Chapter 77: Another Taste of Abandonment
{IRIS}
Hatred rose without warning, hot and venomous, coiling tight in my chest—its fangs aimed squarely at Caroline.
I hated the way Lord Val held her.
The way his arm curved around her as if she already belonged there.
As if she had always been meant to stand in that place.
The sight tore something open inside me, dragging forth memories I had long buried.
Ember—the same sharp, unreasoning fury, the same violent urge to rip and destroy, surged through me once more.
It was familiar in the worst way. Intimate. Like a wound that had never truly healed.
I hated that feeling most of all.
Because I had no right to it.
Lord Val and I... there had never been anything between us. I knew that. I had always known it.
What I felt for him was nothing like what bound me to Lorcan—that was instinct, fate, something written into blood and soul alike.
And yet—
Lord Val had saved my life.
He had pulled me from death, from ruin, and given me a second existence when I had nothing left to offer the world. He was my patron. My shelter. My second breath.
I wanted to be useful to him.
I wanted to repay what I owed.
To stand at his side and matter—even if only in some small, unremarkable way.
But watching him now—holding Caroline, drinking from her, marking her with a claim that was unmistakably his—I felt something ugly twist inside me.
I wanted to be her.
Even if all he did was drink my blood. Then at least I was useful to him.
All I ever brought him was disappointment.
Why...?
Why was it always like this?
Why did everyone choose someone else?
My mate.
My pack.
And now Lord Val.
Each name echoed through my mind like a tolling bell, each loss layering atop the last until the weight of it pressed down on my ribs, making it hard to breathe.
They had all slipped through my fingers.
I had belonged nowhere.
I swallowed hard, my nails biting into my palms as I stood there, unseen yet painfully present, watching the world remind me—again—that I was unwanted.
Abandoned.
The word burned.
I had felt it before, that familiar cold settling into my bones, dragging memories along with it. The silence after my pack had turned their backs. The empty space where a bond should have been.
The slow realization that no matter how fiercely I tried to belong, I was always standing just outside the circle.
Always looking in.
Why...?
The question echoed uselessly in my head.
Why did fate keep offering me hope only to rip it away?
My gaze drifted back to Caroline, to the way Lord Val’s grip tightened around her.
She’s mine.
The word replayed itself mercilessly.
Why could it never be me?
Why was I never chosen?
The ache in my chest deepened, spreading until it hollowed me out from the inside, leaving nothing but a quiet, seething despair.
I stood frozen in that moment, caught between fury and grief, I looked away and run towards the dorms.
====
{CAROLINE}
"Whoa... really? Vladimir?"
Valerius’s laughter was sharp and careless, echoing through the hollow grounds like broken glass scraping stone.
It was that sound—mocking, amused, utterly unbothered—that tore me out of my stunned paralysis. My heart lurched as though it had been yanked back into my chest.
"Well, look at that," Valerius continued, clapping once as if this were some grand performance meant solely for his amusement. "Seems Vladimir finally found himself a human blood bank."
The words struck harder than the fangs ever could.
My gaze flickered to the other two vampires. They remained on their knees, trembling like whipped animals, their arrogance reduced to pitiful obedience. Their eyes were downcast, not daring to rise to Vladimir’s face—nor to mine. Fear clung to them, thick and palpable, coiling through the air like fog.
Valerius strolled toward Vladimir with infuriating leisure and tapped him lightly on the shoulder, as one might congratulate a friend.
"Well then," he said pleasantly, "if that’s the case, we’ll leave the little human to you."
His eyes slid toward me, and he winked.
A slow, deliberate wink.
Before I could summon a retort—or even breathe—he stepped backward into the shadows. Darkness swallowed him whole, his laughter trailing behind like a curse etched into the stone.
The other two vampires vanished as well, dissolving into mist as though they had never been there at all.
Silence crashed down.
That was when the weight of what had happened finally struck me.
I shoved Vladimir away with both hands, my palms colliding with his chest. He did not stumble. He barely moved. Still, I glared at him as though fury alone might wound him.
My fingers flew to my neck.
The wound was gone.
Not even a scar remained.
Heat rushed to my face as memory flooded back—his mouth against my skin, the sharp sting that had melted into something frighteningly different.
I could still feel it: the slow drag of his tongue as he sealed the wound, the intimate care of the gesture sending a shiver straight down my spine.
I hated that I remembered it so clearly.
"What the hell did you do?" I shrieked, my voice echoing too loudly in the open air. "How dare you bite me!"
My chest rose and fell rapidly. I didn’t understand my own reaction—why my heart was racing, why my hands trembled as though I had been wronged in some unspeakable way.
This wasn’t the first time a vampire had drunk my blood.
During training, it had happened before.
But this—
This was different.
I felt... strange.
It wasn’t the bite that angered me.
It was what it made me feel.
Vladimir regarded me in silence, his expression unreadable. Then, slowly, a softness touched his features—so subtle I might have imagined it. A faint smile curved his lips, nothing like the predatory grins of the others.
"I’m sorry," he said calmly. "It was the only way to make them leave you alone."
"Huh?" My brows knit together as confusion warred with indignation. "Leave me alone? By turning me into your human blood bank?"
