And then, my gaze met Go Yohan’s eyes. His eyes were red, his face wet with tears.
When did Go Yohan start crying?
"...Do you even realize what you’ve done?"
Go Yohan glared at me.
It was the first time I had ever seen him cry. The moment I saw his tears, I couldn’t even bring myself to say his name. Just uttering it felt like it would shake that dazzling, sorrowful despair. It was too much—an overflowing cascade of emotions that I couldn't possibly withstand.
It felt like I would drown in it, that a single drop added to the weight of that water would be enough to submerge me completely, to kill me.
And that was when I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt.
Even if I couldn't understand the humiliation he felt, I could at least understand the resentment he held toward me.
"Do you even know what you did!"
The flood of emotions pressed down on me.
Go Yohan sat up and reached out. His long fingers brushed against my arm. It was just the faintest touch, but it sent a sharp jolt through my nerves.
But my guilt and what was happening right now were two separate things.
Realizing what had just been happening to me, I quickly turned away, my face burning, and shot up from the floor. I had to get out of here. I had to get away from this situation no matter what.
"Okay, okay, I get it, so please..."
A situation I had never experienced before was making me uneasy. I needed time—to sort through this, to process everything that had just happened.
"L-let go."
The moment I said it, I regretted it. Maybe it was the lingering attachment I had to Go Yohan despite my guilt and his resentment.
Maybe it was the part of me that always wanted to avoid being hated, the last line of defense I had, that made me weak even when I didn’t want it to.
"No, you don’t understand."
"...Ah!"
Go Yohan suddenly yanked my arm, pulling me down. My body hit the floor with a dull thud. My pathetic attempt at escape had failed, just like that.
I didn’t even register the pain in my tailbone.
I lifted my head and found myself unable to look away from Go Yohan. His face was covered in tears, twisted with an expression that was somewhere between laughter and a sneer. His grip on my arm was tight, suffocating.
His cold eyes made me feel like I was burning alive.
I wanted to run.
I struggled to shake him off, twisting my body.
"You don’t know anything about me."
"Aagh!"
Pain ripped through me, forcing out a scream.
It hurt.
It hurt so fucking much.
Tears welled up in my eyes from the unbearable pain. A low groan escaped my clenched teeth, but Go Yohan, still kneeling on the floor, only tightened his grip and pulled harder.
Staring straight into my eyes, he spoke, enunciating every word.
"Don’t even think about running. If you leave, you’re finished."
His lips were bitten to the point of bleeding as he spoke.
Finished?
The worst part was that I understood exactly what he meant.
I knew all too well what Go Yohan was threatening me with.
He was making a deal with his own power, using it as leverage.
His words, his expression—this wasn’t some reckless bluff.
It was real.
And the worst part was, it was working.
I swallowed hard.
Go Yohan, his lips bruised and bloody, spat out his next words.
"You’re going to regret this."
"...What the hell are you going to do?"
Even now, I was bluffing.
Even though my lips trembled violently, I forced myself to smirk.
"What?"
For a moment, Go Yohan just stared at me, dumbfounded.
Like he hadn’t expected me to say that.
Then—
"Ah," he exhaled, and his lips curled into a bizarre smile.
It was twisted.
Something about it was completely wrong.
An uneasy feeling crept over me.
"What the fuck are you laughing at?"
"It’s just... you’re so easy to read."
Go Yohan’s shoulders shook with laughter.
A sickening, ominous sound.
"You’re scared of me, aren’t you?"
He said it like it was obvious.
Like it was the simplest truth in the world.
"Like hell I am, you—!"
"Yeah? That so? But you’re always calculating, playing your little hierarchy games."
"Shut the fuck up. Keep your mouth shut."
"Keep my mouth shut? Damn, that’s harsh. But I’m right, aren’t I?"
"Agh...!"
Go Yohan yanked my arm even harder.
The force was so intense I thought my arm might snap.
My entire body lurched forward, thrown off balance.
Tears still clung to his face, but he looked down at me with nothing but amusement.
"You’re scared. You’re afraid I’ll ruin you. That I’ll turn you into a complete fucking joke at school."
"That’s not—! Nngh! Ahhh!"
"You’ve got a smart little head on your shoulders, so think about it. You’re below me, remember?"
His snake-like eyes glistened with fresh tears.
Why the hell was he crying while saying all this?
And why the fuck was he still smirking?
The contradiction in his expression sent a shiver through me.
At the same time, his blatant taunts made my blood boil.
My face burned.
Fucking bastard.
"Just because you have a mouth doesn’t mean you have to spew bullshit. You fucking psycho—! Ahhh!"
"Shut up."
Shhh—
Go Yohan’s voice trembled slightly, his throat tight with emotion.
His long fingers pressed against my lips.
Even as he cried, even as his tears fell, he covered my mouth and whispered,
"You’re too fucking loud right now."
My eyes widened in shock, like I’d been burned.
And then—
I looked at the door.
Shit.
Shit.
I’d been yelling this whole time.
I quickly lowered my voice, my nerves focused entirely on the door.
Had anyone outside heard?
I was panicking.
And that was my mistake.
"You coward."
Maybe—
Maybe this was his trap.
That thought crossed my mind a second too late.
The moment I lost focus, Go Yohan yanked my arm again, throwing me beneath him.
Even as I fell, I instinctively clamped my mouth shut, trying not to make a sound.
That was the wrong move.
Because with my hands restrained, I had no way to break my fall.
My forehead crashed straight into his thigh.
My face was completely crushed against him, knocking the wind out of me.
For a split second, I thought, if I had landed any differently, I might’ve lost a tooth.
The smell of him filled my nose, snapping me back to reality.
I tried to lift my head.
Tried.
"Look at that. Even when you fall, you end up right here."
Go Yohan’s large hand pressed down on the back of my head.
"Mmpf, mmph!"
Even if I wanted to speak, no words came out. I glared up at Go Yohan, eyes wide with rage, but he only stared back at me, his flushed face unreadable.
Fucking bastard.
Somewhere deep inside me, a raw, burning injustice tried to force my mouth open, but my voice was blocked by the hand running through my hair, tangling in it, yanking it down.
Kneeling halfway, my head pressed between Go Yohan’s legs—I couldn’t see myself, but I knew. I knew exactly how this position looked to him.
Like I was begging for his forgiveness.
And as soon as I realized that, the humiliation outweighed my guilt.
Why?
Why the fuck was this happening to me?
Why was I suddenly being forced into this?
The need to justify myself overpowered the guilt.
People are selfish. Everyone looks out for themselves.
I know I’ve been a bastard, but isn’t that just human nature?
My eyes burned.
The cold air of winter, still lingering outside, slipped in through the torn collar of my shirt. The hand pressing down on my head slowly slid lower, pressing lightly against my exposed back. The weight of it made me gag. My head jerked up involuntarily.
I was trying to hold back my tears.
But a choked sob forced its way through my forcibly parted lips—only for me to freeze at the hot breath against the back of my neck.
I swallowed my shaky breaths, trying desperately not to let him see how fucking scared I was.
And then, I screamed at him.
"Let go. I told you to let go. Let go—let go! I said let go!"
Sniffle.
I heard Go Yohan swallowing down his tears.
But his sniffles didn’t stop.
The more he spoke, the more the crying persisted, a sound so persistent it made me wonder if he was faking it. His voice kept dropping into eerie calmness between the trembling breaths, sending an icy chill through my spine.
"You’re going to run away."
"Then I can’t let you go."
What the fuck do you mean, you can’t?
It was childish—just a brat throwing a tantrum.
But that was the terrifying thing about psychos.
The fact that his mood swings had no logic, no reason—
That scared me more than the calm terror itself.
Go Yohan was a natural at making things dramatic.
I just never imagined I’d be the one caught in his theatrics.
Maybe I had been a little too full of myself.
No, I was full of myself.
"Ugh... hhk..."
Yeah.
My life had never been anything but a disposable hand.
I had never once been anyone’s first choice.
Useful when needed, discarded when inconvenient.
The realization sank in, and the shame of it stung.
Tears pricked at my eyes.
I forced my voice out, pushing through the lump in my throat.
This—this was something I had to ask.
A miracle of words forced out from desperation.
"What... what did I do that was so fucking wrong?"
From Han Junwoo to Go Yohan—
Why do I keep falling for the wrong people?
Do I have no taste in men?
"Why the fuck do I have to go through this—?"
My jaw trembled.
I gritted my teeth, choking down the sobs threatening to spill over.
And above me, Go Yohan received my miserable question with eerie calm.
"You want to know what you did wrong?"
"...Hhk."
"You’re seriously a fucking bastard."
Go Yohan wiped his tears off his arm before continuing.
"How the fuck could you humiliate me like that in front of my father?"
"In front of my family—in front of my sister?"
"Do you think I’m a fucking joke? You treat me well, so I must be an idiot, is that it?"
His voice trembled with anger.
On my back, I felt his clenched fist pressing down.
It hurt.
I instinctively reached up to grab at his hand, trying to pry it off.
It didn’t budge.
I struck his wrist with my other hand.
Useless.
His grip only tightened.
"...Let g—mmpf!"
"Jun-ah."
"Ugh... hhk."
"Do you know how much I’ve done for you?"
The moment I turned my head to speak, a large hand covered my face.
It pressed against my nose and mouth, cutting off my air.
I glared up at Go Yohan, my vision growing hazy.
Through the blurred sight, I saw him tilt his head slightly, the slow movement almost taunting.
Like he was waiting for me to get the message.
Like he wanted me to remember it.
"I made you more valuable than Han Junwoo."
His voice dripped with smug arrogance.
Like a fucking peacock spreading its feathers.
Like he was showing off, boasting.
Like he was proud of it.
And then—he smiled.
A wide, open-mouthed grin.
He gripped my face tighter, ensuring I couldn’t look anywhere else.
"Before, you were always second-tier among those cock-sucking bastards, weren’t you?"
"You always wanted to be first, didn’t you?"
Pfft.
Go Yohan let out a sudden laugh.
At the same time, he wiped his nose with his hand.
At some point, his crying had stopped.
His cheeks, stained with dried tears, were now pale and cold.
"I did all of that for you."
"And what did you do for me?"
"...."
"Say it. What did you do for me?"
Go Yohan shouted.
The sheer force of his voice made my head reel.
It was clear.
He wasn’t in control of himself anymore.
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to escape reality.
Excuses piled up on the tip of my tongue.
Excuses I wasn’t used to making.
Thinking about it now—
My love had always been cowardly but pure.
I just didn’t want you to go hungry.
We ate together for years, didn’t we?
I knew you were greedy with food, even if you never said it outright.
For over a year, I watched you—not always in a good way, but I watched.
That’s why I brought you home with me.
Even if I pretended otherwise, I wanted to take care of you.
I couldn’t let you stay too long because of my parents, but I made sure you could eat, sleep, exist at my house without anyone questioning it.
I’m not a bad person.
Everything I did—
It was for you.
"Ugh... hhk..."
I wanted to explain myself.
But my chest clenched, choking my voice before I could get the words out.
Go Yohan’s hand, no longer gripping my wrist, now cradled my face.
He pushed down, keeping me in place.
I was still kneeling between his legs, my face pressed against his crotch.
Trapped.
And in that humiliating position—
The only words I could manage were a pathetic, tear-filled stammer.
"I-I don’t know what I did w-wrong..."
My muffled sobs shook against the floor.
I wasn’t crying because I regretted it.
I was crying because I hated it.
I hated myself for making Go Yohan suffer.
I hated myself for being in this situation.
I hated him for forcing me into it.
I hated the rank I had to endure, the position I was stuck in.
But most of all—
I hated that I still felt sorry for him.
And yet—
The price of that apology was terrifying.
The hand gripping my face burned hot against my skin.
My face, too, flushed in shame.
I suddenly shoved at Go Yohan’s hand, taking advantage of the momentary looseness in his grip.
It was a chance.
The briefest of openings.
I took it.
And I screamed.
"Fine! I was wrong! I was fucking wrong!"
He couldn't even scream, only letting out a frightened hiss like a cornered wildcat. My gaze was fixed on Yohan, but at the same time, I kept checking the door. Half of my consciousness was searching for any sign of Yohan’s family.
"......."
Then, bang—I heard something collide with force. The sound hadn’t come from here. My breath caught in my throat for a moment. A person? Did someone hear? Were they listening? I flinched violently, my body shrinking in on itself. Seeing my reaction, Yohan slowly opened his mouth.
"Don’t be a fucking coward, dumbass."
"S-Sound... outside, someone..."
"It came from my room. I left the window open."
Once again, he sounded strangely gentle. I cautiously looked up at Yohan.
He moved his thumb, slowly wiping the corner of my eye. Unlike earlier, when he had pressed down mercilessly, this touch was too soft, too careful. The moment his grip loosened, the floodgates burst open. The tight rein on my tear ducts snapped, and hot tears spilled down my face.
I turned my body with all my might. Again, I reached out blindly, grabbing onto anything within reach on the floor. I nearly fell over. Yohan reached out, as if to support me, but I desperately avoided his hand. I managed not to fall, but I lost my balance and staggered.
"Ah, fuck..."
Yohan, having missed his grip on me, immediately shot out his hand again, as if trying to grab hold of me once more. I tried to dodge, but my already ragged shirt ended up in his grasp. Rip. The sound of buttons being torn echoed in the room. In one swift motion, my shirt was ripped open. The tension holding my upper body together gave way, and I collapsed onto the floor in the same desperate struggle to escape Yohan.
"......!"
Then, something light fell into my hand. I didn't let go. I didn't care what it was. As long as it could get me out of this situation, anything would do. I swung it toward Yohan’s head as he approached.
Thud.
With a heavy sound, Yohan’s alarm clock fell to the floor.
"Ah, damn it..."
Holding one side of his head, Yohan lifted his face. He must’ve taken a serious hit—his eyes squinted in pain, and he staggered slightly. This was my chance. I shoved his shoulder and turned my body. Yohan reached out again, but I was lucky this time. He was too slow. His fingers barely brushed against mine before slipping away.
I had to get out of this room before he reached me. I had to get out.
That thought consumed me. I lunged forward, grabbing the doorknob. But before I could open it, I instinctively turned back to check on Yohan. Reflex. A stupid, useless reflex.
He had taken a hard hit. Too hard. That fleeting thought flickered through my mind.
"......."
And that hesitation stopped my feet. Yohan, struggling with dizziness, was leaning against the wall, unable to take a single step. His unsteady gaze flickered between me and the door as he desperately spoke.
"......You’re fucking dead."
"......."
"If you move even one step, I swear to God... I’ll fucking kill you."
This content is taken from freёwebnovel.com.
And yet, I hesitated like an idiot. This pathetic instinct of mine just wouldn’t go away. It had always been my instincts that dragged me into ruin. Yohan, noticing my hesitation, spoke again, his voice edged with urgency.
"Don’t ignore my warning."
Or maybe, in his dazed state, he didn’t even realize what he was saying.
"No. It’s not over. I take it back. No. Just—don’t go."
A strange sense of déjà vu hit me. That warning, stammered out in desperation—I had heard it before. Without realizing it, I instinctively stepped backward. Yohan’s face twisted into something unreadable. But I couldn’t afford to care. I didn’t know what would happen if I stayed. I averted my eyes from his unreadable expression and shut the door.
Yohan’s face disappeared behind the bottom of the door.
I stumbled down the stairs in a panic. Sprinting toward the front door, I suddenly ran into Yohan’s younger sister, Go Rosah, as she stepped out of her room.
Shit.
I had been running too fast—I almost collided with her. She held an empty cup in her hand, her eyes widening as she slowly took in my appearance.
"......."
"......."
Disheveled hair. A torn shirt. Even a middle schooler at the top of a prestigious academy would immediately understand what this meant. No—was she in high school now? I had aged a year.
Instinctively, I scanned Rosah’s expression. It wasn’t good. My mind went blank. I was fucked.
I hurriedly tried to fix my clothes, smoothing my hair in a desperate attempt to look normal. I even forced a casual smile.
But Rosah’s expression only grew more serious. Her fingers lifted slightly, slowly pointing at my shoulder.
"Your shoulder..."
"Ah, th-this?"
I fumbled with my wrinkled shirt, pulling it up higher.
"...Got hurt somehow."
"Ah."
Rosah’s eyes narrowed. Her small lips parted slightly, then closed, then parted again.
Seeing that hesitation firsthand sent me into full-blown panic.
What do I do? What do I do?
My mind short-circuited.
What was she about to ask? How should I respond? My brain churned like a trash bin overflowing with mixed-up scraps—no, worse, like a dumpster full of rotting food. And the answer it spat out was absurdly normal.
"I’m heading home, Rosah."
"......."
"This injury—your brother and I just had a little fight. That’s all. I just got in a bad mood, that’s all. It’s nothing. Really. Don’t worry about it. I’m going now. Bye."
In that mess of thoughts, Rosah finally spoke.
"I’ll open the door for you."
"......."
"Just go."
With her usual blank expression, she scanned me up and down. My face burned with embarrassment. I hurriedly dropped my hands to cover myself, but the gesture felt utterly pathetic.
Rosah turned away indifferently, unlocking the front door.
I couldn’t even glance at her.
She opened the door for me and walked off toward wherever she had originally been heading, completely unbothered. Her movements were unhurried and graceful.
And at that moment, I caught the scent of a heavy, middle-aged man’s cologne.
"......!"
Terror shot through me. I bolted out the door.
Even after I left the house, even as I ran across the yard, even as I sprinted down the road toward my own home—I couldn’t stop. I ran like a madman, my breath clawing at my throat, my heart pounding so hard it felt like it might explode.
When I finally reached my house, I threw open the gate, slammed it shut, locked it, and collapsed onto the ground.
I had only run a short distance, yet my ragged breath filled the space around me, the thudding of my heart ringing in my ears.
A trembling voice, stuttering to match my heartbeat, grew louder and louder in my head.
"He’s... weird."
"Kang Jun, be careful."
Beware of Go Yohan.
In the chaos of my mind, Han Taesan’s voice became painfully clear.
No. No. That’s impossible.
I shook my head. I needed time to process what had just happened. There was no way this was happening to me. No way this was real. It had to be my imagination.
No matter what, Yohan wouldn’t do something like that.
It was all a misunderstanding.
But the worst part of being a high school student—no matter how much disaster loomed over your head, you still had to go to school the next morning.