Chapter 27: The Feeling of Being Unwanted
The air between them grew heavy as Asteria studied Tessa’s face, searching for any hint of deception. But all she found was honesty, staring back at her with those familiar eyes that suddenly felt like they belonged to a stranger.
"Tess, why are you here? And..." Asteria paused as her eyes finally took in the full picture of the woman standing before her.
The way Tessa held herself was different from the Tessa who helped Asteria back in the Auclair mansion.
She’s more confident, more grounded. Her posture had changed, her gaze was sharper now, and there was something about the way she carried herself.
"Why do you appear to be different?" Asteria’s voice came out barely above a whisper, the confusion was evident in every syllable.
Tessa let out a soft laugh, the sound was more gentle and reassuring rather than mocking. "Haha, not really, Ms. Asteria. This is the real me. And Madam Faye and Sir Alfonso assigned me to be a spy at the Auclair mansion and guard you."
Asteria’s breath caught in her throat, her chest tightening as the confession settled as something she had not expected. Her mind raced back to every conversation, every shared secret, every moment she had confided with Tessa, thinking she was speaking to a friend who simply worked in the mansion.
But Tessa had been watching her the entire time, acting on orders from the Eisenthurns to guard her.
A spy.
The word echoed in her head,
"W-What?" Asteria stammered, her voice was trembling as she took an instinctive step back.
But Tessa followed her, closing the distance again with a gentleness that seemed almost practiced. "Please don’t look at me differently, Ms. Asteria." She reached out and took Asteria’s hand, her fingers were warm and steady as they wrapped around Asteria’s trembling ones.
Tessa locked their gazes together, refusing to let Asteria look away. There was no guilt there, no shame, just something that looked a lot like devotion. "I was always on your side. I still am. Nothing has changed except now you know the truth."
Asteria wanted to pull her hand back, wanted to demand more answers, wanted to be angry, but the sincerity in Tessa’s eyes made her hesitate.
She had never had someone look at her like that before, like she mattered, like protecting her was not a chore but a choice. And maybe that was the most confusing part of all.
Across from the Gazebo, Faye watched the entire exchange with barely concealed amusement. Her sharp eyes had caught every micro expression on Keres’ face, the way her jaw had tightened when Tessa first took Asteria’s hand, the way her fingers had curled into fists at her sides, or the way her breathing had become shallow and controlled as if she was physically holding herself back from lunging across the room.
Faye leaned closer to her daughter, her voice dropping into a teasing whisper that only Keres could hear. "Daughter, are you jealous?"
Keres turned her head slowly, her expression carefully blank but her eyes were burning with barely contained fire.
"Jealous?" She let out a short, dismissive laugh that sounded anything but genuine. "Mom, I am Keres Eisenthurn. I have the power to get everything I want." Her voice was steady and controlled, but there was an edge to it that Faye recognized immediately. Keres was not just irritated, she was furious, and the way she was trying very hard to hide it was very amusing to Faye.
Faye raised an eyebrow but said nothing, her smirk only growing wider as she watched Keres struggle to maintain her composure.
Then Keres saw it, the way Tessa was looking at Asteria. It was not the look of a bodyguard watching over a client or observing a target. It was the look of someone who wanted something, someone who yearned, or someone who looked at Asteria like she was the only person in the room worth seeing.
That look made something dark and possessive coil in Keres’ stomach, a feeling she had been trying to ignore ever since Asteria walked into her life. She watched as Tessa held Asteria’s hand with such tenderness, such familiarity, and then she saw the way Tessa’s eyes softened when they lingered on Asteria’s face.
That was not the look of an employee. That was the look of someone in love.
"Fuck," Keres muttered under her breath, the word slipping out before she could stop it.
She moved, her long strides eating up the distance between them in seconds. Her hand closed around Asteria’s other wrist, pulling gently but firmly, staking her claim without saying a word.
But Tessa did not let go. Their eyes met over Asteria’s head, and the tension in the room became so thick it was almost suffocating. Neither one of them backed down, their grips on Asteria’s hands tightened and their gazes locked in a silent battle of wills.
Keres was the first to speak, her voice was low and controlled, like each word measured and deliberate. "Let go."
Tessa did not flinch. She held Keres’ gaze with the same fierce intensity, her chin lifting slightly in defiance. "Why would I do that?"
Keres suddenly felt her composure cracking just a little. The audacity of this woman, this employee, this spy who had been living in her father’s mansion pretending to be nothing more than a servant, dared to stand here and challenge her.
"Let go of my wife," Keres said, her voice rising just enough to make her anger clear. She emphasized the last word, throwing it like a weapon, hoping it would cut deep enough to make Tessa release her hold.
But Tessa didn’t budge her grip on Asteria’s hand, her thumb brushing gently over Asteria’s knuckles in a way that was meant to soothe but only served to inflame Keres further.
"On papers," Tessa replied,
For the first time in a very long time, Keres felt like she was losing control. Her heart pounded in her chest, her jaw clenched so tight she thought her teeth might crack, and her hand trembled slightly around Asteria’s wrist.
No one had ever spoken to her like that. No one had ever dared and yet here was this woman, this nobody, standing her ground as if she had every right to touch what belonged to Keres.
Asteria remained frozen between them, her eyes darting back and forth from Keres to Tessa. Both women towered over her, their presence were overwhelming.
Their anger and desperation filling the space around her until she could barely breathe. She could feel the tension radiating from both of them, could see the way Keres’ chest rose and fell with barely restrained rage, she also could see the way Tessa’s jaw was set in determination.
They were fighting over her like she was something worth fighting for, and she did not know how to process that.
"Um... Can you both please let go of my hand?" Asteria finally asked, her voice timid and shy, so small compared to the intensity of the two women holding onto her.
Neither of them moved.
"Maybe you’re forgetting your place here, girl," Keres said, she ignored Asteria. Her voice dripping with disdain as she looked Tessa up and down.
"It’s Tessa," Tessa shot back, her voice almost sneering, the correction sharp and immediate. She would not let Keras diminish her or let her reduce to just some nameless servant who could be pushed around.
"Whatever." Keres waved her free hand dismissively, her eyes never leaving Tessa’s face. "I don’t care what your name is. You’re just my father’s employee. Know your place and stop touching my wife!"
With that, Keres reached out with her other hand and grabbed Tessa’s arm, prying her fingers off Asteria’s hand with more force than necessary. She threw Tessa’s arm aside as if it disgusted her, then pulled Asteria close to her side, wrapping an arm around her waist in a possessive grip that left no room for argument.
"And the audacity for you to say that she is my wife on papers," Keres continued, her voice low and dangerous now, her face inches from Tessa’s. "Yes, she may be. But she is mine."
The words hung in the air like a challenge, a declaration of ownership that left no room for interpretation.
Keres did not wait for a response, she pulled Asteria away, striding back toward the mansion with Asteria stumbling slightly to keep up with her pace.
Behind them, Faye and Alfonso watched with matching expressions of amusement. Faye nudged her husband with her elbow, a proud smile spreading across her face. Alfonso simply shook his head, but the corners of his mouth twitched upward.
Their daughter had never been good at sharing, and it seemed that some things never changed.
Inside the mansion, the moment the doors closed behind them, Keres stopped walking. She released Asteria’s arm with a suddenness that made Asteria stumble backward, and when she turned to face her wife, her eyes were blazing with an anger that had been simmering since the moment she saw Tessa holding Asteria’s hand.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Keres demanded, her voice loud and sharp, echoing off the walls of the grand foyer. "I am your wife, yet you just threw yourself at that woman?"
Asteria’s eyes widened, her lips parting in shock. "I... I’m sorry. Tessa is my best friend—"
"I don’t care!" Keres yelled, and the force of her voice made Asteria flinch, her whole body suddenly trembled as she took an instinctive step backward.
"I don’t care who she is to you. I don’t care if she’s your best friend or your long lost sister or the fucking queen of England. What I care about is that you stood there and let her touch you, let her hold your hand, let her look at you like she wanted to devour you right there in front of everyone."
Asteria’s eyes filled with tears, her lower lip trembling as she tried to find words that would calm Keres down, words that would make this better. But nothing came. Every time she opened her mouth, the words died in her throat, choked back by fear and confusion.
Keres’ mood swings were unpredictable, impossible to anticipate. Last night she had been caring, almost gentle, and Asteria had allowed herself to believe that maybe things were changing between them. But today she was angry again, cold and cruel, and Asteria did not know which version of her wife was real.
"Know your place, Asteria," Keres continued, her voice dropping to something quieter but no less cutting. Each word was a blade, aimed directly at Asteria’s heart. "I don’t want you hanging out with someone who clearly looks at you with an intention to fuck you."
The words hit Asteria like physical blows. She felt them land, one after another, each one stealing a little more of her breath and a little more of her will to stand there and take it. Her vision blurred with tears, and she could feel her hands shaking at her sides.
"I... I’m sorry," Asteria whispered, her voice cracking. "I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry—"
"Stop apologizing," Keres snapped, cutting her off. "It sickens me."
Asteria’s mouth closed instantly, her apologies dying on her tongue. She stood there frozen, tears streaming down her cheeks—her body trembling so violently she thought her knees might give out. She had done something wrong, she did not know what it was but she had clearly done something wrong.
That was all she ever did, was it not? She disappointed people, angered people, made people regret ever being associated with her.
Keres let out a frustrated scream, her hands flying to her hair as she paced back and forth. "Fuck! Fuck!" Her voice echoed through the empty foyer, bouncing off the marble floors and high ceilings.
When she finally stopped pacing and looked at Asteria, something in her chest tightened. Asteria was crying, not the quiet tears she usually shed but the kind that came with sobs that she was trying desperately to muffle.
She looked small, so impossibly small, standing there in the middle of the grand foyer with her shoulders hunched and her hands clasped in front of her like she was trying to make herself take up less space made Keres felt something she did not want to feel.
Guilt.
She stood there for a long moment, her anger slowly draining away and leaving behind something hollow and uncomfortable. Her jaw worked as she tried to find words, tried to say something that would not make things worse, but everything that came to mind felt inadequate.
"Just..." Keres started, then stopped. She ran a hand through her hair, frustrated with herself and with Asteria, with the entire situation. "Just stay away from that woman." Her voice was quieter now, less certain, and she hated how weak she sounded.
Asteria nodded, still not looking up, still crying silently.
Keres watched her for another moment, watched the way her shoulders shook with each suppressed sob and she felt something crack inside her chest. But she did not know how to fix this.
She did not know how to be soft, how to apologize, how to take back the words she had already thrown like weapons. So she did what she always did when things became too much.
She walked away.
Her footsteps echoed through the foyer as she left, each step taking her further from the woman she had just reduced to tears.
She did not look back. She could not look back because if she looked back she might see the damage she had done and she was not ready to face that yet.
Asteria stood alone in the middle of the foyer, her tears falling freely now that there was no one there to see them. She sank to her knees, her hands covering her face as sobs wracked her body.
She felt small, insignificant, and unwanted. No matter what she did, she could never get it right. She was always too much or not enough, always saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing or simply existing in a way that seemed to bother everyone around her.
She thought about her parents, the ones who had hit her, punish her, kick her, and starved her without a second thought. She thought about the Auclair family, who had treated her like a servant in her own home. She thought about Keres, who looked at her like she was a burden and a possession the next.
And she thought about Tessa, the one person who had made her feel seen, who had held her hand and looked at her with something that felt like warmth.
But Tessa had been lying to her too. Everyone lied to her. Everyone used her. Everyone left her eventually.
Asteria wrapped her arms around herself, trying to hold herself together, she let the tears come until there were no tears left. She was the unwanted girl, the girl who always burdened others, the jinx, the disgrace, nothing but a mere object for other people’s satisfaction and pleasure. That was what she had always been. That was all she would ever be.
And somewhere in the mansion, Keres sat in the darkness and tried to convince herself that she did not care. But the guilt sat heavy in her chest, and no matter how hard she tried to push it away, it would not leave.
