Chapter 31: Ch 31: Bloodbath tub
– Alien Shop? What a unique name with a sense of style! Is it an online
store, too?
Ah, I’d summoned Braun as well.
He was thrilled that I’d drawn the curtains in the middle of the day for him
and couldn’t get over how I’d sold the mascot snack.
’This friend of mine sure has a low threshold for being touched...’
To be fair, the mascot had given me two packs, and I’d saved one, just in
case.
Anyway, to answer his question...
"Yep, it’s online. You browse products on a page that looks like a flyer."
– Aha! Is that so?
Braun’s cheerful voice echoed.
– I’m intrigued to see the shop that my friend frequents so often...
<Space Shopping Mall>
※Amazing items from outer space※~!!
>>I’ll take a look at the items
– ...
– ...?!
– What is this? This is just a hideous flyer, completely devoid of any
aesthetic appeal!
Hmm...
"Isn’t usefulness more important than appearances?"
– My word! Mr. Roe Deer, appearances are just as important as the
contents! Visual appeal is the first thing that draws in an audience!
– How could anyone be attracted to such an uninspiring and plain, not to
mention ugly, flyer?
Sure, sure.
With Braun’s commentary in the background, I clicked into the site.
...Alright, Mr. Roe Deer, I still have faith in you. Since you said it’s
worthwhile, I’m sure there’s more to see behind the flyer...
Items
Bloodbathtub – ₩29,999,999
Mysterious Candle Kit – ₩19,999,999
Snow White’s Apple – ₩11,999,999
We Can Help! – ₩66,666,666
※Sale!※ Bloodsucking Cutlery – ₩7,999,999
₩14,999,999
– ...
"Braun?"
No response. I think he fainted. Looks like my ’Good Friend’ here really
understands the plight of designers... or, well, monsters who feel that
plight.
"You okay?"
– I... need to rest.
Be my guest.
I turned my attention back to the items.
Some listings immediately stood out as unchanged. The ’We Can Help!’
item was still unavailable, and the Bloodsucking Cutlery were now marked
as a discounted item...
’Still here, huh.’
※Sale!※ Bloodsucking Cutlery – ₩7,999,999
₩14,999,999
I thought someone would’ve bought it by now, or that the algorithm
would’ve removed it from my recommendations, but here it was again.
’Do they think I’ll buy it?’
It felt a bit weird. But anyway, moving on.
The most expensive item I could actually purchase was...
Bloodbathtub – ₩29,999,999
’I saw someone looking for one of these on the Salmon Market earlier.’
It was quite a well-known item—I remembered the description.
========================
Dark Exploration Records / Delusion Home Shopping
/ Items
Bloodbathtub
Today, we present an extraordinary product! The amazing elixir of
youth from our home shopping channel!
Presenting... the tub of youth...
– July 7, 20XX, item description from ’Delusion Home Shopping’
========================
When filled with someone else’s blood, this tub transforms the blood into a
fragrant bath mix that heals wounds, relieves fatigue, treats arthritis, and
enhances skin.
’Basically, a modern spin on the vampire legend, in item form.’
The price actually seemed surprisingly reasonable, considering the item’s
reputation.
Still, the idea of bathing in a tub filled with someone else’s blood—even if
it becomes a ’fragrant bath mix’—is enough to make my head spin...
’Let’s check the next one.’
Mysterious Candle Kit – ₩19,999,999
This one was unfamiliar to me. But a candle tends to evoke the idea of light,
and light is often a symbol of comfort and protection in creepypastas.
’Still, I’ll need to consider carefully before spending 20 million won on it.’
And lastly...
Snow White’s Apple – ₩11,999,999
Wow. Even if it’s useless, maybe I could turn around and sell it for 40
million won and make a huge profit?
’I mean, who knows if it’ll count as food from paranormal phenomena, but
it’s worth a shot.’
The post seeking ’food from paranormal phenomena’ was still up, and the
buyer was looking for research purposes, so they’d likely keep buying.
Given all this, my choice was clear...
"These ones, for sure."
Mysterious Candle Kit – ₩19,999,999
Snow White’s Apple – ₩11,999,999
※Sale!※ Bloodsucking Cutlery – ₩7,999,999
= ₩39,999,997
As I mentioned, light is the antithesis to a creepypasta. And an item that
produces candles?
I had a feeling that candles from this kit might be related to defense or
protection.
’It’s a worthwhile investment, even if it’s expensive.’
Snow White’s Apple, too, was appealing for similar reasons.
’If it’s called "Snow White’s Apple," it probably has something to do with
sleep.’
I really need some quality sleep these days. If that apple can actually help
me sleep deeply, it would be perfect for me. My efficiency would
skyrocket, and my survival rate would soar...
’Please, just let it work!’
I hit the purchase button, desperately hopeful.
’And if it doesn’t work, I can always sell it.’
A fallback plan is in place, just in case.
Now, for the last item—Bloodsucking Cutlery.
’With such a big discount, isn’t it polite to buy it?’
The last discounted item I bought, the ’Silver Serpent’, turned out to be
quite useful, from custom gear to summoning Braun.
For reference, if you press the plush keychain’s belly, you can feel the
round metal shape of the ’Silver Serpent’ inside.
I’m not sure how useful the Bloodsucking Cutlery will be, but they might
come in handy for trade or for selling to other employees.
And now I have a cover story if anyone asks where I got it—I can just say I
found it on the Salmon Market.
So, these are my three chosen items.
"Alright."
They fit perfectly within my budget. Time to finalize the purchase...
– Mr. Roe Deer.
Hm?
Out of nowhere, Braun called out to me.
– About that ’Bloodbathtub’.
What about it?
– I would like to have it.
"...?!"
W-What?
– Friend, would you consider giving a gift to this Braun here?
Braun’s voice was uncharacteristically eager, tinged with a hint of
craftiness.
– I’ve tried to help you with all my heart as your ’Good Friend’, haven’t I?
Yet, I’ve never asked for anything in return! So perhaps it wouldn’t be too
much to expect a small reward for my loyalty... Ah.
Silence.
– Apologies. I’ve said something far too mercenary... trying to put a price
on our friendship.
– A ’Good Friend’ would never do such a thing...
Braun’s shadow slumped in a gesture of shame, and his voice fell to a sad
murmur.
– Please, disregard this ’Good Friend’s’ words...
Umm.
"Sure."
– Pardon...?!
"The Bloodbathtub. Let’s buy it."
– !!
To be fair, he did help me escape the theme park. I owe him for that. After
all, he saved my life, so the least I can do is return the favor.
Besides, the money here feels like game currency, and I have a few
promising ways to earn more in the future. Plus, keeping on Braun’s good
side is clearly the smart move, especially given the peculiar abilities he
showed back at the park.
’And if I’m going to get it, I should do it wholeheartedly, without holding
back!’
"Just a bit more cash, and I’ll buy it for you as soon as it’s deposited."
– Oh my goodness!
– Thank you! Thank you so much, Mr. Roe Deer, my friend...!
"Yeah. But remember, this isn’t a reward or anything. It’s just a gift because
you’re my friend, Braun."
– I understand, Friend!
"I’ll buy the Bloodbathtub as soon as the extra funds are deposited. It
should be in just a few days."
– Yes!!
His voice trembled with excitement and joy, and he took a moment to
steady himself.
– I’m really looking forward to it... haha!
It was good to see him so happy.
...Just, please don’t ask me to go find fresh blood.
– Oh! The items have arrived. That was quick!
Once again, the ordered items arrived promptly, packed in a post office box,
and I indulged in a satisfying unboxing session.
On top was the discounted vampire cutlery.
– Hooh. Quite the refined cutlery set, isn’t it? It looks suitable for an elegant
setting!
A small dessert fork and knife, exquisitely crafted and wrapped in leather.
They gleamed delicately in the flashlight’s glow, elegant and polished.
The downside, of course, is that they’re meant to be blood-stained for use...
sigh.
’Still, I might as well keep them on hand.’
They’re compact and easy to carry, and now that I have some custom gear
and other items, it might be worth a try in a crisis.
Underneath the cutlery was...
[Quick and Easy Candle Making Kit]
It was the ’Mysterious Candle Kit’ box. With its colorful, cute design, it
looked like a children’s kit.
’Actually, this might be a good thing.’
If it’s child-friendly, it’ll be easy to make!
I wanted to open it right away to check the instructions and materials, but
the warning label plastered across the front caught my eye.
[No refunds after opening. Ingredients will spoil 12 hours after
exposure to air, so use quickly.]
[Recommended users: 3 people]
Um. Probably best to leave it unopened for now.
’I’ll prep everything the night before my next assignment.’
Still, I was curious about the candle’s effects. For 20 million won, it had to
be more than ordinary.
– Only one item left, then!
"Right."
I finally looked at the last item at the bottom of the box—a small but
hefty... produce apple crate.
"...?"
No, seriously.
Snow White Mountain Apples
So delicious! Great for health and nutrition!
"..."
Could this be a mistake? Did I accidentally order real farm produce?
Hmm. There was a letter attached on top of the box from the supplier. Let’s
see...
--------------------
To our valued customers who purchased Snow White Apples, we
express our sincere gratitude.
This produce is grown with care and nourished with ■■ as fertilizer
sourced from ■■, cultivated and harvested directly with the sweat of
hard work. Its effects and taste are distinctively different from those of
other orchards. ^^
Usage: Chew and swallow one apple completely.
Effect: Immediately induces a death-like sleep where all biological
activity ceases.
This effect lasts until sunrise the next day, after which you will awaken
with renewed energy and greatly improved condition.
※ Note : This orchard is not liable for any changes to your body during the sleep state.
--------------------
"..."
’Definitely paranormal.’
So, it’s like that potion in Romeo and Juliet, the one that makes you look
dead.
’Got it.’
I opened the apple crate. Inside were seven small, shiny, perfectly round
apples, bright red and practically picture-perfect.
– Truly, they look healthy and beneficial!
Really?
But yes, this does seem quite useful. An item that induces a state of
suspended animation and allows you to recover fully after a day? I could
definitely find a use for it.
So, my current inventory now includes:
– Good Friend
– Bloodsucking Cutlery
– Mysterious Candle Kit
– Snow White’s Apples
– Memorial Popsocket
– Smiley Sticker :)
– Alice Picnic Set
Then, my special equipment, plus one pack of Blue Soda Churros.
’And soon, I’ll add the Bloodbathtub...’
Let’s make the most of all these items and try to stay alive.
– Then, sweet dreams to you, Mr. Roe Deer!
That night, I went to bed a bit earlier. I slept fairly well, occasionally
plagued by nightmares, but mostly undisturbed.
I had a feeling that the next few days would at least be peaceful, so that
might be what made me feel at ease.
’Let’s rest up, reorganize, and get ready until the payment comes in.’
* * *
But a few days later, I faced a shocking reality.
’The additional allowance... hasn’t been deposited!’
Even the manual revision that the A-squad leader mentioned hadn’t been
completed. I was supposed to receive a reward for that.
’W-What the heck.’
Was it all just a bluff? Did they really swindle me out of fifty million won?
I immediately started investigating and soon heard an unbelievable update.
"...The person in charge is missing?"
"Yeah. They haven’t shown up for days."
Apparently, an administrative staff member who handles the manual
revisions is currently missing.
And it’s already been a week.
"..."
Wait a damn minute.
"Then, the manual review..."
"It’s been postponed indefinitely. It’s not urgent, and... you know how long
it takes this company to reassign paperwork. Probably at least two months."
N-No way!
I made a promise with a certain creepypasta monster!
