S#156: The Arrest.
The scene, which marked the conclusion of Veterans, was one of the most challenging for Ha-eun to film.
‘Though I knew it was coming....’
She was well aware of Veterans’ overarching theme of good triumphing over evil.
She had also known from the beginning what kind of end awaited Ye-seo.
However, it was the backstory elements designed to make Ye-seo more villainous—particularly her troubled past—that gave Ha-eun much to think about.
‘...It’s still hard, though.’
Ha-eun spent an extensive amount of time rehearsing and refining Ye-seo’s final emotional arc.
After all, Ye-seo’s past served as one of the primary motivators for her descent into crime.
From a young age, Ye-seo was identified as a psychopath, eliciting concern and fear from her family.
She struggled to empathize with others’ emotions and felt her own emotions only faintly.
This trait—a hallmark of psychopathy—meant that while Ye-seo could intellectually understand what emotions were, she couldn’t truly feel them.
Her way of expressing emotions was also markedly different from that of an average person.
At the same time, her intense need for control—a common trait of psychopaths—made her dislike being perceived as “abnormal.”
For that reason, Ye-seo was able to fool everyone outside her inner circle.
Through carefully constructed expressions, tones, and gestures, she convinced others she was a “normal” person.
‘In the end, it was all an act.’
Despite feeling emotions only faintly, Ye-seo faced immense stress from having to pretend to be ordinary.
Her unique upbringing as a member of a wealthy family meant she couldn’t stop acting, even if she wanted to.
By the time Ye-seo reached adulthood, her inner self had been completely destroyed.
Years of pretending had left her grappling with an identity crisis.
However, there was one emotion Ye-seo could distinctly feel without needing to act or try to understand.
One overwhelming sensation stood out among the void of her emotional world.
This emotion was rooted in an experience inflicted by none other than her own mother.
The first time Ye-seo faced the terror of death as a child, it became both her trauma and—
"But then, she laughed. Like she found it funny that I was dying. She cried while laughing, begging me to just die already."
—the only emotion she could truly comprehend.
Years passed, yet no sensation came close to the intensity of being strangled by her mother.
This backstory was a classic “tragic villain” trope, but for Ha-eun, it felt uncomfortably personal.
‘...Why does it still feel so vivid?’
Like Ye-seo, Ha-eun had spent her entire life suppressing her emotions to appear normal.
Even the fear that both women felt resonated deeply, as did the constant need to act like everything was fine in front of others.
Above all, Ha-eun had been unable to understand her own emotions in her past life until her rebirth.
The act of suppressing her feelings out of necessity was eerily similar to Ye-seo’s plight, allowing Ha-eun to immerse herself in the character.
However, Ye-seo’s tragic backstory was meant not to garner sympathy but to highlight her villainy.
When Ye-seo hesitated after being counterattacked by Detective Jeon Jae-han, her next lines revealed her descent into pure rage.
"I just wanted to survive. If my mom were alive, she’d definitely kill me one day!"
Rather than a sorrowful expression, Ha-eun wore one of twisted elation.
It was as if she genuinely enjoyed the situation.
Ha-eun’s expression demonstrated Ye-seo’s reason for her killing spree.
Having lived her life in an emotionally bland world, Ye-seo desperately sought to recreate the intensity of the emotions she felt when she killed her mother.
"I begged her to die. I just kept stabbing, and stabbing, until she finally died."
As Ye-seo recounted her past, Ha-eun’s hands trembled violently.
Her slightly unfocused gaze conveyed a mix of ecstasy and madness as if reliving the scene in her mind.
This shift in Ha-eun’s eyes wasn’t in the script.
However, it fit seamlessly into Ye-seo’s monologue and added depth to her character.
"No matter who I kill, I can’t feel it. That electrifying, insane feeling—I can’t get it back."
"...How many people have you killed?"
"You’re smart, Detective. Take a guess."
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Ye-seo’s murderous spree, driven purely by a need to satisfy her impulses, came to life on camera.
The sense of liberation and exhilaration Ye-seo felt was expressed through Ha-eun’s radiant yet unnervingly cheerful smile.
Moments later, Ye-seo grabbed a sharp knife.
Despite her labored breathing from the prolonged fight with Detective Jeon, she seemed almost delighted by the struggle.
"Ah... ah.... Detective, just die already! Please!!"
Even when her arm was broken or shards of glass pierced her hand due to Jeon’s counterattacks, Ye-seo pressed on.
She was consumed by the need to relive that one overwhelming sensation.
As the intensity of the scene peaked—
"Chan-seong!"
Kang Chan-seong, bloodied and battered, intervened just in time to put an end to the fight between Ye-seo and Detective Jeon.
Ye-seo, struck down by a wooden club, twitched as she collapsed to the ground.
However, just seconds later, she staggered to her feet.
Even as she reached the limit of her endurance, Ye-seo forced herself forward.
Detective Jeon finally drew his taser.
Unable to reach either of them, Ye-seo collapsed, completely drained.
"Ha, haha... how ridiculous... really...."
She laughed bitterly as the cold sensation of handcuffs tightened around her wrists.
It wasn’t an act but an unfiltered expression of her feelings.
Even as she lay on the ground, her face obscured, her emotions were evident.
A few tears fell from her eyes, mixing with her laughter as a swirl of conflicting feelings washed over her.
***
"Good work today, Ha-eun."
"Oh, thank you. You too, senior."
At long last, the day’s filming was over.
As Seo Jin-tae handed Ha-eun a cup of coffee, he asked if she was doing okay after pouring all of Ye-seo’s pent-up emotions into a single explosive scene.
"Hmm, I’m not hurt or anything."
"I wasn’t just asking about your body. More than anything, you look exhausted, Ha-eun."
"W-well, eating something sweet usually helps me feel better. You really don’t need to worry. I’m fine, really."
A brief silence followed.
Feeling slightly awkward under Seo Jin-tae’s gaze, Ha-eun waited for him to speak again.
It didn’t take long before he said something that struck a chord.
"Overworking yourself often does more harm than good. Especially when, like you, your acting is drawn from your imagination."
It felt as though he could see right through her.
Eventually, Ha-eun, noting how Seo Jin-tae looked just as worn out in his makeup, cautiously responded.
"What do you think I was imagining?"
"I can’t say for sure. But it didn’t seem like a happy memory."
"...No, it wasn’t a happy memory."
Still, I have to move on.
Turning her head away briefly, Ha-eun gave a bitter smile.
Seo Jin-tae followed up with a small piece of advice.
"Usually, when I say things like this, people call me old-fashioned... but I hope you don’t try to handle everything by yourself, Ha-eun. What do you think?"
"Uh...."
Of course, Ha-eun understood that Seo Jin-tae’s words came from a place of concern.
But the memories from her previous life weren’t things others could comprehend.
Thus, she offered a vague response, implying she understood, to deflect the topic.
After all, to others, Ha-eun’s memories would seem no different from wild imaginings.
However, she couldn’t part ways with Seo Jin-tae just yet.
The reason was:
"They’re talking about promoting Veterans by having me appear on a job-experience variety show. Do you think you’d be interested in something like that?"
Specifically, Seo Jin-tae brought up a certain variety show he was scheduled to appear on as part of the movie’s promotion.
"Do you happen to know what the job is?"
"Hmm, I think it was... zookeeper."
"...Zookeeper?"
Images of adorable zoo animals began to fill Ha-eun’s mind.
She especially recalled the famous mascot of a zoo, one that would eventually leave Korea in a few years, which had become a beloved figure.
‘There were even people crying, begging it not to leave, right?’
Lost momentarily in memories about the zoo, Ha-eun finally made up her mind.
"Senior, I’d like to try it too—being a zookeeper."
In the end, Ha-eun expressed her interest in appearing on the same variety show as Seo Jin-tae.
She wanted to meet the zoo’s beloved celebrity animals in person.