Chapter 18: FOR A STUPID REASON, I DIDN’T WANT TO.
Chapter 18
Lumi
I had to look away. If I kept staring into the bruised, aching dark of Ren’s eyes for another second, I was going to completely lose my footing, and right now, I needed to stay grounded.
"I’m getting antiseptic," I said, my voice sharper than I intended as I broke the contact and pulled my hands back.
Ren instantly reached out, his uninjured left hand moving to catch my wrist to stop me.
"Lumi, don’t..." I turned and leveled a look at him.
It wasn’t a panicked look, it was the steady, unyielding stare of someone who had just survived a major life disappointment and wasn’t about to be bullied by a six-foot-three biker.
The weight of my expression shut him right up. His hand dropped back to his thigh.
I opened the passenger door, stepped out into the crisp London air, and scanned the street.
Two doors down from Eleanor’s office was a small corner chemist. I walked inside, and quickly bought a bottle of antiseptic fluid, a roll of sterile gauze, and medical tape.
When I got back to the SUV, I didn’t get into the front. I yanked open the rear passenger door.
"Get in the back," I commanded.
Ren peered at me over his shoulder, his thick brows pulling together. "I’m not sitting in the back like a child, Lumi. I’m driving."
"You’re not driving anywhere with a hand that looks like minced beef," I said, tapping the leather seat. I was older than him, and it was about time I started acting like it. I was using my elder privilege, and I wasn’t going to let him argue his way out of it.
"I cannot allow you to drive with injuries like that. Only when I am completely finished treating your hand will you be allowed anywhere near the steering wheel. Get out of the driver’s seat and climb back here. Now. Don’t make me drag you."
He saw the absolute seriousness written across my face, he knew I wasn’t backing down.
A faint, disbelieving huff left his nose, but the absurdity of me trying to physically haul him anywhere must have amused him, because he actually complied.
He stepped out of the SUV, his massive frame towering over me for a brief second before he reluctantly climbed into the back seat.
I sat down next to him, the small space suddenly feeling incredibly cramped with his broad shoulders occupying most of the bench.
Without asking, I took his right wrist, resting his battered hand on my lap. I poured the antiseptic directly over the raw knuckles.
He didn’t even flinch. He didn’t hiss, didn’t wince, he just kept his eyes fixed on my face as I carefully began wrapping the white gauze around his hand, securing the split skin.
"Wait here," I said abruptly as I finished tucking the edge of the tape down. "I forgot something."
He looked utterly confused, his dark eyes tracking me as I slid out of the back seat.
But instead of walking back toward the chemist, I marched straight up to the driver’s side, climbed in, and instantly hit the central locking button. The sharp click echoed through the car.
Through the rearview mirror, I watched Ren’s jaw drop. "What... are you doing?"
"Driving, of course," I said, adjusting the mirrors and slotting the key into the ignition.
"Lumi, unlock the doors. I can drive fine with one hand."
"You have an injury because you decided to have a wrestling match with a brick wall," I countered, putting my foot on the brake. "I am perfectly fine. So, I am driving."
Ren leaned forward, his massive chest pressing against the gap between the two front seats.
"I should be the one taking care of you." The words were spoken with such a quiet, heavy sincerity that my hand froze on the gear shift.
I raised a questioning eyebrow at his reflection in the mirror, my heart doing a strange, erratic little dance.
Taking care of me? In what capacity?
Ren must have realized how intimate the statement sounded in the quiet car, because he quickly cleared his throat, his gaze shifting slightly to the side.
"Neve asked me to take care of you," he corrected, his voice dropping an octave. "That’s what I meant."
I let out a slow, quiet breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. For a split second there, I thought he meant something entirely different.
"Well, Neve isn’t here," I said, shifting the SUV into drive. "And I should be the one taking care of you. Lest you forget, I’m the older one here."
He raised a dark brow, a sudden, unexpected glint appearing in his eyes. "No one would ever believe that."
I paused, looking at him through the mirror in utter surprise. "Did you... did you just crack a joke?"
He shrugged, completely unbothered, leaning back against the rear headrest. "I’ve always cracked jokes. I don’t know what you mean."
I managed a small, nostalgic nod as I pulled the vehicle out into the London traffic.
"Yes, you used to. The Ren I knew seven years ago used to be exactly like that, but..." I caught myself before I could dig up too much of the past and quickly pivoted.
"Should we visit a restaurant first before we go to the park, or do you want to see the gardens first?"
"They don’t sell food close to the park?" he asked.
"They do," I replied, glancing back at him. "But it’s a small, local pie and mash shop. Very traditional, very basic. I’m not entirely sure a big American biker would care for it."
"Have you eaten there? Is it okay?"
"Yes, it’s actually very good."
"Then I’ll like it," he said simply.
I raised my brows but decided not to argue. Ren didn’t wait for me to unlock the doors; he unbuckled, moved with surprising agility for his size, and climbed over the console into the passenger seat beside me, settling into the leather with a low grunt.
.....
I parked the SUV a short walk from the small, steam-windowed eatery near the edge of Regent’s Park.
We bought our food in cardboard takeaway containers and walked over to a quiet bench just inside the park gates, away from the main path.
I opened my container of hot, savory pie drenched in traditional liquor sauce, but my attention was entirely focused on Ren.
I kept my face turned away slightly, hiding my smile as I watched him take his first massive bite.
This specific meal used to be one of our absolute favorites years ago. Back home, whenever we would sneak away from the chaos of our lives, we used to visit a tiny, rundown diner that served something identical.
Ren would always eat two whole portions back then, entirely unbothered by how messy it was.
Watching him eat it now, with the exact same unhurried enthusiasm, made something ache beautifully in my chest.
His tastes hadn’t changed. The leather jacket and the tattoos might have been a new armor, but underneath it all, the boy from seven years ago was still hiding.
It reminded me so vividly of the past, of just how close we used to be before everything fell apart.
When we finished, we tossed the containers into a bin and began walking slowly toward the center of the park, heading for the rose gardens.
The afternoon air was crisp, the pale sunlight filtering through the bare branches of the trees.
To break the quiet, I decided to bring up the music link he had sent me. "Your taste in music has changed," I murmured, wrapping my coat tighter around myself.
"I was honestly surprised that you listen to artists like Tatiana."
Ren paused mid-stride, looking down at me. "How do you know what else I listen to?"
"Because of the radio in the car," I explained, gesturing back toward the SUV.
"When you turned it on, your choices weren’t so bad. I didn’t expect that." Ren’s lips twitched. He looked straight ahead, a low rumble vibrating in his chest.
"Were you expecting me to have such a horrible taste in music as someone else?"
The exact phrasing, the dry, mocking tilt of his voice...it was a direct mirror of an argument we had had a lifetime ago when I had criticized his old garage-rock playlists.
My eyes popped wide open, and my mouth slacked in disbelief.
"Did you just insult my taste in music?" I gasped, stopping dead on the path.
He didn’t stop walking, but as he turned his head to look back at me, the corners of his mouth lifted.
A genuine, unmistakable smile broke across his rugged features, softening the harsh lines of his jaw and making his dark eyes instantly brilliant.
This wasn’t a force grin, this was ren smiling widely.
I froze entirely. My breath caught in my throat.
"What?" Ren asked, stopping a few feet ahead and raising a brow at my expression.
"Did you... did you just smile?" I whispered, pointing a finger at him.
He immediately schooled his features back into a hard, unreadable mask, turning his head away. "No."
"You did! I saw you, Ren, I’m not blind!" I started walking faster, a sudden, bubbly laugh escaping my chest.
It felt so incredibly foreign, so light, to laugh after everything that had happened. I pointed at him again, practically vibrating with excitement.
"You just smiled!"
"No, I didn’t," he muttered, though there was a distinct softness in his voice now. "And why are you acting like it’s a bloody eclipse?"
"Because it is!" I laughed, stepping in front of him to block his path. I was entirely caught up in the thrill of breaking through his icy exterior.
"I just made the terrifying Ren smile! Everyone!" I joked, turning my head toward the empty park path as if I were about to yell it to the world. "Everyone, look! He..."
Before the words could fully leave my mouth, Ren moved.
He didn’t just step forward, he lunged. The explosive force of his movement caught me completely unaware. My boots slipped slightly on the damp grass at the edge of the path, and I felt my balance completely vanish.
I started to fall backward, but Ren’s left hand shot out like lightning. He caught me firmly, his massive arm wrapping around my waist to hold me up and stop me from hitting the ground.
The impact of my body hitting his solid chest sent a jolt straight down my spine, and our eyes locked instantly.
Our eyes locked instantly.
The laughter died in my throat, replaced by a sudden, suffocating heat.
The park, the cold air...everything disappeared. There was only the feeling of his hand holding my waist, and the heavy thudding of his heart beneath my palms, which had instinctively landed on his chest.
Ren didn’t let go. I knew I should pull away from his hold, but the intense look on his face made my brain freeze completely. I couldn’t move. For a stupid reason, I didn’t want to.
His dark eyes went straight to my lips
I didn’t know if it was my imagination but I could swear I saw his face move an inch closer.
Clap. Clap. Clap.
"Interesting." The slow, sarcastic sound of hands smacking together cut through the quiet air.
My eyes snapped open, and every ounce of warmth in my body instantly disappeared. My blood froze solid in my veins.
I recognized that voice. What...
