Chapter 78: The Slow Way
- RAYA -
"Are you ready for bed? Do you want to stay up for a little bit?" Dex asks as he closes the door behind me and leaves the darkness outside.
"You probably need to get to bed, don’t you? It’s getting late. Unless you plan on missing work again tomorrow," I say with a teasing smile.
"I can stay up." He shrugs with his hands in his back pockets, which gives the appearance that he’s nervous, and it’s really endearing. "Do you want some tea?"
"Sure. I could do tea. That sounds nice."
While Dex is digging through cupboards to find a tea kettle, I deposit my things on the dining room table next to the laptop and return to the island to watch him.
"Do you like herbal teas?" He asks, his voice muffled while he continues his search.
"I think so. I haven’t had too many."
"There’s this one I often drink before bed. It’s relaxing, and it smells good. It should be here somewhere."
He finally recovers the kettle and fills it with water. When he turns the dial on the stove, there’s a familiar clicking sound before a large orange flame ignites and Dex eases it back down, placing the kettle gently over top to let it boil.
"I’ve heard there are electric teapots that boil water really quickly. It’s almost instantaneous," I tell him, resting my chin in my hands and watching the mesmerizing flame he’s started.
"Yeah, I’ve seen them. I like the slow way," he says, shooting me a smile. And I don’t know why Dex saying he likes the slow way sends a spiral of heat through me, but it definitely does.
God, I totally just need to sleep with him—get him out of my system. Maybe then we’ll know what this is all about. Maybe then he’ll get me out of his system, too, and reality will set in that this was all about the dreams rather than reality and that we’re not perfect. That I’m not a principessa and that he isn’t my prince. It can’t be as simple as dreaming him into reality as much as I would really love for it to be. Can it?
All of the small moments we have shared flicker through my mind like a film reel, and I’m reminded of how Dex has been sweet and caring and genuine at every turn. And then tonight when I confessed that I was scared this wasn’t real and he reassured me and called me ’my love’... It felt real. I bite my lip, watching him attend to the kettle and the flame while considering the possibility that this might just be real after all. Maybe he is actually meant to be my happily ever after. And maybe I am meant to be his, too.
Unaware of the detour my thoughts have ventured down, Dex continues talking about making tea as he pulls a teapot off of one of the shelves that’s a beautiful robin egg blue. Two tea cups are retrieved that match perfectly.
"It feels almost like a small ritual with the flame and the water and the time it takes to wait. Enjoying the preparation is about as important as drinking the tea itself."
His voice has a deep, soothing cadence, and I think again how he could easily lull me to sleep with just that comforting sound alone. In fact, he put me to sleep last night now that I think about it.
"Here, I’ll let you investigate it before you decide for sure," he says, pulling a box of tea from out of the pantry and offering it to me. The box is a lavender color with small purple blossoms adorning it.
"Valerian, linden, and passion flower. Hmmm, it smells good. You’re right," I nod and hand the box back to him.
"You want to try it?" His eyebrows angle up in question.
"Absolutely." I smile, and his gaze lingers on me for a moment that once again stirs that warmth inside.
Several bags of tea are dropped into the tea pot while we wait for the tea to boil, and then Dex leans against the opposite side of the island, eyes glancing around the room until they finally alight on me again. And then we share a silent smile.
"Do you suppose we should just sleep with each other and get it over with?" I ask, unable to avoid voicing the thought any longer. I feel like it’s what we’re both thinking.
Instead of busting out laughing like I expect him to, he slowly shakes his head like he’s really given this a lot of thought. "No. I don’t want to just get anything over with."
"What?" The word is automatic... I truly was not expecting that reaction, and it’s confusing.
He squints at me with a crooked smile. "Have you not been paying attention to anything I’ve been saying?"
"About... about the tea?" My eyebrows pinch as I point to the stove.
Dex chuckles, his eyes crinkling at the corners and those dimples appearing behind his beard. Then he walks around the island and sits on the stool next to mine, and he tucks a section of my hair behind my shoulder while he stares at my shirt. But he’s not really staring at my shirt, he’s thinking, and those thoughts are precious... I can tell. I can tell by the way he caresses all the way down my arm and then grabs hold of my hand. I can tell by the way his beautiful honey brown eyes slowly lift to mine and there is an innocence there that I don’t expect.
"With you, I want to cherish it, Auraya," he says softly. "I don’t want to do anything just to get it over with, because I have a feeling..." he sighs and rubs my hand, "I’m not sure how to explain it. But as much as I absolutely want to sleep with you... more than I’ve ever wanted to sleep with anyone," he chuckles and scrubs a hand over his face, "I’m also not in a rush to prove that this is real. I know it’s real. And that’s why I want make sure you are cherished the whole way. Not just a little bit."
"What do you mean?" I ask quietly, completely entranced by his words and his voice and the way he is touching my hand. But I truly don’t know what this ’cherishing’ is that he is referring to.
"You’re still healing from the accident and the surgery," he says, brows threading together. "And you’re here after such a crazy set of circumstances. I don’t want you to feel like I’ve brought you here for any reason other than to help."
"I don’t," I frown, shaking my head. "I don’t feel that way."
"But you might," he suggests. "If we just ’get this over with’ as you put it, you will convince yourself that that’s all this is. Won’t you?"
When I allow myself to think about it, it’s... possible that would be the case. But what kind of excuse is that?
"It’s just that... if it’s just the dreams and the anticipation of living those out in reality that is keeping you interested in me, then I would prefer getting it over with rather than drawing it out. The result will be the same in the end."
There is a sound he makes in his throat... regretful and disappointed. Then he sighs, and his chin drops to his chest. It’s like I’ve wounded him, but I don’t know how. I’m only being honest.
"I don’t want to love you if this isn’t real, Dex," I swallow roughly, finally getting to the root of what it is I really fear.
Sex I can handle, and that’s just fine. Love... love that vanishes is not something I’m sure I can recover from. And that’s what I feel happening. That’s the path my heart is wandering down—just like little red riding hood wandering into the forest. It’s dangerous for a heart to be exposed in that dark and dangerous place.
Dex’s eyes slide back up to mine, and they are no longer innocent. They are burning with the fire of a wolf’s.
"I need to tell you something," he says in a deep, seductive rumble that sets my little hairs on end and teases that deep flame for him to the surface.
"What?" I whisper, my eyes going wide.
"It’s real," he says. "And there’s one word that I haven’t been able to get out of my head that proves it."
I stare at him, waiting in suspense to hear what word that might be... what word has changed his voice into something that sounds so feral and possessive and that calls to me so deeply?
The kettle starts whistling, and we both remain staring at each other while the high pitched noise continues. Then, instead of uttering the mystery word, Dex’s intense expression breaks, and he smiles.
"Not so slow after all, was it?"
