Chapter 169: What Never Changed (2)
At that, Rosalind’s eyes immediately brightened, and before she even realized it she found herself talking about everything. She spoke about how much she had been pampered, even though Rowan already knew parts of it from her letters. She talked about the places she had visited, the freedom she had enjoyed, and all the fun she had experienced without restrictions. Merovia had given her so much freedom, and she had truly been happy there.
When Rosalind finally finished speaking, Rowan found himself thinking about something else entirely, and he wondered whether he should ask her. It was not because he wanted to ruin the moment but because he genuinely wanted to know.
"Rosalind?"
"Yes?" She turned toward him.
"I’ve often found myself wondering why you never responded to my letters before..." he said, and after studying her expression he added quietly, "I know you weren’t obligated to respond, but I had hoped to receive your letters."
Silence stretched between them before Rosalind finally spoke, "I didn’t trust myself not to write what you wanted to hear." She said.
Every time she thought about replying, she found herself wanting to tell him that she missed him, and she wasn’t ready for that.
Rowan was quiet for a second before saying, "I thought the letters never reached your hands."
His voice trailed off briefly before he continued in a lower tone. "Or perhaps because you hated me so much that..."
Rosalind’s brows immediately drew together. "I didn’t hate you," she said firmly before adding,
"I actually read all of your letters."
"Really?" Rowan asked, something shifting in his expression as he looked at her.
Rosalind nodded.
She still had all three hundred and sixty-five handwritten letters tucked away safely in her cupboard.
"At first I couldn’t believe it was you writing them," she admitted honestly. "I thought someone else was writing on your behalf."
Rowan’s eyes narrowed slightly. "I wouldn’t allow anyone to write something that personal for me."
"I figured that out eventually," Rosalind said with a small nod. "It was surprising though. As I kept reading them, I could tell you were genuinely putting in the effort and trying hard to become better, and I just had to appreciate the consistency."
Rowan listened quietly while she spoke. Her voice was gentle, and somehow it made a conversation that should have felt difficult become easier.
Then she gave a small chuckle. "Although some of them were quite interesting. Most of them felt like they were hinting at something else entirely. Let’s just call it progress."
A smile appeared on her face at the end.
Rowan exhaled slowly. "It was hard though."
"I know," Rosalind replied softly, wanting him to understand that she did. "But you became better than before, and that’s what matters, isn’t it?"
Rowan lifted his gaze toward the stars. "During that year it felt impossible at first. But little by little I started reflecting on everything I had done, and I realized how much damage I had caused. I had to look at myself honestly, remember those moments properly, and learn from them."
His voice grew quieter. "It was all because of you... You became a driving force for me."
Although Rosalind appreciated his words, she could not take all the credit for herself.
Even if she had been the trigger, she was not the one who did the work. "It was still your doing," she said. "You became better because you chose to."
A faint smile appeared on Rowan’s face before he looked at her more directly. "Still, Rosalind, I’m grateful you’re a part of my life because with you, things that seem impossible suddenly feel achievable."
Rosalind’s smile softened and for a moment neither of them spoke.
Then Rowan finally broke the silence. "Although the distance only separated us..." His voice trailed off briefly before he continued. "It never changed how I felt about you. Not even once."
Rosalind felt her heart begin to race.
She looked at him for a long moment, and suddenly every letter, every sleepless night, every moment she had spent thinking about him came rushing back at once.
She had tried so hard to protect herself, yet sitting here now, looking into his eyes, she realized she no longer wanted the distance between them.
She had missed him.
More than she wanted to admit.
And she was tired of pretending otherwise.
Before she even realized what she was doing, Rosalind leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss against his lips.
The moment it happened she pulled back, her heart hammering wildly in her chest.
"It didn’t change how I feel about you either..."
For a second Rowan simply stared at her as something inside him sparked.
Nothing during the past year had made him happier than hearing those words leave her mouth.
He then leaned closer, removing the distance between them, and kissed her again.
****
The moment their lips met again, her heart began to race as that familiar warmth returned, making her forget, for a moment, every restraint she had been holding onto.
Rosalind kissed him back, warmth flooding through her as his thumb brushed her cheek and gently tilted her head back, deepening the kiss as he closed the remaining distance between them.
Her lips parted slightly as his kiss grew deeper, and he guided her closer with a steady hand resting at her waist, holding her as though he had no intention of letting go.
Rowan knew he would not be able to stop himself once he had her like this. She felt just as soft and sweet as he had always imagined, and all he wanted was for her to feel how sincere he was without overwhelming her.
Slowly, he eased back, breaking the kiss just enough for her to catch her breath while still staying close to her.
Rosalind pressed her lips together, her breathing uneven as she looked at him. "That was intense," she said quietly, though a faint smile lingered on her lips as she turned her face away slightly, a blush rising despite herself.
"Rosalind..." he called softly, even more gently now, and she turned back to him.
His expression had changed, softer but serious in a way that carried everything he had not said before. "I promise I’ll do everything it takes to fix everything between us," he said, his voice steady with conviction.
Rosalind’s chest rose and fell as she tried to steady her breathing, but her eyes did not leave his.
"Now that I’ve found you again," Rowan continued quietly, "I don’t want to lose you."
