Chapter 82: Safe, Satisfied, and Mine
- DEX -
Seeing Raya’s stitches hurts. I can’t explain it. It makes my chest burn, and every protective instinct that’s been swelling within me for the last week since the accident crests and overtakes me.
It’s confusing, because that protection is threaded through with the desire of having her here beneath me—soft and wanting and perfect and arching with the unspoken offer of her body. And part of me feels like if I take her now, the act of making love might actually heal her. It might be the way to protect her entirely, but I know that’s not true. And those instincts are dueling for control.
Then when she said, "you’re mine. I want you to be mine," it plucked a cord that feels like it’s so deeply strung across my soul. It resonated with my own internal voice that’s been haunting my thoughts with that one possessive word I was referring to earlier tonight that I was afraid might scare her: "Mine."
Raya feels it, too. She’s mine, and I’m hers. And it’s so fucking crazy, but it’s real. I know it like I know there’s breath in my lungs.
So now I’m trying to find a way to demonstrate just how desired she is without going too far that I’m not able to reign myself back in. I refuse to hurt her, and I refuse to create a memory that leaves any trace of scars. Because were Raya to feel the full extent of how much I want her—if I were to completely let go the way she wants—it would not be this gentle. It would not be this patient. I’m positive that in her current condition, I would hurt her in some way, and that wouldn’t be something I could undo or take back.
But after I whisper "mine" against her temple, she comes alive beneath me, tilting her chin to find my mouth and then pulling me down into a searing kiss when she does, punishing me or rewarding me... I’m not sure. It feels like both, because she’s making those little whimpers that make me ravenous. It’s like I need to swallow them all, which only makes her whimper more.
"Fuck, Raya," I groan, pulling away from her mouth but then being drawn instead to her neck. It’s pale until my mouth descends on it and makes the skin blush a beautiful rose from the attention, which only makes me want to do it more. I want to do everything more.
When Raya swiftly pulls her shirt off, revealing the sheer fabric of her bra, I groan louder and rake a hand over my face. How am I going to survive this night protecting her like I want to?
I glance up into her pleading blue eyes and don’t look away, studying her reaction as I massage one breast and gently squeeze that beautiful pink nipple that I have every intention of rolling under my tongue at some point. Raya bites her lip, eyebrows pinching together, body arching toward me. And then I repeat it with the other one, this time freeing her caged lip with my own teeth and delving into her mouth, kissing her deeply until my growls are met with her whimpers. I’m positive I’m going to absolutely lose my mind if I don’t at least make her come tonight.
"You’re not going to hurt me," she says on a harsh breath and reaches for the waistband of my shorts to try tugging them off.
Instead of allowing her that, I snake down her body, tasting her breast through the fabric of her bra before pulling it down so that her soft skin is free and rolling beneath my tongue. I told her not to whimper, but she keeps doing it. And her skin is so divine. The perky nub of her breast is so tempting to bite—I do it gently, the soft putter of a growl marrying with the pale skin of her breast and making me want to devour it even more.
My hand teases the waistband of her pants and dips below where her legs fall open, her own hand descending to cover mine... to stop it or to urge it on. But she presses me further, and when I enter that sacred heat of hers—fingers splaying around the entrance where two plunge deep and beckon that divine pleasure to surface—she whimpers again, head dropping back as her pelvis dips and rides my hand.
I’ve never wanted to give anyone pleasure like I want to give it to Raya, and it’s like I can feel everything she wants—somehow so intimately attuned to the way she wants it. When she finally cries out, trying to restrain the noises coming forth but failing, her face pinches in that cross between agony and rapture until she’s caged my hand against her while her whole body rolls with tremors.
I take her mouth again, reassuring and claiming and promising things... that she’s safe with me. That I won’t take this trust for granted. That this will remain sacred between us always.
Our foreheads kiss while I take back my hand, and then she watches as I stick those fingers in my mouth and savor the taste of her... not wasting even the smallest amount. I want all of her, but for tonight this is already much more than I planned.
She’s safe. She’s satisfied... her face a flushed, rosy color and eyes shining beneath hoods of spent desire. She’s unharmed. It’s perfect. If I can hold her in my arms for the rest of the night, shielding her from nightmares and saving myself from my own, it’s more than enough.
I reach up and caress her face, smoothing her hair back and watching as her lids flutter closed. She was already so tired, and now she smiles pleasantly and hums, head tilting toward me when I kiss her forehead and then lie next to her, pulling her back against my chest and lifting the the blanket to cover us both.
Raya is here. She’s safe. She’s satisfied. And she’s mine.
