Chapter 57: It Could Be Worse
- RAYA -
It takes awhile for my breaths to return to normal, especially being in the guest house with its two very familiar rooms where some of the best dream sex I’ve ever had went down. But after I eat two absolutely divine strawberry croissants and start unpacking a few of my things and putting them into the drawers and armoire in the loft, a slow peace gradually takes over.
This is a really beautiful place, and the familiarity of having my own things in it makes me relax. There is light coming in from every angle, and I have a view of the pool and the back of the house from the loft window. Sunlight glitters off of the pool water and dances every which way, and I feel it—the thing I was missing before—safety. I wasn’t even aware that it was missing until I somehow found myself nestled in it here—in a stranger’s home, oddly enough. Dex has done that for me.
I take one deep, relaxing breath and reach for another stack of shirts to put away when I finally uncover the journal. Thank God. I hadn’t even worried about it properly until now. It was a risk asking my dad to grab it for me, because who knows if he would be curious about its contents and read it, but it was a risk I had to take. This isn’t something I would want left behind—especially if there’s a chance the creepy peeping tom might get his hands on it.
Now that I have it, I retrieve the second journal that’s in my bag—the one that Dex gave to me—and hold them both side by side. They are, indeed, exactly the same style moleskin notebook. And now they both hold the same kind of secrets, too.
"Maybe I should burn them," I whisper, continuing to stare at the evidence that no one else has seen yet. They are like portals into this mystery that I still haven’t solved. But now at least I know that Dex is in it with me.
’About to go to bed. How are you?’ Rory texts.
’Fine, no worries,’ I send back and smirk when I think of how impossible it would be to even begin to explain the whole truth. ’Wait til you see this house.’
’I can only imagine,’ she replies. ’How are your injuries tho?’
’Sore but good. Recheck in a week.’
’Good. I’ll take you. We’ll be back by then.’
I stare at the text bubbles of this conversation and can’t help but feel a little grateful that these crazy dreams started happening, if only for this alone. Rory and I are talking more again. I missed her. I can’t think of any other single person in the world that I could have revealed these dreams to, and I’m lucky to have her.
Another bubble appears. ’I’m sorry I’m not there, Raya.’
’Don’t worry about it. Enjoy yourself. I’m totally fine.’
But I know her. She’s probably lying in bed, staring at her phone, imagining me in a strange man’s house and feeling responsible for it.
’I have to tell you something.’ She replies.
Yep. That’s exactly what she’s doing. I chuckle.
’?’
It takes several moments of little dots popping up and disappearing and popping up again before her reply finally comes.
’I may have accidentally revealed to Dex that you were dreaming about him.’
Despite the fact that I am certain Dex and I both know we are dreaming about each other now, my heart still plummets like someone has dropped it into the deep end of the pool outside. I just stare at the screen, not even knowing how to reply. When could she have possibly done that? She barely even met him!
’At the hospital?!’ I finally type out, feeling my anxiety climb again... just when I was starting to feel relaxed.
’He was reading that journal in the waiting room that looked exactly like your other one, and I don’t know exactly what I said because I was angry and worried about you.’
I groan and feel instant mortification for an event that has already passed and that I can only imagine the details of. And then the tiniest sliver of doubt enters my mind, and it doesn’t even make sense. But it starts wreaking havoc on that brief moment of peace I was just enjoying anyway.
Even if Dex were just acting like he was dreaming about me—even if he were only intrigued and entertaining this desire to eventually get me into bed because Rory revealed my humiliating secret—it doesn’t explain how I could have dreamed about this kitchen, this bedroom, this shower... does it? There’s obviously a mysterious connection between us that goes deeper.
And there is no way that Dex Mobius would ever have to try that hard to sleep with someone. I’m pretty sure women would just fall head over heels into his bed on a regular basis if he let them.
I wonder if he lets them...
I groan and bury my face in my hands. There is nothing I want to worry about less than whether or not Dex is sleeping with other women. Because he’s not even sleeping with me. And we’re not... anything. We’re not in a relationship. We’ve barely known each other a week.
’Are you sure you can trust him, Raya?’ She sends.
’No, I’m not sure I can trust him. I barely know him! But I trust him anyway.’
’Dreams can do that.’
I click my phone off and toss it on the bed, not wanting to hear any more of Rory’s brutal honesty. So much for enjoying this afternoon. I guess I’m going to stew in doubt about all of this all over again, trying to make sense of it from square one. At least this time it’s going to be while I’m enjoying the beauty of the Mobius guest house. With strawberry croissants. And a kitchen full of all my favorite things.
It could be worse. It could be much, much worse.
I toss the journals on the bed and decide to take the rest of my croissants outside to eat by the pool. I’ve been stuck indoors in the hospital for days, and even if there’s a chance I’m being played by the best actor in the history of humankind, I’m at least going to enjoy the view.
