Chapter 39: To Blame
"A piece of paper doesn’t mean anything. One rip and it’s all over. What if it was stolen or burnt?"
Maya felt a hand close over her heart. The marriage certificate was stolen; Keenan had said so. As she could recall, he didn’t have any reaction toward it and had simply chased her off.
Was it really unimportant? Maya didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what to think. All that echoed and resonated in her head was that they weren’t really married.
Alaina threw her head back and laughed some more. "I can’t believe you actually thought you were married. Aren’t you pathetic, though? Why would the man you tortured marry you? Coming to the town you ruined. What did you think this was going to do? You should have stayed home with the High Alpha. You should never have—"
"Lady Alaina," Bess’s voice called from outside the door. "I have brought the items."
Alaina narrowed her eyes, but the interruption didn’t deter her mood. She turned toward the closed door and opened it to let Bess in. Bess’s hands were filled with cleaning items, and she had a proud smile on her face.
"Put them down, Bess," she was smirking as she spoke.
Bess nodded and dropped them to the floor with a clatter, while Maya just stared at both of them. Alaina turned around and walked a few steps into the room. She placed the oil lamp on the round table.
"It better be spotless!" She stared Maya up and down before turning around and exiting the room with Bess.
As soon as the door shut, Maya’s legs gave out. She wasn’t quite sure how she had held herself until then. Something was breaking loudly—so loud it was deafening.
Was there no hope from the very beginning?
It wasn’t until the tears dropped on her dreary gray dress that Maya realized she was crying. She palmed her face and wept, biting the heel of her palm to keep from crying out.
Is he going to toss me out when he is satisfied? Why then will he force me to eat? Isn’t it better to put me through the unimaginable as quickly as possible?
This method gave her the illusion that she could fix the gap between them—that somehow, if she tried hard enough, she would be able to wipe off some of the hurt and perhaps his gaze wouldn’t darken so much when he stared at her.
She knew he hated her, but marriage gave her some hope. It could be the worst marriage ever, but a marriage was still a marriage. But now, she didn’t even have that.
Maya sat weeping until her legs went numb and the sun peeked out of the sky. Only then did she force herself to get up and get some work done.
She wiped her face on her dress. She didn’t have the time to mend her broken heart. All she could do right now was clean and try to make it to breakfast on time.
She locked up her thoughts and concentrated on the dirty spots in the room, brushing off the dust and rearranging misplaced items.
Suddenly, Maya heard a knock, and she jumped, spinning around. She knew exactly who was knocking and why before she even opened the door.
She had unfortunately lost track of time.
She had thought she would be able to keep the thinking at bay, but even while cleaning, she had been consumed by it. So consumed that being absorbed in her work was the only way she didn’t buckle over and burst into another round of tears.
Unfortunately, this meant that she was unaware of the passage of time. It was time for breakfast. It wasn’t late, but if someone was knocking, Keenan had arrived before her.
Maya wiped her hands on the side of her dress—she didn’t care if it left a stain. She patted down her hair and face, brushing off any dust and doing her best to make sure she looked presentable.
At least there was a mirror in this room, so she didn’t have to guess how she looked. She was terrified of how she looked but the last thing she wanted to do was explain all the dirt. Satisfied with what she saw, she fled to the door and rushed out.
Bess was smiling deviously as soon as she opened the door. "The Alpha wants—"
Maya wasn’t listening; she was already rushing past Bess and toward the stairs. Her shoes hit the floor loudly as she practically ran. Maya took the stairs as fast as she could, almost tripping in her hurry, but thankfully, she had a firm grip on the handrail.
"Slow down, you’re already late. Running won’t make any difference," Bess mumbled behind her.
Maya could hear the mockery in her voice. She knew she was no more than a laughingstock to these women. However, because of what she had done, it was hard to see their behavior as anything other than what she deserved.
She took her hands from the railing and ran toward the dining doors. It wasn’t until she stood in front of the double doors that Maya stopped running.
She pushed them open, and the dining room immediately went quiet. A pair of eyes fixated on her from the edge of the room. Maya felt sweaty all over; she gripped the sides of her dress tightly as her heart threatened to jump out of her chest.
He was on his feet in an instant while Alaina smirked next to him. Maya hoped the ground would open and swallow her. But, she knew that wasn’t going to happen. Whatever was about to happen next, she would be right here to experience it.
Keenan took a step towards her and the closer he got, the more paralyzed with fear she became. Maya realized she couldn’t even take another step forward; she just stood by the door with a death grip on her dress.
His footsteps sounded like loud hammers and soon enough he was right in front of her. Maya’s eyes were wide with horror as she locked eyes with the tips of his brown boots.
He closed the gap in a swift motion and wrapped his palm around her neck, closing her airway. Her head tilted upward as he leaned in.
"Am I a joke to you?" He asked.
Maya closed her eyes. She didn’t think she could bear to look into his eyes right now. She feared she might not be able to bear the hate in them, knowing now that their marriage was nonexistent.
He was so close; she could feel his breath against her face. His anger came out in waves, hitting her over and over again. Without the marriage as a shield, this time it felt like being naked in a blizzard.
"No," she tried to say. It came out as a gasp.
He didn’t ease his hold, and Maya could feel the power in his grip as panic started to rise. It was hard to think logically when she couldn’t breathe.
"I am s-sorry," she forced out. "I overslept. I-I didn’t mean to."
It was hard to speak. Maya didn’t even know how the words passed her throat. She could have said the truth, but even in her panicked, scared, and hurt state, she knew that was the wrong approach.
He wouldn’t believe she was doing any cleaning even though she had dust all over her. And if by the off chance he believed her, he would question her motive. She couldn’t dare say Alaina had asked her to do it. She didn’t need anyone to tell her that Alaina would lie and deny it.
Keenan didn’t believe anything she said. It was a fight she was going to lose even if she had a fair chance. Alaina was the type to do anything to win.
"Overslept?" He laughed in her face. "You can’t think of a better excuse."
Maya squeezed her eyes tight. Everything was an excuse to him. It was still so hard to breathe, and it was taking everything in her not to reach for his hands and pulled it away from her neck. She didn’t want to make it worse.
Suddenly, his grip on her neck eased, and he pulled his hand away. It was so unexpected that she opened her eyes, and Maya regretted it.
She looked down at her feet as soon as their eyes met. He had looked like he would rather wring her neck than let it go. His hand was off her neck, but her chest still felt tight, as though she couldn’t breathe.
Keenan didn’t move away; he stood overbearing next to her. His scent floated through her nostrils. She hadn’t noticed it before because she couldn’t breathe, but now that air was flowing through her nose, it was all she could smell.
How was he terrifying and comforting at the same time?
All she wanted to do was lean in, apologize for everything she had done, and have him tell her she was not at fault. But Maya knew that would never happen.
After all, she was to blame.
