“A brief, heavy silence fell over the practice room after Steer Ryu Cheong woo’s remark.
‘He asked if there’s any need to get my memories back?’
The members slowly understood what he meant—the statement that, instead of the original TeSTAR Ryu Cheong woo, he intended to remain here as himself.
All the while, Steer Ryu Cheong woo waited silently for our response, as if awaiting a verdict.
“.......”
After a moment,
“Hyung, what are you saying~ You can get your memories back. Oh, don’t worry!”
Big Sejin was the first to smile and reply, as though giving him a chance to soften or retract his words.
But Ryu Cheong woo did not back down.
“Hmm, I didn’t mean I was worried about that. Sejin, are °• N 𝑜 v 𝑒 l i g h t •° you the one worried? That I’m anxious because I have no memories?”
“......!”
Right.
‘If he’d been shaken by that tone, he wouldn’t have made the remark in the first place.’
Yet I hadn’t expected him to ask so bluntly—whether he was insecure compared to the original TeSTAR Ryu Cheong woo.
“If there’s something you’re worried about, tell me. I’ll fix it right away.”
“Ah, no. I’m grateful even now! But this must feel so strange and uncomfortable for you.”
“It’s not that uncomfortable.”
Steer Ryu Cheong woo smiled faintly.
“I’m enjoying it. The stage is great, and I’m learning so much. I like how unfamiliar it feels.”
“.......”
“I worry that if I get my memories back, I won’t feel like this anymore.”
“Oh, it’ll actually feel even better.”
Big Sejin spoke warmly and gently.
However—
“How can you be sure?”
“Huh?”
Ryu Cheong woo remained unshaken.
“This isn’t exactly an ordinary situation you can be so sure about. And I should know best how I’ll feel.”
“......um.”
Even Big Sejin fell silent for a moment, unsure how to respond without accidentally offending him and triggering another outburst.
If you flatly contradict him, it means you were wrong.
‘Damn.’
This was twisted. Time to change the mood immediately.
I was about to gather my words and jump in when—
“Practice!”
“...!”
Suddenly someone shouted. To my surprise, Bae Sejin, who had been tucked away reading his e-book in the corner, called out.
“We only have one week! Break’s over. Whatever it is, start practicing first!”
“Ah.”
He looked desperate, veins bulging in his neck.
In that instant, as if doused with a bucket of cold water, everyone refocused on the pressing priority.
Not the approach I’d planned, but extremely effective.
Bae Sejin kept shouting,
“If we delay, Kim Rae bin won’t have time to finish the arrangement!”
Right.
“If he stays up all night again to meet the deadline, his roommate Park Mundae will have to drag him off!”
“Um.”
Hey, that’s harsh.
“...! No, no! We’ll finish within the deadline without any late-night sessions. Please trust me!”
“Okay, I trust you...!”
“Rae bin can do it for sure!”
The tension dissolved instantly back into everyday banter.
“Alright. Let’s work hard.”
“Yes—f-fighting...!”
And just like that, the topic shifted smoothly.
Ryu Cheong woo, as if nothing had happened, resumed practicing eagerly with his usual gentle, cooperative demeanor.
After a while, the earlier tension felt almost natural in such an unusual situation.
‘It makes sense that he’d be confused! Cha Yoo jin even ran away.’
Yet I hadn’t forgotten Steer Ryu Cheong woo’s attitude from before.
‘He wasn’t confused.’
He was certain.
He’d already concluded in his mind that he intended to remain here as Steer Ryu Cheong woo.
That explained why he’d studied and absorbed every TeSTAR title track and latest performance as if training—so he could stay here without reclaiming TeSTAR memories.
‘So that was the goal.’
Later, during break time, I saw Bae Sejin sighing quietly in the corner of the practice room.
“Hyung.”
“...Park Mundae.”
He glanced at me, then looked back at Ryu Cheong woo, who was listening to Kim Rae bin and Seon Ah hyun discuss the arrangement.
“I’ve been thinking.”
Bae Sejin murmured softly.
“He was uncomfortable around me too—just like with Cha Yoo jin before.”
“.......”
“But he’s trying so hard not to show it. I don’t know why.”
He’d noticed.
And it wasn’t just simple goodwill when Steer Ryu Cheong woo brightened at receiving the drink a few days ago.
‘He took it as a sign he could try to get along.’
Whatever his reason, that gesture gave him hope.
And Bae Sejin didn’t stop there.
“...And I don’t know why both of them seem uncomfortable around me.”
Damn.
“Well, that—”
“Never mind.”
Bae Sejin sighed.
“It’s obvious. He thinks I’ll cause trouble for the group again and get hauled back to my old agency.”
“.......”
“If I can show I’ve changed since then, it’ll be fine.”
He set his jaw firmly, but his expression soon darkened.
“Still, I don’t know what to do next... I really don’t.”
“.......”
We both stared at Steer Ryu Cheong woo.
He spoke to the members so amicably that for a moment he almost seemed the original TeSTAR Ryu Cheong woo.
But—
“If he never gets his memories back, what happens to the Ryu Cheong woo we knew?”
I couldn’t answer.
One week later.
The day of the first competition stage on arrived.
[Next up, TeSTAR’s performance.]
As we entered for the sixth slot following the MC’s introduction, I adjusted my in-ear monitors.
No matter how confident I felt, this was a survival show. One mistake could destroy our hard-earned careers.
Yet I felt no anxiety.
Normally it’d be thanks to proper preparation—today, it was something else.
‘That worry’s gone.’
A bigger concern occupied me.
“.......”
Woooah!
Amid the cheers and applause, TeSTAR moved into position.
–sound of falling raindrops
Tapping on the windowpane
Blue pours down on my head
The song we chose from Mudi’s hits was the ballad “You Might Not Know.” A dawn-tinted emotion track that had gone viral as an “insider pick” on SNS. Its repetitive chorus was addictive, but—
Kim Rae bin had re-arranged it to feel far more somber and weighty.
–I’m tired of Love and Sick
Still waiting for your notification
The intro flowed quietly like the original, until the part change.
A slow, low bass throbbed through the speakers.
–You might not know
From there, the performance gained gravity.
Our concept: internal darkness.
We wove in classical pieces so that the arrangement grew more elegant and grand, overlaid with artistic choreography.
And Seon Ah hyun’s solo dance in the bridge.
Breaking from K-pop symbolism, we aimed for a stage tailored to a cultured palette.
Then the finale.
–I can’t sleep
Just saying it once
Goodbye, goodbye
When the music cut and only the voice remained, Kim Rae bin selected the best singer by tone alone.
Ryu Cheong woo.
–You might not know
He executed it cleanly.
The bass returned, and the full arrangement closed the song.
–Umm... umm.
In that quiet, crestfallen instrumental, we reached the ending.
.......
The stage was dark and atmospheric—too intense for mediocre execution. When impact hit at the precise moment, catharsis and charm soared.
And the strategy worked.
Wooooah!!
When the lights went out, the roar and applause filled the auditorium, in sharp contrast to the dark atmosphere.
Keying—
Bright lights blazed back on. Before exiting, the members, drenched in sweat, took a deep breath and smiled brightly.
“Thank you~”
“Thank you.”
And so did Steer Ryu Cheong woo.
“Thank you!”
He’d done great.
And he looked genuinely happy.
‘Damn.’
That only made my mind spin more, so I swallowed a sigh.
But I couldn’t postpone it any longer.
‘That’s just escaping reality.’
Before the update finished, I had to talk.
Shortly after, in the waiting area before the post-performance cutaway,
“I need to say something.”
“.......”
I led Steer Ryu Cheong woo into the small nap room off the main waiting area.
He followed without protest and then asked,
“Is this about what I said a few days ago?”
I nodded without surprise.
If we waited until we returned to the dorm, it would get lost in work. Better now.
‘And it’ll be easier as a relative than as a junior.’
He sat beside me; I began.
“May I ask why you said that?”
“.......”
“Not to accuse you—just, when you said during practice that getting your memories back wouldn’t feel good, I didn’t really catch why. I want to know.”
Steer Ryu Cheong woo didn’t resist. Instead, he paused as if choosing his words, then spoke slowly.
“I don’t think that person would be me.”
“.......”
“I thought about Cha Yoo jin.”
He continued calmly.
“My Cha Yoo jin feels very different from who I knew.”
“.......”
“Even though he seemed to remember living as Cha Yoo jin, he still did that.”
‘So that’s it.’
Right.
Even if the real Cha Yoo jin regained his Steer memories, he’d naturally prioritize living as a TeSTAR member. Of course. Steer was so long ago.
That dissonance, this guy—formerly in the same group as Steer Cha Yoo jin—couldn’t have missed.
In other words, he too believed that if he recovered his memories, he wouldn’t remain as himself.
‘Damn.’
“I thought if I got my memories back, I’d feel like a different person. I don’t want that.”
Steer Ryu Cheong woo said it outright; I ground my teeth.
And he didn’t stop there.
“I know. But, you—you think that’s still the same person, right?”
“.......”
“So then, the me without memories is still the same member, right?”
Wait.
‘That sounds—prepared.’
Too smooth.
‘The same member?’
No, not really.
‘We never treated him that way.’
I realized our treatment of Steer Ryu Cheong woo had been contradictory. Even without his memories, most people unconsciously treat someone as they knew them before. Like we accidentally did with Steer Cha Yoo jin.
But here, we’d been treating this guy as if he were the original TeSTAR Ryu Cheong woo, while telling him, “You just lost your memories.”
‘Damn.’
He must’ve felt the dissonance.
Yet instead of pointing it out, he calmly aligned with my logic, as if any path that convinced us was fine.
“And in a few weeks or months, with or without help, I can fulfill my role perfectly.”
But in his final words, his calm voice trembled slightly.
“So... I’d like to just stay like this.”
That day, TeSTAR’s stage topped the live audience votes.
Online reviews from early attendees flooded in, raising expectations for the show and giving fans relief and excitement.
Everything went according to plan.
...Except only one thing went according to plan.
I received the “update complete” popup.
