Chapter 285: [4.103] This is Not a Love Confession
"Does it bother you? That I’m poor?"
"Does it bother you that I’m not?"
"Sometimes."
She set down her fork and gave me her full attention. "Why?"
"Because everything in your world costs more than I make in a month. Because your sisters can buy whatever they want without thinking about it. Because the only reason I’m sitting in this restaurant is because someone else is paying the bill."
"You’re sitting in this restaurant because I asked you to come with me. The money is irrelevant."
"Money is never irrelevant."
"To you. To me, it’s just a tool. I have enough of it that I don’t have to think about it, which means I can think about other things instead. Things that actually matter."
"Like what?"
She picked up her fork again and took a bite of something that looked like a vegetable but probably cost more than my textbooks.
"Like whether the boy sitting across from me is going to stop being scared long enough to actually let me in. Like whether my sisters are going to tear each other apart fighting over someone who doesn’t understand what he’s worth. Like whether my mother is going to figure out what’s happening before I’m ready to deal with her."
"Your mother knows something’s happening. Mrs. Tanaka told her."
Sabrina’s expression didn’t change, but something in her posture shifted. "I know. I’ve been reading Mrs. Tanaka’s reports for years. The woman thinks she’s being subtle, but she leaves her phone on the kitchen counter every morning when she does the inventory."
"So you know what she’s been telling Camille."
"I know everything that happens in that house. Including the fact that Mrs. Tanaka defended you to my mother three days ago. That was unexpected."
"She said some things about me being different from the other assistants."
"You are different. The others were either intimidated by us or trying to use us. You just treated us like normal people who happened to have more money than sense."
The waiter appeared to refill our water glasses, and Sabrina waited until he’d left before continuing.
"My mother is going to try to get rid of you. She sees you as a threat to her control over us, which means she’s going to look for leverage. Your sister, your scholarship, your job. Anything she can use to make you leave."
"I figured."
"And you’re still here."
"Iris needs me to finish school. I can’t do that if I run away every time someone threatens me."
Sabrina’s lips curved into something that was almost a smile. "That’s not why you’re still here."
"No?"
"You’re still here because you care about us. All of us. Even Cassidy, who spent the first month trying to make your life miserable. Even Vivienne, who treats you like an employee more often than she treats you like a person. Even Harlow, who overwhelms you with affection you don’t know how to accept."
She leaned forward, her elbows on the table, her chin resting on her interlaced fingers.
"And me. You care about me, even though I scare you more than any of them."
"You don’t scare me."
"Liar." She said it fondly, like being called out on my bullshit was a form of affection. "You’ve been on edge since we sat down at the park. Your shoulders are tight and you keep touching your phone like you’re checking for an escape route."
I forced myself to stop touching my phone.
"Better. Now finish your duck. We have somewhere else to be."
We spent the rest of the afternoon at the manor, which turned out to be exactly as relaxing as Sabrina had promised. She curled up on a couch in the library with a book I couldn’t pronounce the title of, and I sat at the other end with my laptop, pretending to work on an essay while actually watching her read.
The light through the tall windows caught the red in her hair and made her skin look almost translucent. Every few minutes she’d turn a page, and I’d catch a glimpse of her profile, the sharp line of her jaw and the curve of her neck disappearing into the collar of her sweater.
"You’re staring."
"I’m observing."
"There’s a difference?"
"I’m not the one who spent three months collecting information about a guy before talking to him."
She turned a page without looking up. "Fair point."
At some point Mrs. Tanaka brought tea and disappeared without comment. The cup she’d given me was black coffee instead, and I wondered how much the housekeeper had been watching us today.
"Sabrina."
"Hmm?"
"What do you actually want from this? Not the rotation, not the arrangement with your sisters. What do you want?"
She closed her book and set it aside, then shifted on the couch until she was facing me directly. The movement brought her closer, close enough that I could see the individual strands of wine-red hair framing her face.
"I want to stop being alone. I want someone who sees me, all of me, and doesn’t run away. I want to fall asleep knowing that someone else in the world understands what I’m carrying."
"That’s a lot to ask from a guy you just started dating."
"I’m not asking for it today. I’m telling you what I want so you know what you’re getting into."
She reached over and took my hand again, threading her fingers through mine like she’d done it a thousand times before.
"The next two weeks are for getting to know each other. Not the versions we show everyone else. The real ones. I’m going to tell you things I’ve never told anyone, and I’m going to ask you questions you’re not going to want to answer. And at the end of it, you’re going to decide whether you can handle being with someone who knows you better than you know yourself."
"What if I can’t?"
"Then you’ll tell me, and we’ll figure out what comes next. But I don’t think that’s going to happen."
