He sat me on his lap and the vibration of his shaking grew faster and rougher. He ducked under my arm and even bit my nipples through the T-shirt while he drove up into me without mercy. Now he looked the one who was desperate.
Seo Ihyeon, Seo Ihyeon, Seo Ihyeon....
As if my name were a spell to ward off tragedy, he kept murmuring it, and with a final mutter—“Fuck, Seo Ihyeon.”—he pulled his fingers out from inside.
Lifting me from behind as I was sitting, he laid me down on the bench. The bench was tilted at a sixty-degree angle; the moment my back touched one end, he pushed up my thighs and buried his face between my legs.
There wasn’t a second of wasted time or motion. Everything happened in a flash.
“Ugh.”
A pointed tongue shoved the thin ribbon of lace aside and went straight into my anus. Like licking at ice cream, he curled his tongue and swept the mucosa from the inside. Then he pressed his lips to the entrance and sucked—smack, smack—loud enough to be indecent. He was like someone who would stick a straw in there if he could. Looking down between my lifted legs at his face sucking my anus, there was nothing of polish or poise left. He was ravenous. It was the animal obsession for the last scrap of prey left in the long remaining winter.
Fingers hadn’t been enough for me; the soft, wet pampering of his tongue and lips on my anus drove me to the brink of madness. I wanted to shove my own fingers inside and rake hard. I rubbed at his shoulder with my toes as if to push him away. I flailed my arms and dragged his neck closer.
“No... I don’t... I don’t want it anymore, please....”
He kept his mouth on my anus and lifted his eyes. The blue in his irises had thinned; they gleamed with a sheen of mania.
As if he wanted to bite me but was holding back, he rained noisy kisses over my anus and my sex, then wiped the shine of spit from his mouth with the back of his hand and straightened up. His penis gleamed too, as if sprayed with polish. The restraint from pushing in was a miracle in itself; he was so fiercely aroused that precum dripped in heavy strings. It looked like it might be melting.
He slid his thigh under my hips to set his position. His chest and lower abs were pumped tighter than usual, like he was angry. Gripping the shaft, he shoved the string away from my anus with the head like it was a nuisance and rubbed the crown wide around the entrance as if [N O V E L I G H T] marking territory.
“Hh... hp. Hhk.”
Even lying still, I panted like I’d been sprinting.
He set the head in place, then bent down, cupped my cheeks in his hands, and pressed his forehead to mine.
“Seo Ihyeooon... Seo Ihyeooon....”
Drawing out the vowels as he called to me, he wore a bizarre expression that looked both overjoyed and in pain... Like someone pleasantly drunk, or someone who’s had a hard day and throws himself into drink. He was a man who never let himself collapse, which made this look strange on him, hard to define, and that very lack of definition made him feel more human to me.
I slid my hands to his wrists around my cheeks and rubbed my nose against the tip of his.
“What’s wrong... Did I... do something wrong?”
With our foreheads still touching, he shook his head firmly. Between small, scattered kisses he forced the words out.
“No. You’re too good... Seo Ihyeon is too good at everything... You didn’t do a single thing wrong. You were... so good. What am I supposed to do? What do I do when Seo Ihyeon is this good?”
Smack. Our mouths met a little deeper at the end, and below, his head began to press me open and slip inside.
“See? Do you see how good Seo Ihyeon is?”
He narrowed his eyes and smiled.
“Hhngh, hhk. Haa.”
With no gap at all, he parted me and filled me, that thick, weighty presence sliding in. At last every itch was satisfied and fullness surged. I tightened my grip on his wrists and rubbed the back of my head against the bench behind me.
“It just slides right in... You feel that? How is that even possible?”
Saying it, he made a supple ripple through his hips while he paused his forward push, worrying the entrance. Each time he rolled his hips, the rim opened up and down; as the entrance rubbed along his shaft, a sharp pleasure sprinted through my whole body.
A spatter of climax twitched up; I dragged a hand down to touch the front.
Because he’d shoved the lower string aside while thrusting, my underwear was all twisted; my cock and balls were shoved out in a mess. My hardened shaft jutted at a slanted angle with the head peeking. It was no longer doing the job of underwear at all.
“Don’t touch. Don’t cum too fast. Come with me through your anus, okay?”
He pulled my wrist up. Even as he stopped me, his eyes stayed locked below. He kindly described the precarious ribbon resting beneath my pelvis, the string shoved aside, the obscene sight of his thrusts sliding in and out of my anus, then shook his head with a faint smile.
“Just watching... will make me cum fast. What doesn’t suit you, Seo Ihyeon? What, exactly?”
“My name....”
“......”
“Like before, just... ngh, Seo... Seo Ihyeon... like that....”
Whether he was fully in or not, my breath hitched in my throat; I panted and barely got the words out. He watched me with careful eyes and smiled gently.
“If that’s what you like, should I call you that again?”
“Hhmp, hh.”
He twisted his hips, rubbing his pubic hair around my anus as he asked; I nodded. His torso came closer and he kissed my cheek.
“Seo Ihyeooon, do you like my scent?”
It was a little different from before—a coaxing, soothing call. I nodded. While he planted cute kisses over my cheek and whispered sweetly in my ear, down below he stayed deep and made shallow, sticky motions.
His wet head, the shaft, the hair at his groin, the rim of my anus and the inner wall, and that something deep at the end—his thrusts laid little smacking kisses on all of them. It felt filthier than rough pounding.
It felt like his hips were shaking not only the inner wall of my anus, but all the pieces of education and socialization that make up being human.
“Why do you like it? What happens when you smell me?”
“Haa, hh... hhn, hk....”
I rasped out contradictions with a cracked, dry voice: that when only the senses of the body exist, I forget everything; that I feel like I’m going to suffocate and die, and like I can finally breathe and live....
All the screws in my head had loosened... I couldn’t think of anything but sex, his cock and the thrusting, the unwithering erection and the knotting that felt like it would burst my guts... I stammered the confession with a blown voice.
“When you drink my spit you start wanting to be knotted, huh.... Should we? Should we knot again today? Seo Ihyeon, you like knotting.”
Each time he moved his hips, sticky fluid met air and rasped with a squelching noise that made me dizzy. I wrapped my arms around his neck and bit my lower lip; he lunged, caught my mouth, and bit. Then, changing his stance from earlier, he pleaded in a mumble.
“I’ll do everything you ask... I’ll do it all, I’ll give it all... So... let me knot. Yeah? I’m dying to do it to you.”
Since the first time, he wasn’t the only one who wanted knotting. I was the one who’d begged when he hesitated, or pushed for it without realizing. Even so, he was asking me to let him, a needless request. He wasn’t a man who was blind to pros and cons, but heat had flooded his head—and his cock—so much it was making him malfunction.
I wasn’t normal either.
“Then... if you’ve only... done it with me, I’d... like that. Kissing, fingers inside... sex, knotting... only with me....”
“......”
He slowed his hips, wearing the look of someone hearing the unbelievable.
I had whispered shocking dirty talk in bed countless times, but even at my hottest I had never asked him for anything. It felt like bad manners, like it would kill the heat.
But right now... courage welled up from somewhere.
His thrusts, after studying me, gradually sped up again. I toyed with the back of his neck where my arm was looped and added:
“You said you’d do... anything....”
He gripped the end of the bench over my head, gathered my spread thighs once more, and drove deeper.
“Ever since the first time with you, it’s already been... only you. You know that.”
He was right. I’d only lacked certainty; I’d suspected he wasn’t seeing anyone else. In this moment, suspicion clicked cleanly into fact. The impact was beyond what I’d imagined.
Maybe another heavy pour of Cowper’s fluid spilled from his head; I felt a warm gush soaking my inner wall up in my belly. He narrowed his brow and his broad shoulders shivered. Not shallow in-and-outs now, but full withdrawals and single, slamming thrusts to the hilt crashed into me in a frenzy.
“If I only kiss and have sex with Seo Ihyeon... is it okay if I knot? Can I keep doing it to you?”
Even with his grip on it, the bench rattled, but neither of us had any room to care.
“Do it, keep going... blow me up to my brain. No—no, we should stop. What do we do. If we keep having sex and knotting like this... and I turn completely stupid all the way up in my head... What do I do then, Director.”
I nodded, then shook my head wildly... babbling a wretched jumble I couldn’t make sense of myself.
Kisses pelted every part of my face—eyelids, under eyes, temples, cheeks, lips, philtrum and bridge of nose.
“If you said you’d rather I did that... would that make me a bastard?”
“......”
I knew he didn’t mean it. Neither of us was normal right now.
I yanked him closer by the neck and pressed my lips to his—the kind of lips that made me feel like I was having a thick, intoxicating dream just by looking. Even the regret in the instant our mouths parted felt like an extension of the kiss.
No, it wouldn’t. I slowly shook my head. He tapped his forehead lightly to mine and growled a low curse.
Hooking his arms under my bent knees, he slid those arms up my back and lifted me.
My body rose so lightly; in the next moment I was floating in his arms. My grip around his neck tightened naturally, but he smiled through sweat like there was nothing to worry about.
“Should we... go around like this from now on? Go to work like this, go to meetings, eat like this... I’m tempted.”
He even took a few steps as if trying out the idea; despite everything, I let out a laugh at his joke.
“Hh... hhng.”
But the laughter didn’t last. He stopped near the foot of the bench, shifted his hips, pushed the cock that had slipped out back in as he lifted me, and started to snap his waist.
There was no time to marvel at the strength to hold me and rock me without bracing me on a wall or desk or anything else; in this new position I had to endure a strange intensity of stimulation that felt like every hole in my body was opening wide.
“Haa... hh... hhng....”
His thrusts shoved me back with his pelvis; add my own weight and the rebound doubled. Each time I slammed back into him, thud, thud, his cock drove deep, like it would carve a groove inside me in its own shape. The impact was nothing like when we did it lying down or standing.
The wet slap of bare, sweaty skin hitting was sloppier than usual. Since our first time in Hong Kong we hadn’t used lube, but tonight his precum seemed to overflow even more. Each time my bounced body hit his groin and he shoved in, I felt fluid push out around his shaft and spill along my skin. Even so, the slickness inside didn’t dry.
He gathered me up in his arms again as I slipped in sweat and rubbed his lips against my cheek.
“Do you know... what it’s like inside right now?”
Unlike the violence of the lower body that was tossing me, his voice was gentle.
“Hh... hh....”
I couldn’t make words into proper sentences. With a parched throat I let out a high, thin moan and just met his eyes.
