Drive me Wild, Rival(BL)

Chapter 138: The Coping Mechanism

Alaric

​Harold had been right all along.

​And while I was still reeling from the memory of the past two years spent talking to him, my eyes caught a movement.

Right there, standing directly behind Nico’s shoulder, Harold was waving at me.

​I blinked hard, completely shocked to see him standing in the open air like that. But there he was. He was wearing the bright red suit, smiling and waving his hand at me.

For the first time, I noticed a detail I had somehow missed before: he had a smooth racing helmet perched on his head. He wasn’t just wearing any random red outfit; it was a miniature, perfectly tailored racing suit, looking exactly like the childhood teddy bear Nico had just described to me.

​Why didn’t I have a single memory of owning that teddy bear? I couldn’t help but wonder how such an important piece of my childhood had completely disappeared from my head.

It was terrifying to realize how much of my own life was a blank space.

​"What the hell are you staring at?" Nico asked, his voice breaking through my thoughts as he quickly looked behind his own shoulder. He turned back around, a suspicious look in his eyes. "Is there something on my back?"

​I let out a heavy sigh, tearing my gaze away from the empty air behind him and looking back toward the open sea. "I have no memory of that moment," I began, a deep weight settling into my chest.

​Before I could even process that, Harold casually walked over, appeared right beside me on the sand, and sat down.

I tried everything I could to ignore him, keeping my eyes fixed on the water, but he kept waving a hand directly in front of my face, aggressively trying to get my attention.

​Unable to take the sensory overload any longer, I snapped. I looked directly at the empty space beside me and let my frustration boil over.

​"What do you want from me?" I demanded out loud. "Yes, I just found out the truth! And I have absolutely no memory of it, so what the hell am I supposed to do about it now?"

​Nico cleared his throat loudly. "Uhm... I am right here," he said, waving a hand to call for my attention.

But I paid absolutely no attention to him. All of my focus was locked on Harold, desperately trying to figure things out.

​"You realize a little too late," Harold said softly, a slow, knowing smile spreading across his face. "Do you want to know why?"

​"Why?" I yelled at him, completely unbothered by how unhinged I sounded. "Why the hell did you keep it a secret from me all this time? If you knew what you were, why didn’t you just tell me?!"

​Nico stepped back, his eyes wide as he looked between me and the empty patch of sand. "Alaric, seriously, what the hell are you staring at?"

​Harold just chuckled, pointing a finger at Nico. "Tell him," Harold whispered. "Go on, Alaric. Tell him."

​"Are you seriously asking me to tell him?" I asked Harold, my voice raising another octave. "You are not even supposed to exist! So why the hell should I say anything when you don’t even exist?"

​"Uhm... okay, it’s getting really weird now. What is happening with you?" Nico stepped closer to me, bending down and waving his fingers directly in front of my eyes to snap me out of it. "Seriously, Alaric. I know that you might not be really happy to see me right now, or maybe you think our childhood story is just a massive lie. But there is absolutely no need to act like this and pretend that someone is sitting right beside you."

​I glared at Harold, who just shrugged his shoulders casually, completely amused by my misery. I let out a loud, defeated groan before finally turning my face to look up at Nico.

​"Well... the thing is that Harold is here," I stated bluntly.

​The look Nico gave me was exactly what I was expecting anyway. He gave me a deep, questioning look, completely frozen in place, probably wondering if I had finally gone completely crazy.

And honestly, right at that moment, I truly felt like I was losing my mind. I didn’t care if he was furrowing his brows or rolling his eyes at me. I just wanted this chaotic, suffocating feeling to disappear from my head as fast as it possibly could.

​"So..." Nico began after a long, heavy moment of silence, his voice incredibly hesitant. "What you are saying is that someone is right here with you on the beach? Is that what you mean?"

​I nodded slowly.

​"And... it’s Harold?"

​I nodded yet again.

​Nico frowned, staring at me for three seconds before he suddenly burst into loud laughter. He shook his head, holding his stomach. "What the hell have you been doing all these days in isolation that you developed this strange, crazy attitude? Are you trying to prank me?"

​I sighed, running a stressed hand through my blonde hair, feeling the dampness of the sea air. "It’s not a joke, Nico. And if you weren’t so dumb, you should be able to figure out exactly why I am the only one who can see him."

​"Alaric, stop playing around, it’s not funny anymore," Nico said, his laughter dying down as he saw the deadpan expression on my face. "There is literally no one there."

​"I am not joking!" I snapped back. "He is sitting right here, Nico! He is wearing the exact outfit you just described to me—the red racing suit and the helmet! He’s sitting on the sand, smiling, and he literally just told me to say hi to you for him!"

​Nico’s smile completely vanished. He looked at the empty sand beside me, a sudden, heavy realization washing over his face. "Truly... what the heck is actually happening here, Alaric?"

​I looked down at my hands, my chest heaving as the pieces of my psychological brokenness lay bare between us. "I think... I think the accident that happened two years ago created a coping mechanism. My brain created an illusion to try and make me forget the trauma of the crash. It pulled a random, deep memory from my childhood and made Harold my friend to protect me. That’s why I can see him now."

​Harold leaned forward, his voice a quiet chime in my ear. "Seo-jun wrote letters to you. Those letters you got back then were all written by him.’’