Chapter 43: No One Wants You Here
When dinner was finally over, Maya could hardly hide her relief. She waited patiently with her head down for Keenan to leave so she could make her escape. She needed to leave before Alaina plotted something else.
Even though she had finished eating and there was no longer any way she could choke, Keenan still didn’t stop staring at her. She shuffled on her seat, trying to hide from his view, but there was no way to stay hidden. He had a complete and uninterrupted view of her.
The same thing applied to Alaina, but Maya found that she was more terrified of Alaina’s stares. Keenan just made her self-conscious and embarrassed.
Being made to spit out her food was not something she would recover from. It didn’t help that Alaina had yelled out disgusting, that was exactly how she felt.
When he finally brought the napkin to his lips, Maya could barely contain her relief. She watched from the corner of her eye as he stood up. They almost met eyes in her excitement, and she quickly brought her gaze down while listening to his footsteps as he exited the dining room.
Maya let her shoulders fall as she heard the doors open and close. However, she couldn’t leave the dining room yet. Deciding to count to thirty before she left so she wouldn’t run into him. It was safer this way.
Maya had just made it to five when Alaina’s grating voice reached her ears. "Were you trying to kill yourself?" She mocked.
Maya went pale at her statement but didn’t raise her head or acknowledge that she had heard Alaina’s words.
"To be honest, you would be doing us a favor," Alaina cackled. "No one wants you here. But of course, you had no plans to actually do us any favors. You were hoping to garner sympathy by almost dying, weren’t you? Like anybody will believe that pathetic act of yours."
Thirty.
Maya stood to her feet, stepped out of the chair, pushed it under the table, and headed for the door. She expected Alaina to yell at her or try to stop her, but all she did was laugh loudly.
Maya gripped the side of her dress as she slowly made her way to her room. She walked steadily, showing no sign of her exhaustion or sadness as she made her way to the stairway.
But, her strong act didn’t last. As soon as she got to the second floor, away from the light and the chance of running into anyone, tears poured down her face.
Maya didn’t bother trying to see through her tears. She put her hand on the wall and used it to find her way to her room. She was still shedding tears when she closed the door and placed her forehead against it as she wrapped her arms around herself.
How many times had she cried today? Maya wasn’t sure she could count. Just like she couldn’t count how many times her heart had broken since she got here.
She pulled herself from the door and lay on the pile of clothes. She curled into a ball, feeling the breeze from the single window flow into the room. At least it was a chilly night.
Maya happily welcomed the cold. The colder she was, the more numb she got and she didn’t think so hard anymore. She didn’t think about how Keenan believed she would choke on her food as a plot against him. She didn’t think about the fact that no matter what she did, it could only be seen as a ploy.
Maya shut her eyes tight. Worst of all, she tried her hardest not to think about how their marriage wasn’t real. Was that why he didn’t touch her in that way?
Maya dug the heels of her palms into the sides of her head. Even if they were married, they didn’t have that sort of marriage. She knew that, but why did her mind keep straying in that direction?
She wasn’t completely naive. Her personal maid Margaret had once told her about it when she came of age. She had said she didn’t want to taint Maya, but it was better if she knew so she wouldn’t be scared when it happened.
She was pretty close with her personal maid, and she was one of the maids she had known all her life. Maya missed her. She had tried her hardest not to think about the good parts of Father’s mansion, but she was indeed lonely, and it was crushing.
Alaina was not wrong; none of them wanted her here. She was certain the only person who did was Keenan, and he didn’t even marry her. He simply brought her here to be humiliated.
What else did I expect?
She knew this already better than anyone, but was it wrong of her to have some hope? It was only a few days, and Maya was giving up. Nothing she had done in the past few days had made any difference.
She shut her eyes even tighter, trying to get some sleep. She couldn’t keep thinking about this. She didn’t know how the next day was going to go, especially with the guests; she had to be mentally prepared.
Maya woke up with a start. She didn’t even realize when she had fallen asleep. She could see the window from where she lay, and the sky was still dark. There was no reason why she was awake now. She wondered if Alaina waking her up at odd times had something to do with it.
It was chillier now that it was drawing closer to dawn. She had been dreaming of her childhood: climbing a tree with Marcus. It was more like he would climb the tree while she wrapped her little arms around the trunk.
Maya let out a sad laugh. Was this a way to cheer her up? To make her hold on a little longer? She placed her palm over her face as she let herself soak in the memories for just a little bit.
