“Mm... ngh....”
A hand slipped straight into the gap and wrapped my cock over my underwear; my shoulders hunched. With the moan rising from deep in my throat, it was hard to keep his tongue in my mouth.
When I tried to ease the tight seal and pull my head back, he pressed his hips forward as if to say he wouldn’t allow it, hauling me in tight at the waist.
His slick hot tongue retreated, then returned sharp and firm, sliding between my lips. His eyes met mine through narrowed lids, all that boiling heat focused on me.
He kept hitching me closer by the waist, teasing my cock to coax it up, and at the same time spearing his tongue stiff and upright to ravage my mouth—so many kinds of stimulation at once that I caught up fast to the pace of his arousal.
“Ugh... hnn, hm... mm.”
His tongue went in and out with a rhythm that evoked penetration—deliberately, unmistakably meant to evoke penetration—and my cheeks burned hot. At the same time, I couldn’t deny the heat gathering in my penis as it started to swell, satisfyingly hard.
From below to above, above to below, between my legs, deeper and deeper. His hands were rougher than usual as he worked to drag out my excitement.
“Ungh. Hff—ngh....”
I could feel the helplessness in the rough friction of his palm rubbing me below, like he was bursting with a sudden blaze of lust and desperate to unload it on the body in front of him.
I didn’t mind that the excitement leaking past the neat control of reason, restraint, and practiced experience was erratic and undisciplined. There was a petty, secret pleasure in gauging the size of his love by how he lost balance and pattern because of me.
So his hand could move more easily between my legs, clumsy with trying to hold himself down—almost trembling—I lowered my hips and spread my feet wider. From that small movement I became newly aware we were about to have sex, and a shiver snapped at the nape of my neck.
Noticing the amplification of my arousal, his eyes went sleek. He slipped from my mouth, then dotted my lips with short kisses here and there, splicing in scattered words.
“Say it... one more time... for me....”
After covering my upper lip with tight little kisses, he leaned his forehead to mine and rubbed the tips of our noses.
“Say don’t go. Say it bothers you—whoever it is—you don’t want me alone with anyone else.”
“......”
Hearing my own words repeated from his mouth made my gaze skitter with embarrassment. It struck me as odd that I was more mortified by what I’d said than by the way his hand was fondling my cock inside my pants.
“Hnn... mmf....”
When I dodged answering and looked away, the hand stroking my cock turned more blatant. His mouth drifted over the bridge of my nose and my cheek and drowned my ear with hot breath, blurring my consciousness.
“Tell me you want to keep me apart from the world... that you want to have me all to yourself.”
“You... wouldn’t hate that, something like that.”
I bit my lip and let it go to manage that much, and he gave a thin laugh at my ear. A self-mocking laugh.
“Why would I hate it.”
“......”
“I want to do that to you, Seo Ihyeon. Why would I hate it when it’s the other way around.”
His face was all knotted up, like he was in pain—arousal and lust tangled with an extreme, mental need.
Maybe the possessive words he wanted to hear from me... were the words he wanted to say to me.
While I searched his face with that thought, his hand withdrew from my fly. With no answer from me, he pushed his impatience onto me. This time he shoved a hand into my underwear from behind, yanked my body tight to his, and rubbed with his whole frame.
His sinuous, sensual body cinched me in and locked me in his arms. The solid breadth of his shoulders and chest and arms; the hot spring of his hard cock. The sexiness running off that body built for sex felt raw and vivid even with our clothes on.
“Say it. Say you want me as much as I want you. Say it’s the same. Say you won’t dodge....”
It wasn’t that I lacked that kind of desire, like he feared, that I was slow to answer.
Facing that big body, hugging back just as tight, I wriggled inside the circle of his arms and rubbed my body on his. I could be bold, honest. Now it wasn’t so hard.
“I want you... so much it feels strange how stubborn and childish I’m being... I want you a lot too, Director.”
“......”
As if he’d heard something unbelievable, he searched my face, tracing every inch with his eyes, then covered my mouth with his. Unlike the hand working between my legs until his wide shoulders heaved up and down, the kiss was slow, deliberate.
He sucked at my lower lip, tugged it, and let it go soft; the sensation made the tender flesh ache. An erotic hum spilled out of me on its own. The kisses raining on my face were tender enough to tickle; the hands rubbing and grabbing and shaking between my legs were rough enough to be rude.
The difference was so stark it felt like two different people were touching my top and bottom—but this was his way, and I knew no other way than his; I had nothing to compare it to.
“Inside... you’re soaked all the way through.”
He whispered it low at my ear like it was a precious secret. I sighed like I was going to melt under the sweet, hot breath and slid my hand into my underwear where he guided me.
“Mm... ah.”
It was wet enough to make me jolt. Exaggerating a little, it was so drenched I wondered if I’d peed by mistake, not leaked pre-cum. But the viscous fluid clinging and stretching between our fingers was from too much sexual arousal.
It was a mystery of the body I hadn’t known back when my sex life was nothing but straightforward masturbation. Lately there were times like this when a lot of fluid secreted. Since it was as good as proof of arousal, he seemed quietly pleased whenever it happened, but I still felt... a little shy.
But even that was only a light pang after sex ended; I didn’t mind confirming my excitement as a physical thing, or how it spurred him, made him wilder. I was changing, moving away from the person I used to be.
He bent his head deep and pressed his mouth to my nape. His lips slid in a brush, then he bit down hard.
“Ha—ah, ngh....”
His hand over mine moved faster and faster. The pleasure of rubbing my soaked crotch together with him made my hips jerk. Between wet skin and palm, a sticky friction sounded, evocative of penetration. His teeth worried my nape like they’d break skin, but it thrilled more than it hurt.
“What am I supposed to do with you being this dirty....”
He meant it; {N•o•v•e•l•i•g•h•t} real worry shaded the voice. A sigh like frustration sank onto my nape.
“Lately I think about you even when I’m working.”
“......”
“Over thirty... and all I’ve got in my head all day is sex—do you know how pathetic that makes me feel?”
As if I wanted him to do his work badly because he was thinking of me.
Startled by my own secret heart—like I wanted him useless with thoughts of me—I tried to lean away, but I couldn’t.
His other hand, the one around my waist, rubbed my lips. There was no pressure, but my mouth slid this way and that under his moving fingers.
“Here....”
The hand that had swept my nape like a clutch scraped a nipple through my T-shirt.
“And here....”
The hand that overlapped mine inside my underwear stroked over my cock, hard enough to peek past the waistband.
“Here.”
“......”
I could tell what his next target would be as he ticked off the sensitive points of my body, one by one. Obscenely, expectantly, I swallowed. The hand stroking my penis slid past the back of my hand—awkwardly stalled inside my underwear—and pushed deeper. He deliberately rubbed around and pressed my balls with the back of his hand and my heels twitched.
“...Here too.”
“Uhh—h... hn—ngh.”
When he pressed firmly and circled his fingertip right over my anus, I pressed my brow to his shoulder and squirmed in need. I couldn’t stop the honest lift of my hips.
“They pop into my head any time. Really. It’s a problem.”
When I braced through my toes and set tension in my legs, he narrowed his brows and let out an “ah”—a gasp like admiration—though I hadn’t even tightened around his cock.
“Take responsibility, Seo Ihyeon. You will, right? Hm?”
“Mm—gh, ah... hnnn....”
At the feel of a finger pushing deep, a shiver ran through me—and then it pulled back, leaving only the nail, before sliding straight in again, stiff.
He set his tongue and pushed into my ear, pouring out rough breaths.
“Hnnnn... mn—ah. Hah—ah....”
Just from his finger pumping in and out fast, I felt like I might go off lightly. Mouth open, spilling helpless moans, I grabbed his forearm with the hand I’d pulled out of my underwear. My palm was slick with fluid. The same wetness must have been on his hand; every time he drove into me, an explicit wet sound squeaked—pure insertion. His hot excited tongue curled at my ear. It felt like he’d cupped even my hearing in his hand and was licking it.
“So soft... why are you this wet here... listen to the sounds from Seo Ihyeon’s ‘beta.’”
“Ha—uh, ngh... hnn....”
I bit my lower lip and shook my head hard. Hearing him whisper call that place my “beta” sent a mad surge of arousal through me. No—more like someone knocked that boiling over.
Beta, alpha, omega. Words as ordinary as man and woman in everyday talk, and yet... calling the anus I used when I had sex with him my “second sex,” it sounded like a sexual slang term; the same low, dirty thrill as when we whispered filthy things in bed rolled through me.
To the husky voice whispering, along with excited breaths, what he wanted to do to my beta, inside me, I clenched around his fingers without meaning to. As if he couldn’t stand it either, his finger scoured my inner wall from the inside.
“I want to touch together.”
Together touch what, exactly. Even as I thought it made no sense, I couldn’t shake off the hand guiding my fingers there. Half hesitant, half unable to contain my curiosity, I followed his lead and pushed my middle finger... into that place myself. Into my beta, where one of his fingers was already inside.
“Mm—nh....”
I bit my molars and buried my face in his shoulder at the indescribably strange sensation. Maybe the pre-cum soaking my underwear had run in along his hand; the inside was wetter than I expected, which flushed my face hotter.
Feeling myself wet, through and through—my whole body, even the secret inside—wet with wanting sex with him... it was very explicit. There was nowhere to hide, nothing to deny.
Even after I learned the pleasure of anal, I was having sex often enough that I never needed to masturbate with my ass, so this was my first time putting my own finger in there. It was my body, and yet I realized I accepted his finger—or his cock—far more naturally than my own.
“Hah—ngh, no... wait, not like....”
Inside, his finger wound around mine. It was—really—really strange. My shoulders went rigid; I looked up at him with a face like I’d bitten into something ice-cold. In contrast, he looked like a man splashed with boiling water, enjoying a new kind of friction where my finger tangled with his inside me.
“Why not? ...Because you feel it?”
“......”
I was struck dumb, like he’d hit the mark. I swallowed to wet a dry mouth, but there was nothing to swallow. He stacked his hand over mine, pushed up firmly inside, and with his other hand swept my hair back.
“Feeling it. Feeling good while you’re with me—that’s not dirty. Don’t feel guilty... about the fact that it feels good when it’s the two of us.”
I’d been exposed, knowingly and not, to the sexual repression society makes, and even with someone I loved, I still felt something like guilt—right up until reason flew out the window.
But I didn’t need to.
I thought about whether the act of rubbing his finger against mine inside my wet inner wall made me feel dirty—but the answer was instant. If it weren’t him, I wouldn’t have agreed to anything like this. Because it was him, every secret thing between us could be a clean aftertaste, a secret folded into love.
I moaned at the pressure of his finger pressing my finger into my inner wall and nodded. He kissed my bare forehead, slid an arm under my armpit to hug my back, and breathed at my ear.
“Right here... the place that drives me mad every day when I’m inside Seo Ihyeon.”
“Hnn—ah, ngh....”
Feeling him inside me with both finger and mucosa at once was far more explicit.
“Being in here together with you, Seo Ihyeon, it’s so...”
