Chapter 254: Naïveté of Hope
- RORY -
"I don’t trust her," I hiss, pacing back and forth in the bathroom. Raya is standing against the wall. She looks very composed considering the news that was just dropped on us and the woman who just reappeared.
"I don’t either," she admits, crossing her arms. "But we need to hear her out."
"Do we?" I chuckle, but I know she’s right.
Once Patricia said something about dreams, I got up from the table and grabbed Raya, pulling her along with me until we were somewhere alone. Now Dex and Luciano are out there with our parents.
Our parents, plural. It’s so surreal. We have two, and they’re both here.
"We need to be careful, Raya," I sigh, stopping the nervous pacing. "She says she left because she was a danger to us. If that much is true, then I don’t see why anything has changed. That means she might still be a danger. What if she’s just using us to get in with Dex and Luci’s family? To get protection of some kind?"
"Hopefully we’ll get answers. But that means we have to give her a chance to tell us her story," she says, brows threaded together in gentle reprimand.
"We also need to be careful and prepared for any lies," I growl softly.
"I understand, Rory." Her voice is so gentle. I wonder how she does it. "I’m not entirely gullible."
We both stare at each other, lost in thought. Taking a moment to let this sink in a little bit. And then I realize how much Luciano has broken down the barriers around my heart, because the complex tangle of emotions finally begins to unravel now with more tears that I’m safe behind a door where I can be vulnerable. Now that I can admit to myself just how hopeful I want to be. How good it is to see our mother, despite my suspicion. How much I want her to be good and genuine and true.
Raya begins crying, too, and we meet in the middle of the room—wrapping each other in an embrace that I’m not sure we’ve ever shared before. Not like this.
I bury my head in the crook of Raya’s neck and let the deep stuff come out, all of it, until I’m sobbing, clutching onto my older sister, wanting her to have the answers. Wanting to trust her to know what’s best.
Raya’s arms tighten around me, and she buries her head against me, too. We’re two halves to this painful history, but it’s never come to the surface like this. It’s always just been something we’ve never talked about. Until now—now that we’re faced with it.
"It’s going to be okay," Raya finally says. Maybe it’s because I’m clinging to her. Maybe it’s because I’ve never cried like this—not in front of her. But somehow she knows that’s what I need to hear. I need her to be the wise older sister right now. I need her to know what to do.
"Here." She unwraps her arms from around me and takes Nana’s locket off. "I always felt like it protected me."
"No, you keep it," I say, shaking my head, tears still blurring my vision. But she doesn’t listen. Instead, she fastens it around my neck and smiles.
"I’ve had it long enough."
"You should wear it tomorrow, though," I say with a sniff, lifting the golden locket to look at it.
"I want you to have it, Rory. Stop arguing." Then she laughs and dries my cheeks before wiping her own.
There’s a soft knock on the bathroom door, and we both stop breathing for a second to listen.
"Girls?" It’s Patricia’s voice. Our mother’s voice.
Raya looks at me, silently asking permission to open it. I suck in a deep breath and nod.
I have Raya. I have Luciano. I know that any danger our mother might pose is probably only in forcing me to face the pain and hurt she’s caused with her absence—pain and hurt that I’ve buried in order to form an armor of protection.
I like my armor. It keeps me from having to feel things. But maybe I can actually be stronger without it—if I face the hard things. If I let myself feel.
Raya opens the bathroom door, and Patricia is standing there alone. All of the men must still be out on the deck.
"I’m sorry," she says, voice thick with emotion. "There is so much I want to say. I’ve longed so badly to be with you both. I know you’ll never forgive me, and I don’t deserve it. I know I don’t deserve it. But I swear... it was to protect you. I thought it was the only way. Will’s mom, your Nana, she was the best mother. I never met a woman more selfless and loving. I knew she was going to take good care of you. She was... normal. Not dangerous. Not like me."
Patricia’s tears are spilling over, and I don’t see any deceit. Instead, her words are tugging at my heart. Maybe it’s just this naive hope of mine taking control.
I don’t realize I’m holding Raya’s hand until she slips free and hugs her. And for the first time, instead of letting the fear and anger and distrust protect me from giving into vulnerable feelings, I step into the unknown and embrace it and hug Patricia, too.
The familiarity of her scent and her touch is instant and overwhelming. This is a comfort my body recognizes. I’ve been held by her. I know her.
"Mom," I whimper, becoming a knot of arms and tears together with her and Raya.
"I’m sorry," she whispers back, reaching up to cup my head, kissing my cheek and Raya’s cheek, her arms tightening around us. "I’m so sorry. I love you both so much. I’ve missed you so much."
Then she laughs softly and pulls back to look at us. "You’re both so beautiful. And so strong. You’ve done so well. I’m sorry these things happen to us. You definitely inherited it from me."
"What does that mean?" I sniff, wiping my tears. "Are we witches like Luciano thinks?"
"I honestly don’t know," she chuckles. "I didn’t have anyone to tell me either. My mother left when I was young, too. I just know I’ve had weird dreams for as long as I can remember, and I’ve been chased for almost as long. I finally had a period of normalcy when I met your Dad. That was the happiest I’ve ever been. That’s when we had you two."
Luciano arrives at the bedroom door and leans against the doorframe. He’s making sure I’m okay, and I’ve never been more aware than this very moment of my love for him. I love that man so much. I should probably tell him at some point.
I give him a reassuring half smile, and he smiles back. It’s soft, searching. He must find what he’s looking for, because he pushes off the doorframe and disappears again, leaving the three of us to have this moment.
"I came back, because I always hoped my mother would come back. Maybe I’m still hoping." Patricia wipes her tears and glances at the door where Luciano was standing. "And I’ve had dreams about both of you. About what’s been going on in your lives. That’s when I knew it was time to come back, too."
"How did you know about Kenneth Rider?" Raya asks. "That’s not something I shared with Dad. Not even Rory knew until afterward."
"I’m not spying on you," Patricia says, lifting her hand in a silent promise. "Your dad and I saw him on the news, and I knew. I saw him in a dream. I saw Dex and Luciano in dreams, too."
"God, this is so crazy," I groan, sitting in one of the chairs in the bedroom. "I would say I don’t believe you if I hadn’t had dreams, too. And if they hadn’t been warning me about things. But I’ve only had them recently."
"You’ve probably had them longer," she says, perching on the edge of the bed. "You just don’t remember. I think the fact that I’ve come back has probably made them stronger for you two. I don’t know. But like I said, when things started happening to Raya, it scared me. I second-guessed whether it was right for me to have returned. I was afraid I was putting you two in trouble, which was the last thing I wanted. That’s why I left in the first place. But staying at a distance with your father obviously wasn’t helping either. So here we are."
Raya sits on the floor, completing a triangle between the three of us. The silence is heavy and buoyant at the same time. It feels like a weight is being lifted. Weight that has existed for a very long time.
"I’ve missed you so much," Patricia whispers, looking back and forth between Raya and I. "My babies are grown. You’re women. And Auraya, my little ray of sunshine, is getting married."
Raya smiles and pulls her knees up to her chest. I wonder if she realizes the physical block she’s putting between herself and our mother. She’s still wary, just like I am. And I’m sure that’s how it’s going to stay.
"You both have found good men to take care of you," Patricia says, a fresh wave of tears starting to fall that she tries to blink away. "But you’re also so strong as individuals, too."
"Where have you been all this time?" Raya asks. "And you said your mother left. What about your father?"
"I didn’t ever stay in one place very long. I’ve moved around. Stayed with friends I met along the way," she says. "And I didn’t know my father. I was raised by a family friend. An old woman. Her name was Marie."
Her quick replies strike a strange chord, like a note out of tune. It makes me shiver with a sensation that ghosts up my spine. For some reason, Patricia is not telling us the whole truth. Maybe she’s protecting someone—people she feels would be put in danger.
"Who has been after you? Who are the bad people?" I ask, voice rough from crying.
"Well, they seem to come from everywhere," she chuckles without any real humor. "It’s like I’m a magnet. But there’s one group in particular. They’ve gotten me a few times, too. The leader, uh..." She shakes her head and glances at the door, rubbing her arms in a self-soothing kind of way. "Well, it doesn’t matter. I got away. I’ll tell you two about them another time."
"You can tell us now," Raya says, sitting up straighter.
"It’s not a good story. I know you’ve been through a lot, even here at the resort, and I don’t want to add to it more than I already am. Can I see your hand?" She asks me, offering her own.
When I put the injured hand in hers, she winces from the appearance and then covers it lightly with her other hand. Her eyes close, and for a moment I wonder if she’s praying.
"He’s finally going to get what he deserves," she says when her eyes open, and it’s clear she’s talking about Hansen. "I’m glad that part of your life is over, Lorelei. Now you can put it behind you."
"Yeah." That’s all I can manage to say, because the way that she just seems to know so much without being told is eerie. I don’t like it, even if she does mean well.
"That’s what I mean about you two finding the answer to the challenges we face. You were drawn to these men and them to you for a reason. They can protect you. Very few other people would be able to kill or maim or torture people and get away with it. They have connections and a kind of immunity, and you’re both going to need it."
"What?" Raya asks, brows pinching. "Why in the world would we need that?"
"Just in case it doesn’t stop," she says in an ominous whisper. "Unless you want to be on the run for life like me, you’ll need that kind of protection. For you and your children."
