to the angle Matilda’s room was at, the droplets slammed into the window hard.
It was dully loud inside the room, but not so much to the point that it was irritating.
"Kai..." Matilda called from behind, tugging his shoulder.
"Hmm?" Kai looked over to her and saw her complexion was better now. "You finished? Did it work?"
"Yes, I’m finished. And yes, it worked wonderfully. I think my body can expel the corruption on its own now. I’m really thankful for the Crystallized Teardrop of Argus. I really don’t know why you saved it."
"I do not need three, so I saved the last one. Go get some sleep. Tomorrow, we need to make up the lost time."
Kai turned away, about to sleep again, but Matilda had more to say.
"Are you going to sleep there?"
"Yeah, it’s fine. I’ve slept in worse places before."
Besides, he can sleep on command, so sleeping on the floor is quite literally nothing.
Other than feeling slightly sore tomorrow, it’s really nothing.
"Don’t sleep on the floor. Come up here."
"What...?"
