Chapter 419
Whispers Abound (III)
It was almost evening by the time kids returned.
They came back in batches; first were the girls, who were also the ones to come drag me out of the room and to the small kitchen, where there was a table of prepared dishes still steaming awaiting.
Dai Xiu was the first to break off into a long speech about all the places they'd been to, which, to me, sounded like all the places. They'd swung by essentially every important establishment, saw every important statue, and were even allowed to enter one of the local sects as the boys at the entrance fancied them.
They did sound intensely fearless, something that I couldn't quite sympathize with. I'd never been outside my hometown back on Earth alone, only ever doing so with Yas. And any time we'd go, she'd be the shepherd and I the sheep, as it were--she'd plan everything, book everything, and make sure all papers were in order, and once we got there, she was the one knocking on doors, checking out new places, and trying to communicate with the locals through gestures and good vibes.
Me?
I was a statue standing besides her, soaking it all in. I was never able to do what the kids today did--just break off and run free in an unknown space, entering random buildings, trying to see a bit of everything.
"Oh, oh! Sister Lan, tell Master about Brother Ping! Tell him!"
"Who's brother Ping?" I asked.
"Nobody!" Wan Lan retorted. "He's a nobody!"
"Hah, as if! He's one of the direct disciples of the Immortal Spear Sect, and he confessed his love for Sister Lan the moment he saw her!" Wow. Kind of bold, huh?
"He did not confess his love," Wan Lan said. "He was simply surprised that there was a woman out there who would reject him."
"Oh, you rejected him," Dai Xiu snickered. "There must have been at least twenty people there, Master! Aah, you should have seen it! She was so--"
"--Xiu'er, that's enough!" Wan Lan interrupted, her cheeks flaring red. "What if I started telling Master about how you touched that statue of a man? And more importantly, where?"
"Aaah!!" Dai Xiu gasped as I continued to sit there stoically. "How dare you! Now, now Master will, will think I'm... let's go out now! I want to fight you!"
"Enough, you two," I finally interjected as it truly seemed they were about to go out and at it.
"Master, I just touched it because I admired the craftsmanship, I swear!"
"And, and I rejected him firmly, but I wasn't mean!" Looking at them looking at me with those big eyes full of guilt, I almost cracked. Beneath the veil of monsters who can rip out spines with their fingers, there was, well... this.
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
"Xiu'er, it's perfectly fine to be curious," I said. "And Lan'er, you're a beautiful girl; there will no doubt be thousands of boys and men who will confess their love to you. Reject them how you see fit. And, if they keep coming back despite you saying no, you know what you should do?"
"What, Master?"
"Kick them between the legs."
"... pfft," as they swallowed their laughter, I dipped into some freshly baked bread and jam. It wasn't all that sugary, but the taste of plum was quite nice.
"I think I said it before," I said. "But, to me, you will always be kids before you'll be the heavenly chosen martial artists capable of great things. If I could have, I would have given you childhoods where you would have run around with other kids your age, enjoying it to the fullest without worrying about anything in the world. Alas, Master is weak. Despite that, I am here and always will be; be curious, be inquisitive, be proud. Be who you want to be."
"... M-Master," Dai Xiu stuttered, seeming a bit embarrassed. "Can... can I ask you something?"
"Of course. Anything."
"What... what is it like to fall in love?" she squeezed through her teeth, as the other three--even Light--perked their ears up, though they were all strategically looking away.
"Hmm," I hummed for a moment, gathering my thoughts. I've been in love twice in my life, as I recall. "It's different for everyone," I said. "To some, falling in love is like falling into the eye of a storm, being swept in every which direction, aimless and boundless. To others, it's a tranquil feeling of belonging when you know there is somebody who will always stay by your side no matter what.
"As long as it doesn't hurt," I said. "And as long as you don't feel belittled, love can be... anything. It can be quiet and still; it can be silent and enduring; it can be fiery and untamed."
"Were you in love, Master?" Wan Lan asked.
"I was."
"What was it like?" The question kind of bore deeper than I thought this conversation would go. I don't think I've talked about Yas with anyone before coming here. As though I'd locked her away in the depths of my heart and thrown away the key.
But, staring at those expectant eyes full of wonder, I felt the lock loosening ever so slightly.
"When your Master was young," I said. "I was... lost. I meandered about for a long while, searching for purpose. And, unlike you, I didn't have a handsome, wise Master to guide me, you know?"
"Pfft."
"Master!"
"As I was saying," I continued after a chuckle. "I was lost. But, eventually, I found myself."
"When you fell in love?" the newcomer, Zhou Yun, chimed in at last, actually. She quickly covered her mouth as though she'd spoken by reflex.
"Ha ha, no, no," I said, smiling. "Though you will never listen, as no young ever do, love cannot... fix you. It cannot heal you. It can only ever be a bandage, covering a wound that will simply continue to fester. No. I had help, of course: friends, family. But... it was mostly me, accepting all the things I wasn't and never will be, and being fine with them all. Only then, when I realized what I wanted out of life, I also knew who to search for."
"And you found her?"
"I did," I nodded. "She showed me the world I was never quite brave enough to see on my own, and I fell in love with it all."
"Wooow."
"What happened to her?" Dai Xiu asked.
"... she, she died." The atmosphere immediately stiffened, with Wan Lan and Light eyeing Dai Xiu rather starkly, with the latter nearly crying out from the guilt. "And when she did, I thought I'd never love again."
"A-and... you do?"
"Of course." I put on a smile yet again. "I love all of you, you know? With all my heart!"
"M-Master!!"
"That's so embarrassing!"
"Ho ho, good. You ask embarrassing questions; you ought to be embarrassed yourself."
"... I-I'm sorry, Master, for, for asking." Dai Xiu quickly said, bowing her head.
"No, don't be," I said. "I... one day, I will tell you everything about her. I want you to know her because she would have loved you all even more than I do."
"If she's someone Master praises so highly, she must have been the greatest!"
"Hm, hm, the greatest!"
"Aah, will I ever find someone that will talk about me this way?"
"That boy you rejected, Sister Lan, could have been it."
"Oh, like you and that statue?"
"Master, tell her to stop!"
It hurt, remembering.
But, shockingly, it hurt less than ever before.
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