Chapter 3: WELCOME BACK HOME
Chapter 3
Lumi
I stay on the phone with Neve until I reach the airport. Her voice keeps me together while I check in and go through security.
When I finally sit down in a quiet corner, my wet bags between my feet, I feel completely empty.
My wolf is curled up small and tight inside me.
She hasn’t stirred much since I left the flat, it’s the same silence I’ve lived with for years, but now it feels colder.
The pain is too deep for a wolf that has never found her way out.
I stare at the floor and tell myself not to think, but my mind won’t listen.
Three years.
That’s what Callum told me. But Theo is already three years old and Sienna might have given birth before our wedding.
He lied to me even at the very end. I press my fingers against my eyes until it hurts.
I remember Sienna taking three months leave, few months before I and Callum’s wedding.
She said her sick mother needed help, so I spoke to the boss to grant her the time.
I’d always been the one digging my own grave.
My wolf makes a weak, hurting sound as I remember the first time I introduced them to eachother.
It was a warm Friday evening at the end of summer. I was so excited.
She was my only real friend in London, so I brought her to dinner. She looked beautiful, as always.
I remember stepping out of the bathroom and finding them laughing together. I stood in the doorway feeling proud, watching the two people I loved most in the world bond so well. I thought I was looking at my perfect life.
Instead, I was watching the beginning of the end.
My stomach twists. I put my hand on it and breathe slowly through my nose.
They had known each other for six years. All that time Sienna sat with me at lunch, asked about my marriage, listened to every detail. I told her private things. Tender things. And she went home to him afterwards.
Two years ago, when Callum became distant, I took Sienna out for wine and told her I was scared he was pulling away. She held my hand and said, "He loves you. Some men just go quiet. It doesn’t mean anything."
I believed her. I went home and tried even harder to be the perfect wife.
She knew the truth the whole time.
A painful sound escapes my throat. I cover my mouth with both hands and breathe until the worst of it passes.
The gate opens at 12:40. I board the plane like a robot. Headphones in. Eyes on nothing.
When the plane takes off, London disappears below us as I watch the lights fade.
I am twenty-nine years old and I just lost seven years of my life. I introduced my husband to his mistress. I took care of their pup.
The worst part isn’t even the betrayal.
The worst part is how happy I was just hours ago. Sitting in that taxi, smiling to myself, planning his surprised face. I really believed I had the kind of love people search for their whole lives.
I cry quietly over the Channel, face turned to the window and let the tears out without a sound.
The man beside me sleeps through it all and I’m grateful because I don’t want questions to stuffs I didn’t have answers to.
I cry until there is nothing left inside me.
The plane lands and I walk through arrivals feeling numb.
Few feets away, I see Neve. She looks exhausted, eyes red and tired. The moment she spots me she comes quickly, takes one of my bags, and pulls me into her side without saying a word.
Her arm stays around me the whole way to the car. Her scent wraps around me and my wolf lifts her head just a little.
"Car’s right there," she says softly.
Inside the car she turns the heat on full. Warm air fills the space. For a while we just drive in silence.
"Neve," I finally say.
"Yeah?"
"Will it ever go away? This pain and guilt?"
Her hands tighten on the steering wheel. She stays quiet, but I feel her wolf close to the surface, angry for me.
She pulls the car over to the side of the road, turn off the engine and hugs me hard. We cry together in the dark, holding each other tight. Two wolves. One broken heart shared between us.
After a long time she whispers, "It will get better. Not soon. But it will. You’re home now. You’re not alone."
Then she starts the car again.
"Let’s go home."
The rest of the drive is quiet. The familiar town lights pass by slowly. My wolf stays close to the surface, breathing in the old territory. She remembers this place even if I tried to forget it.
When we reach Neve’s house she helps me inside with the bags and shows me to the guest room.
"Sleep," she says gently. "We’ll talk tomorrow... or not. Whatever you need."
I lie down on the bed still wearing my damp clothes. My wolf curls up beside my heart, exhausted. So am I.
London is behind me. Callum is behind me. The lie I lived for seven years is behind me.
I am back in pack land. Broken. But home.
I close my eyes and let the last tears fall until sleep finally takes me.
.....
I sleep for only four hours in Neve’s guest room. It is not real sleep. My body shuts down because it has no choice, but my mind keeps running underneath.
I dream about Theo reaching for me, then about Callum and Sienna laughing together in our bed. Every time I almost wake up, the pain hits me again like a fresh cut.
When I open my eyes, grey morning light is coming through the curtains.
For three short seconds, I don’t remember anything. Then it all crashes back. The flat. The smells. The words. The pup that was never mine.
I lie there and stare at the ceiling, letting it settle back over me. All of it.
I don’t cry. I’ve emptied that out on the plane and on Neve’s shoulder. There’s nothing left for tears right now.
It takes a while before I feel like a person again, before my wolf stops circling restlessly inside my chest.
Then I head downstairs.
Neve is in the kitchen. She’s made eggs, toast, and coffee. The scent is warm and grounding, the way home should smell.
She looks up when she hears me but says nothing. She just tilts her head toward the chair at the table. I sit, and she sets a plate in front of me.
I stare at the food but has no intention of tasting it.
"Eat," she says quietly.
"I’m not hungry."
"I know. Eat anyway." I pick up the fork but didn’t eat immediately.
We sit in silence for a long time. I hate how ordinary it all looks. How the world doesn’t even pause when a wolf’s heart is torn out.
"I’ll always be here," Neve says.
"I know." I’ve never doubted it. She’s the only real pack I have left.
"Whenever you..."
"I know, Neve."
She wraps her hands around her mug and watches me. I can feel everything she wants to say sitting behind her eyes, the anger, the grief. But she says nothing.
She loved Callum too, as family. She had welcomed him into our circle and danced at our mating ceremony with genuine joy.
She is holding all of that back for my sake, and I love her for it.
"I introduced them," I say.
She goes still at my words. She’s aware of the fact because I don’t do anything without informing her, but I just needed to let it all out.
Maybe this pain would go away if I do.
