Chapter 195: You Are Not A Jinx
I don’t know what time it was, but my mind was still on the issue. The room was dark and quiet, the only sound being the soft hum of the heater, but my thoughts were loud. I just couldn’t get my mind off it. I was tossing and turning, my skin feeling itchy against the sheets as I replayed everything in my head. Thinking about it over and over again until it felt like my brain was going in circles.
I needed to talk to someone, I know I did. I promise myself that I wouldn’t wake the girl up tonight. I saw how she looked when she came home, the way her shoulders slumped and how quickly she crashed into the pillows. I was going to let her sleep no matter what I was craving for, even if my stomach was twisting with a new hunger.
But I just can’t sleep. The silence was too heavy and the guilt was starting to eat at me again.
"Princess, are you asleep?" I muttered, my voice barely a whisper in the dark.
There was silence for a few seconds, long enough for me to think she was out cold, before I finally got a response from her. I heard her shift under the heavy duvet, the fabric rustling.
"Yes, I’m awake now, what do you want to eat?" She said. Her voice was raspy, thick with the kind of exhaustion that made my heart ache. I could feel her, even without looking. I’m sure she was tired, her body probably feeling like lead.
"Should we get married?" I said. The question just came out, hanging in the air between us like a physical thing.
I have been thinking about that all day, every since I saw those scores on the board. One of losing those strikes was because I refused her proposal for marriage. She had offered me everything and I had said no because I was not ready.
"Do you want to get married?" She asked. She didn’t sound shocked or angry. Her face was still turned to the other side, her breath steady against the pillow.
"Yes." I said, my heart thumping against my ribs.
"Why do you want to get married? I thought you wanted to wait until after college and have everything right?"
Yes, that was my original plan. I was not ready for marriage back then. We are still teenagers, just kids playing at being adults. I wanted to do a lot of things before being called a Mrs, I wanted my degree and my own career. But if getting married means getting her back to what she was, if it heals the rift with her family and brings back that spark in her eyes, I don’t mind getting married to her multiple times. I’d walk down that aisle every single day if it fixed her life.
"We are already a family, we are living together, expecting our pups anytime soon... let’s get married.." I said. I reached out, my fingers finding her arm in the dark.
Princess didn’t say anything for a long time. Then, she turned to look at me in the face. The crescent moon was hitting the bed just enough for me to see those dark circles around her eyes, the shadows that made her look older than she was.
She reached out and removed the hair from my face, her touch gentle as she tucked a stray strand backwards behind my ear.
"You are not a jinx, Faye.." she muttered.
I froze. What, how did she know? I hadn’t told her about the board or the comments on Oakgram.
"Did Malo tell you?" I said, already suspecting that donut boy. He was the only one capable of telling her everything the second it happened, since he was still working for her and couldn’t keep a secret to save his life.
She shook her head, her hand lingering on my cheek.
"I was walking by and I happened to hear you..." she said, her voice soft but firm. "You coming into my life is no bad luck or omen or whatever you call it. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me, Cotton. Lately I have realized what I am to some people. All my life I have been a brand to the family name, a product to be sold or displayed. Having to live up to their rules so I could breathe their air was suffocating me. I don’t need their air Faye. Breathing my own air, even if it’s a struggle, is the best thing that has ever happened to me... I don’t need strikes or good grades. I don’t need a crown. I need you.."
Princess said, leaning in and kissing my forehead. Her lips were warm and dry. I just couldn’t help but cry. The relief washed over me, heavy and wet. She helped me wipe my tears with the pad of her thumb, then she kissed my eyes, then my nose and lips. I was still crying, the sobs catching in my throat as I clung to her.
"I’m sorry I’m causing you sleepless nights.." I cried out, my face buried in her neck.
"Stop, I don’t like seeing you cry, don’t think of yourself as some bad luck okay... you’re my anchor."
"But the comments... they say I ruined you."
"Fuck them all, they are just jealous of what we have. They can’t imagine a life that isn’t about stats and rankings. And they are lucky that I am not president anymore, I would have dealt with them personally. I would’ve searched every IP address and give them detention for making my baby girl cry.." Princess said, a ghost of a smirk finally pulling at her lips.
I smiled the moment she said detention. I couldn’t help it. That was the best thing she loved doing, giving detention. It was her favorite power trip, and hearing her say it made things feel normal again.
"I’m going to be Princess Kings good luck... I’m giving her a family... she is going to be a mom soon.." I said, wiping my nose on the edge of the blanket.
"Yes, see that is a good one.. we are going to be moms.. Mommy.." Princess teased. She leaned in, using her nose to play with my nose, a little Eskimo kiss that made me giggle.
"Mama.." I said back, my heart feeling lighter than it had in weeks.
Having this moment with her was what I needed. If Princess doesn’t blame me for what was happening, if it was her decision she made on her own, then the weight was gone. Not caring about the Kings family dumb strikes was her choice, her rebellion. I can live with that. I don’t have to be worried about something really going off with her and her family anymore. As long as we have each other it’s fine.
I’m going to take care of her too..
"Okay, what is it you want to eat, I can get it for you.." Princess asked. She started to sit up, reaching for the robe at the foot of the bed.
"Aren’t you tired? You should sleep..?" I said, touching her cheeks and trying to pull her back down.
"I am, but I’m already used to my girlfriend sending me on a midnight quest. It’s part of the job description now. It’s overwhelming because of the food combinations, I still taste that tuna-pickle-chocolate thing from Tuesday, but at least I’m here.."
"Cuddle me first.." I said, pulling her back into the warmth of the sheets.
Princess cuddled me, being the big spoon. She wrapped her arms around my middle, her chin resting on the top of my head. We spent like an hour to 30 minutes being in that position, just breathing together. Since she was still awake and the room was quiet, it felt like we were the only two people left in the world.
I finally felt the hunger kick in again, but this time I didn’t want her to go alone. I decided to follow her to go get my cravings, spending time together before the school rivalry begins.
