Drive me Wild, Rival(BL)

Chapter 128: Questions

Alaric

​I couldn’t get my mind over what he had said, even when we booked a train ride from Osaka to Suzuka for the racing weekend.

The express train cut through the Japanese countryside, the scenery blurring past the glass window in a streak of green and gray, but my thoughts were permanently stuck in that vacant lounge room at the temple.

​Yes, Mom. I am in love with him.

​The admission repeated like a broken record in my head, loud and relentless over the rhythmic clatter of the train tracks.

How could he just carry a massive secret like that inside him and act like everything was normal?

​There were instances when I raised my head to look into his eyes, and instances when he just smiled softly at me, a completely relaxed look on his face that made my blood run hot.

I couldn’t help but wonder why the hell he was hiding it all in.

Why couldn’t he just tell me directly that he was in love with me? Why did he have to confess it to a sleeping version of me in the dark, or whisper it to his mother in a closed room, while leaving me entirely in the dark to guess his intentions?

​We were seated directly opposite each other on the express train, our knees practically brushing in the tight space. Even when I actively tried to avoid his gaze, pretending I was completely fascinated by the boring mountains and buildings rolling past outside, I still felt his lingering gaze on me. It was like a physical weight against my skin, as if he was constantly observing me, watching my every expression, trying to read whatever thoughts were racing through my brain.

​For the first half of the ride, the silence between us stretched out, a thick, suffocating tension that neither of us dared to break. We just continued staring at each other in intervals across the small table.

Finally, Sophia stood up by my side, breaking the spell as she smoothed down her skirt and excused herself to the bathroom.

​The exact second she stepped down the aisle and the automatic doors slid shut behind her, Nico shifted in his seat. He leaned across the table, crossing his arms as he brought his face closer to mine, his sharp eyes locking onto me with a dangerous amount of focus.

​"Is everything alright with you?" Nico asked quietly, tilting his head. "Why are you not looking at me today, Ric? Did what happened back at my grandmother’s ceremony offend you?"

​I scoffed, immediately turning my head back toward the window, still stubbornly refusing to look at him. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to look at his face. It was because I completely couldn’t. I knew him far too well by now, and I knew that the absolute moment my eyes met with his, he was going to make those smooth, perceptive eyes that always managed to see right through me.

If I looked at him for more than two seconds, he would know I was hiding something, and he would make me confess the exact truth I had been suppressing since last night.

​"I’m fine," I muttered, keeping my jaw clenched as I watched the reflection of his smirk in the glass.

​"Right, because you always look out the window like it owes you money when you’re fine," Nico teased, a low chuckle vibrating in his throat. "We will be in Mie Prefecture in less than an hour or so, Alaric. Once we hit the circuit paddock, we might not really see each other until the race ends this weekend. Are you seriously going to ignore me the entire time?"

​"And who says that I am willing to see you anyway?" I asked him, cutting my eyes back to him for a fraction of a second as I scoffed. "I have a race to focus on. I don’t have time to stare at your face."

​Nico faked a dramatic hand over his chest, letting out a soft, exaggerated groan as he slumped against his headrest. "Ouch. Don’t be like that, princess. I know you’re going to miss me the second I put my helmet on. Who else is going to give you a proper challenge on the grid if I’m not around to keep you on your toes?"

​"Shut up, Nico," I snapped, though the sudden, erratic pounding of my heart was making it incredibly difficult to keep my voice steady. "Don’t flatter yourself."

​"Make me," he countered smoothly, a playful, wicked glint appearing in his eyes as he leaned even closer across the small table, his voice dropping into a lower, more intimate tone. "But seriously... you’ve been acting weird since we left the lounge. Are you sure you’re not just curious about what my mother and uncle were saying to me in there?"

​My heart violently stopped, before it started pounding at a terrifying, suffocating speed against my ribs.

A sudden wave of pure panic washed over me, my fingers freezing against my lap. Does he know? I thought frantically, the breath completely trapping itself in my throat. Did he realize I was standing right outside the door? Does he know I heard him admit he loves me?

My mind completely short-circuited as I braced myself for the confrontation, my eyes locking onto his, waiting for the floor to drop out from under me.

​But as I stared at him, the heavy accusation I expected never came. Instead, a thoughtful, slightly teasing smirk remained on his lips.

​"You look like you’ve seen a ghost, Ric," Nico chuckled softly, completely oblivious to the near-fatal heart attack he had just given me. "Relax. I was just wondering... do you actually remember anyone by the name Seo-jun? Have you figured me out yet?’’

​I blinked, the sudden shift in topic catching me completely off guard.

My brows furrowed into a deep, confused frown. "What? No. I don’t remember any ’Seo-jun’ in the past.’’

​Nico hummed, leaning back into his seat and resting his chin in his hand, his eyes scanning my bewildered expression with a knowing look. "Wow. You really have a terrible memory, don’t you? We had actually crossed paths so many times before we officially became rivals on the grid, Alaric. Even during your major accident a few years back... Seo-jun was there."

​My frown deepened, a sudden annoyance flaring up in my chest at the cryptic way he was talking.

Why couldn’t he just tell me everything?

"Nico, don’t play these stupid psychological games with me right now. If you have something to say, just say it.’’

​Nico just smiled, a mysterious, incredibly irritating expression crossing his handsome features as he shook his head. "No way. I’m not just going to hand you the answers, De Villier. You should figure it out on your own and find out. Let’s see if that brilliant brain of yours can actually connect the dots for once."

​"Nico, I swear to God—" I started, my voice rising in irritation as I prepared to argue and demand a real answer out of him.

​But before I could even finish my sentence, the automatic doors at the end of the carriage whistled open, and Sophia returned down the aisle. She stopped right by our row, her eyes darting between my tense posture and Nico’s relaxed smirk.

​"Is everything alright here?" she asked, raising an eyebrow as she sat back down in her seat. "The energy in this section feels incredibly loud suddenly."

​Nico just chuckled softly, rolling his eyes in amusement as he looked away from me, turning his attention to his phone. "Everything is perfectly fine, Sophia," he said, his voice dripping with mockery. "Someone is just being incredibly grumpy today. But I bet he will be much more than just grumpy once I completely smoke him on the track this weekend." He laughed yet again sounding confident and the sound made my chest tightened with a strange mix of fury and pure attraction.

​I cursed silently under my breath, turning my head back toward the window to stare at my own reflection.

My heart was still recovering from the massive scare he had just given me, but as I clenched my jaw, looking at his reflection smiling in the glass, the reality of the situation settled deep into my bones.

​He was asking if I remembered him by that name—the boy who had watched me from afar, the boy whose mother said I was his idol all those years ago. He was testing me, dropping hints about a past connection I had completely forgotten, all while harboring a massive confession of love that he thought I knew absolutely nothing about.

​I took a deep, quiet breath, my eyes narrowing as the train sped closer and closer to the Suzuka Circuit.

Truly, who was he back then and when had we met?