Help! I Do Not Want to Guide a Disaster

Chapter 141: Deal With It

"Nothing," Wenzhi said, fixing Xinyuan with a thoroughly offended look.

But the deflection didn’t work. It only made Xinyuan hover closer, his dark eyes scanning Wenzhi’s face with intense focus.

"We could just leave," he suggested softly, his breath brushing Wenzhi’s cheek. "Let everyone else do their own thing."

Wenzhi paused, looking back at him more carefully. "Yes, we could. But having them around is helpful. With them in the picture, we can easily avoid you walking into a trap. It’s just..."

Wenzhi stopped himself. If he was being completely honest with himself, he didn’t even know what was bothering him at this point. And though his face and voice remained perfectly guarded, a quiet, hidden part of him found it incredibly nice that Xinyuan was paying such deep, undivided attention to him.

"The whole drama with kidnapping Ru Yi and Duan Ze under the excuse of knowing about the explosion and Jiang Zhaohe’s plans... it just seems stupid," Wenzhi continued, his brow furrowing as he fell into deep thought. "Especially since you said the decoy claimed Fu Muhan and Hanmei were the ones taken just so we’d blame the Old Blood. It’s all so unnecessary and messy. I mean, the only real reason you haven’t leveled the Capital yet is because of my extracted guiding energy. They have that leverage to disarm you."

Xinyuan watched the calculation running through Wenzhi’s eyes. Slowly, he relaxed his warm weight back down, pressing his body flush against Wenzhi’s. A similar thoughtful expression crossed his handsome features.

"Like I said, everyone is protecting each other and themselves," he murmured casually. "And I don’t care what they do, or blame them for it, unless their actions affect you or me. That’s my line."

Silence descended over the dim bedroom for a long moment, the heavy rhythm of their breathing matching. Then, Xinyuan spoke again, his voice dropping into a quiet, unexpected vulnerability. "Wu Youran told me that I destroyed her city. She said I killed her parents, and that was why she wanted to personally hurt me in return."

Wenzhi shifted, looking at Xinyuan in genuine surprise. "So that’s why she personally wanted to kill me."

"It must have been during one of my deployments, back before they forced me into sleep," Xinyuan said, his eyes going a bit distant, looking wistful before his face creased with a faint shadow of guilt. "I destroyed entire cities. I killed so many innocents... But I never did it consciously, Wenzhi. It’s always been like my strength just slips completely out of my control and I can’t stop it. It’s excruciatingly painful, yet relieving when the pressure builds up too much... but when I killed her, I didn’t feel a single thing."

Wenzhi’s gaze softened. He reached up, his fingers gently threading through Xinyuan’s dark hair, caressing it with comfort. A small smile touched his lips. "I’m just glad she’s gone. I don’t give a single shit about her or her reasons."

Xinyuan immediately lifted his head, his warm eyes locking onto Wenzhi’s with a mixture of sudden wonder and amusement. "I think if you had awakened as an Esper instead of a Guide, Freckles, you would have been incredibly villainous."

Wenzhi scoffed, rolling his eyes. "I am not villainous. She shot me and bragged about it over and over again. She got what she deserved."

Xinyuan let out a soft sigh, the tension fully draining from his shoulders. He pushed himself slightly upright before collapsing back down, burying his face deep into the crook of Wenzhi’s neck, inhaling his scent. "Let’s not talk about anyone else but us tonight, Freckles."

Wenzhi blinked into the darkness, his hand pausing in Xinyuan’s hair. "What is ’us’?"

Xinyuan immediately pulled his head back from Wenzhi’s neck, fixing him with an utterly scandalous, deeply offended look. "You are not—"

Wenzhi slapped his palm over the Esper’s mouth, cutting him off mid-sentence. "It’s late. We should sleep."

Xinyuan slowly dragged his gaze up, rolling his eyes with such exaggerated dryness that Wenzhi couldn’t help but scoff in amusement. "Why the eye roll? I was asking a very serious question."

"Us... me and you, you and I..." Xinyuan mumbled, completely ignoring the fact that Wenzhi’s hand was still firmly covering his lips. The words came out entirely muffled, but Wenzhi could make them out perfectly.

Wenzhi slowly pulled his hand away, letting out a soft sigh. "I know what you are talking about. Do you want a label?"

"I think a label would make me feel a lot better," Xinyuan said immediately.

Wenzhi couldn’t believe what he was hearing. "Guide and Esper is a label."

Xinyuan instantly twisted his features, making a thoroughly displeased face. "I don’t like that one."

Wenzhi moved his palm up, shifting from Xinyuan’s mouth to completely cover the Esper’s eyes this time. "So if I tell you to drop on one knee right now and propose, will you?"

"I drop to my knees for you anytime you ask, so why would this be an exception?" Xinyuan countered, his tone heavy with such genuine curiosity and deadpan seriousness that Wenzhi’s chest tightened.

Wenzhi dragged his hand away from Xinyuan’s face. But the moment his eyes were uncovered, Xinyuan leaned down and aggressively pressed his ear directly against Wenzhi’s chest, a triumphant grin spreading across his face. "Your heart is racing."

"It is not," Wenzhi said dryly, his face flushing as he immediately tried to kick Xinyuan off him.

But Xinyuan was a solid, unmovable wall. He just squeezed tighter, burying his face right back into the side of Wenzhi’s neck, chanting, "I’m sorry, I’m sorry," through a fit of laughter.

He was thoroughly enjoying every bit of Wenzhi’s reaction. Both the blatant avoidance and the stubborn, failing attempt to hide his true feelings.

Realizing he wasn’t winning the physical struggle, Wenzhi finally relaxed into the mattress, his fingers automatically finding their way back into Xinyuan’s soft dark hair. He stared up at the dark ceiling, a small, quiet smile slipping onto his face.

"If you get a ring... Maybe I would agree."

Xinyuan instantly stiffened against him, a sudden rush of pure excitement tearing through their bond. He locked his arms around Wenzhi’s waist, holding him so fiercely it felt like he wanted to crawl directly under his Guide’s skin. "Please agree."

"I said maybe."

"I do not like your maybes," Xinyuan groaned heavily against his neck, nuzzling the soft skin there in protest.

Wenzhi reached down, patting the top of his head in a thoroughly patronizing, affectionate rhythm. "Deal with it, Sleeping Beauty. Deal with it."