The classroom was no refuge.
No one outright harmed me, but no one welcomed me either. In this square, confined space, I was an island.
What really made me want to die wasn’t the whispers or the stares. It was the fact that the bread I’d been choking down for weeks—the one I had chewed until I was sick of it—had suddenly appeared in front of me again.
Lunchtime.
Go Yohan, once again, was the culprit.
"You like this, don’t you?"
Is he mocking me? What the hell is this? My blood boiled.
Why did I keep eating that bread for weeks? Who do you think made me do it? The intent behind giving me that bread was utterly vile.
The classroom was empty. My desk partner was, of course, nowhere to be seen. Which meant I was forced to face Go Yohan directly.
I didn’t even want to eat that dry, sponge-like bread. I glanced at it briefly, then answered.
"No."
"You’re lying again."
Why does he act like he knows everything? It pissed me off—this feeling of being forcibly denied.
Go Yohan picked up the bread I had pushed away and slowly peeled off the wrapper. Just like before.
"I brought this for you so you can eat something good, you know?"
A quiet breath. He leaned against my desk. The hand holding the chocolate bread inched closer to my face. The suffocatingly sweet scent hit me hard.
I refused to lift my head.
Who knows what he did to that bread? Messing with someone’s food was one of the oldest bullying tactics in the book. I couldn’t eat it.
But that must have irritated him.
"Hey."
"......."
"Are you ignoring someone’s kindness?"
A gentle threat. His words were laced with barbs.
I suppressed the urge to stand up and punch him in the face. Instead, I ignored him.
"Ah, what the fuck. That hurts, you know?"
He let out a laugh—half mocking, half amused.
As if he was pretending to be hurt.
But the way he spoke carried an unmistakable undercurrent of you don’t matter enough to actually hurt me.
Shit.
I dug in my heels, refusing to react.
Leave me alone. Just go away already.
I screamed the words inside my head over and over, but Go Yohan was always, always Go Yohan.
"Oh well. If you don’t want it, I guess I’ll have to throw it away."
His slender fingers uncurled in front of me.
The crumpled plastic wrapper flattened noisily.
The chocolate bread, now unsupported, tilted.
It was an intentional movement.
Thud.
The bread landed squarely on my workbook.
"Right?"
"......."
Fucking bastard.
I stared at my workbook, now smeared with chocolate, and closed my eyes.
The overwhelming sweetness invaded my senses, making me feel sick.
When I opened my eyes again, reality hadn’t changed. My workbook was still ruined, covered in chocolate.
Damn it. I couldn’t take it anymore.
"Hey, what the hell are you doing?"
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I didn’t answer him.
I simply grabbed the workbook from my desk and stood up.
I didn’t look back as I walked between the rows of desks.
As I passed the back of the classroom, I spotted the trash can near the mirror.
"What are you doing?!"
I threw the workbook straight into the trash.
When I raised my head, my reflection stared back at me.
Kang Jun always keeps his expression composed.
My face didn’t betray a single weakness.
Even though I was still shaken by Go Yohan.
Even though a single word from him was enough to kill me inside.
My face revealed nothing.
Good. Keep it up, Kang Jun.
No sadness. No anger.
Kang Jun calmly reached for the back door of the classroom.
Just walk out. That’s what you need to do.
Then, my eyes met those of Lee Seokhyun and Kim Seokmin, who were standing outside the classroom.
"......."
I don’t think I’ve ever felt more humiliated in my life.
Their unreadable eyes locked onto mine, and I immediately tried to get away.
Tried to.
"Where do you think you’re going?"
A firm grip seized my shoulder.
A strong hand wrenched me backward.
Shit.
My weak body couldn’t withstand Go Yohan’s strength.
I spun back against my will and was dragged back into the classroom.
The force of it ripped one of my shirt buttons off, exposing my shoulder.
"......Ah."
I couldn’t leave, no matter how much I wanted to.
Because I had a useless, pathetic body that moved however Go Yohan wanted it to.
When it came to strength, I was always the weak one.
My face burned with shame.
I hastily clutched my torn shirt, dropping my head and biting my lip.
Shit.
A long hand reached over my shoulder.
I flinched instinctively at the sudden movement.
The hand that passed over my shoulder stirred the air.
Bang.
The classroom door slammed shut.
Even then, I forced myself to hold my head high, pretending I wasn’t rattled.
I fought to the very last moment.
Go Yohan slowly closed his eyes, then opened them again.
He bit down on his lip—just like me.
Then, he grabbed my shoulder again.
His long fingers dug into my skin, strong enough to leave marks.
Then, as if urging me, he shook me back and forth.
"I asked you where the fuck you were going."
"......."
"When someone talks to you, you’re supposed to fucking answer."
"......."
"Why the fuck are you ignoring me when I’m talking to you?"
You were the one who ignored me first.
I braced myself, keeping my stance as solid as I could.
The force of his grip rocked my body. I instinctively took a step forward to keep my balance.
A survival instinct—just to avoid falling.
The moment I moved, Go Yohan’s hand suddenly stopped shaking me.
That was my chance.
I twisted my body sharply, yanking my shoulder free.
Go Yohan’s claw-like fingers slid off my skin.
"Huh."
I think I heard him make a short noise.
I immediately stepped backward. Just in case he tried to grab me again.
I had to choose my words carefully.
I couldn’t fall into Go Yohan’s trap.
That bastard was constantly thinking of ways to drag me down.
I didn’t know how he’d betray me—no, he had already betrayed me.
Just like Han Taesan, I could end up like that too.
I couldn’t let him see me as weak.
Even if that wasn’t the case, I had to defend myself as much as I could.
I tapped my fingers against my thigh.
I had to answer carefully.
"This is over now, isn’t it?"
In the end, I made the pathetic choice.
I could never rise above Go Yohan.
So I flattened myself to the ground.
I glanced behind me. Through the frosted glass, two vague silhouettes loomed. My voice dropped to a whisper in an instant.
"......What?"
"It’s over. For you."
I got it. So just leave it at this. Don't drag this out any further.
Please.
Being ignored was better than being tormented. That was the best outcome I could hope for.
"I thought it meant we’d go back to being strangers."
So don’t mess with me anymore.
I won’t pay any unnecessary attention to you either. I’ll keep my distance. I’ll erase myself from your life.
Just like I erased Han Junwoo.
If I could cut off Han Junwoo after suffering for a year and a half, cutting off Go Yohan after only six months should be easy.
"I’m begging you, just stop picking fights with me. Please. Can’t I just keep my head down and live quietly?"
"......Ha!"
Go Yohan, who had been silently listening, suddenly let out a dry laugh.
He didn’t look amused.
It was a laugh of disbelief, of sheer exhaustion.
Seeing the strange, twisted smile on his face, I caught a glimpse of an advantage.
I never expected to win against Go Yohan.
I just wanted to finish the rest of my school life in peace.
I wracked my brain for a way to make sure Go Yohan wouldn’t keep tormenting me.
It was better to be ignored than to become a target of ridicule. If I could just maintain the status quo, all I had to do was survive for another six months.
I spoke again, this time checking over my shoulder once more.
The two figures were still behind the door.
How long were those bastards planning to stand there?
Fuck.
I lowered my voice until it was barely audible outside.
"You know I piss you off."
So just leave me alone.
If you stop acting like this, I’ll figure out a way to survive on my own.
Just like I always have.
"I already understand what you want. I’ll stay out of your way and shut my mouth. Is that what you want?"
The words came out sharp, laced with sarcasm before I could stop them.
Even in this situation, my pride refused to die.
Go Yohan should have been pissed off by my tone.
But he said nothing.
Just answer me, damn it.
My toes curled inside my socks.
Then, I heard footsteps shifting outside the door.
Go Yohan silently ran a finger across his forehead.
While my attention was briefly distracted, he grabbed the chair next to him.
Why?
What the hell was he—
Crash.
Go Yohan threw the chair to the floor.
"......."
The deafening noise made me flinch.
My attention snapped back forward.
The kids outside must have heard that.
Not that Go Yohan would care.
Even now, he smirked, his lips quirking in an odd, trembling way.
The unsettling expression sent a chill down my spine.
Before I knew it, my hands clenched the hem of my shirt tightly.
After letting out a slow breath, Go Yohan lifted his head.
"Ah, I get it."
What?
"You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?"
"......."
"Yeah. That’s it. You’re doing this on purpose."
"......What do you mean, ‘on purpose’?"
Go Yohan pointed a finger at me and laughed again, backing away a few steps.
Then, his hand went to his neck.
Then to his forehead.
He raked his fingers through his hair, pushing it back.
But his gaze—his gaze was still locked onto me, filled with a knowing look.
"You really know how to fuck with people, huh? Shit, this is crazy."
"What are you talking about? I never fucked with you."
"Then what the fuck do you call what you’re doing right now?!"
Go Yohan suddenly shouted.
My eyes widened in shock.
I instinctively turned toward the door.
The dark silhouettes were still there.
Fuck.
I frowned.
Who the hell are you to say that?
Lowering my voice as much as I could, I snapped, "Keep your voice down. There are other people outside."
"You? You’re worried about people hearing?"
Go Yohan took a step forward.
A huge shadow fell over my face.
"Right now, you?"
"......Yeah. So can you please just talk quietly?"
Go Yohan laughed again.
From above, he looked down at me with that eerie smirk.
"Even now, you still care what people think."
"......."
"In this situation, of all things... those bastards out there are more important than me, huh?"
His dark expression was filled with nothing but derision.
"Kang Jun."
"......."
Fuck.
That name again.
Kang Jun. Kang Jun. Kang Jun!
I glared at him like I wanted to kill him.
The resentment burned hot inside me.
How could he flip everything upside down so easily?
Was I really that easy to toy with?
I wanted to scream at him.
But my pride wouldn’t let me.
If I heard the answer to that question, I knew I’d break down and cry in front of him.
And I couldn’t let that happen.
"Tell me the truth."
Go Yohan, still oblivious to my real thoughts, continued speaking in that mocking tone.
"Honestly, you want to be close with me again, don’t you?"
"......."
"This situation scares you, but your pride won’t let you back down, right?"
My heart dropped to the floor.
I forgot what I was about to say and just opened and closed my mouth like a fish.
No. No, I can’t react like this.
Better to be speechless than to look like an idiot.
I quickly shut my mouth and glared at him instead.
"Pity. You only need to bend a little."
Seeing me stay silent, Go Yohan must have thought he’d won.
The corner of his trembling lips curled up naturally.
He leaned down slightly, looking me straight in the eye as he shamelessly said,
"I knew I was right."
I was trapped—squeezed between Go Yohan’s oppressive presence in front of me and the unsettling pressure of the two people lurking behind the door.
I couldn’t let this be the end.
I had to throw down my last card before Go Yohan could toy with me any further.
I lowered my voice.
So that no one could hear—no one but him.
"No."
Still.
I could almost hear Go Yohan freezing in place.
"Honestly, I don’t get it."
Slowly, I lifted my head.
To show him my face.
My perfectly composed, utterly unchanged face.
My stubborn pride held my neck straight.
That too, was my sickness.
"You were the one who said this was over, weren’t you? So why are you the one clinging like this? You’re the one acting like you regret it."
Go Yohan’s mouth snapped shut.
For once, his expression looked blank.
And in that moment—I saw my opening.
With Go Yohan momentarily frozen, I spun around.
I had to escape before he could grab me.
My retreating figure was probably even more pathetic than I imagined.
But that was better than getting caught.
When I opened the door, I saw Lee Seokhyun and Kim Seokmin practically pressed against the window.
Fucking idiots.
I swept my gaze over them from head to toe before quickly stepping out into the hallway.
Even as I walked away, my cowardice gnawed at me.
What if Go Yohan chased after me?
The thought terrified me, so I picked up the pace.
I forced my injured foot to move, nearly stumbling forward.
"......Shit."
If he caught me—what would he say?
What kind of accusations would he throw at me?
The idea alone was unbearable.
Was I afraid of falling?
Or was I more afraid of Go Yohan’s words?
Even that, I couldn’t decide.
I worried that my awkward, stumbling gait made me look ridiculous, but I still couldn’t slow down.
Then, as I reached the end of the hallway, I found myself glancing back.
Just in case.
Just in case he was there.
"......."
But Go Yohan wasn’t.
He hadn’t followed me.
Suddenly, the tension drained from my body.
Fucking idiot, Kang Jun.
Making a big deal over nothing.
I stood there, staring at the empty hallway.
Then, without thinking, I caught sight of my own reflection in the window.
The Kang Jun in the glass—
He looked sad.
The second I saw it, my hand curled into a fist.
If I’d been holding something, I might have thrown it through the window and shattered the damn thing.
I didn’t want to see that pathetic face.
I turned away.
I just needed to get out of here.
I headed for the stairs—anywhere but here.
But then, a familiar face came into view.
Shin Jaehyun.
Lucky bastard.
Or maybe unlucky bastard.
He was climbing the stairs when he lifted his head and saw me.
"Oh?"
"......."
Guess I’m the unlucky one.
Fuck, I have the worst luck.
"......Shit."
I gripped the railing, trying to walk past him.
Out of all things to get caught for, why this?
Fuck this.
But what pissed me off even more—
Was what Shin Jaehyun said as I walked past.
Quietly, like he really meant it.
"Did you... cry?"
"No!"
The response shot out of me instantly.
I stopped in my tracks and practically shouted.
Then, I squeezed my eyes shut.
Shit. Shit. Fucking embarrassing.
I wanted to tumble down the stairs and just die.
Now I really looked like someone who had been crying.
And it was all because of him.
Damn it.
"I didn’t cry."
The Kang Jun in the window hadn’t shed a single tear.
So why the hell did Shin Jaehyun think I did?
I forced a natural smile and wiped a dry cheek.
Nothing.
It was dry as hell.
Definitely not tears.
I had to cover my mistake.
I had to salvage this.
"You must have imagined it. I wasn’t crying."
"Sorry."
Shin Jaehyun looked genuinely apologetic as he let go of my arm.
"Yeah... guess you weren’t."
"Thanks for checking, but can I go now?"
"Want me to help you walk?"
"I said I’m fine. Just go."
"I’ll help you."
"I said no."
Irritation flared inside me.
He was stepping over a boundary I had clearly drawn.
I held up a hand and frowned slightly.
But despite my rejection, he took another step closer and grabbed my arm again.
Positive idiot. Clueless LA bastard.
Now I understood why people called him that.
Just look at him. No sense of awareness whatsoever.