Chapter 189: Just Tired
- RORY -
"Wow, look at those two!" Raya exclaims, pointing to a pair of birds with vibrant red and blue plumage. They are sitting on a branch grooming each other while we walk on the beach overlooking the bay.
The beach seemed a better idea than the rainforest once we began venturing away from the resort’s main building. Hiking is definitely something that I’m going to do while we’re here, but it will require preparation—the right clothing, for one. A trail. A map. Maybe some snacks.
Raya turns back to beam at Dex about the two birds she’s spotted, and I can’t help but chuckle to myself. They are the sweetest couple. The birds as well as Dex and Raya.
Luciano and I shouldn’t be here. My sister and Dex should be enjoying this beautiful experience alone. Instead she and I are walking ahead and the men are trailing behind us far enough that the four of us probably don’t even look like we’re together. Now it really does feel like Raya and I have bodyguards.
"You need to either spend this incredibly romantic walk next to your man or sleep in his cabin tonight," I tell her when she turns back to me.
"His cabina?" She corrects with an emphasis on the last word like she thinks it’s the cutest word in the world.
"Sorry, yes. His cabina." I say it the same way, mimicking her.
"But can’t I just hang out with you tonight? We never spend time together, you know?"
"We have been together more in the past month than since before college," I chuckle.
"That’s different, though. I want to actually enjoy spending some time with you."
"Yeah, I haven’t exactly been enjoyable to be around, have I?"
"That’s not what I mean. You don’t have to be," she says quietly.
Raya looks out across the water and the sun that has started to sink below the horizon, her pale hair whipping around her as my dark hair does around me. I don’t know how she can hide behind hair that light in color. It’s practically transparent. I love that I’m able to disappear behind the dark veil mine creates when it whirls free and wild like this.
"Without traveling to a place like this, it would be hard to believe that it really exists. It looks like something from a movie, but it’s real."
"Exactly. This is a romantic getaway. Don’t waste it on me." I bump into her playfully, making sure she takes the comment as lighthearted as I intend it.
Raya giggles and wraps an arm around my waist, dropping her head on my shoulder while we continue walking. Now we’re watching our similarly-shaped toes sink into the Costa Rican sand as our steps fall in time, and the effects of the alcohol and the long day of travel start to catch up to me. My heart starts fluttering quickly like a butterfly caught in a jar.
"Do you think sand looks mostly the same everywhere?" I mutter the question as it arises in my thoughts, trying to take my mind off of the uncomfortable feeling in my chest. The beaches back home aren’t that much different from this one. At least not when it comes to the sand.
"No," she says quietly. "But I don’t have a lot of experience to go by."
"Something tells me Dex is going to change that," I tell her.
All she does is smile in return.
"Nana told me once that we have mom’s feet," she says quietly, changing the subject.
I remember Nana saying that, but I don’t comment on it. It’s actually something I often think about when I look at the strangely shaped toes on my feet that almost look like little bodies. They’re cute, and it’s an innocent detail that doesn’t leave me with any bitterness toward our absent mother.
"I can’t believe you and Luciano shared a dream, Roar."
"Yeah. It’s strange." I press my lips together, still not sure what to make of it. I’ve never heard of anything like that occurring before Raya’s experience.
"What do you think about his theory?" She asks.
"What? About the dreams having something to do with witches?"
"Yeah."
I shrug. "I think it’s funny. And interesting," I say, pausing for a second to catch my breath. "The detail about his family supposedly hunting witches is really horrible. But I don’t actually think we’re descendants of witches with like... powers or anything if that’s what you mean."
"Yeah, me either," she sighs.
Besides the fact that Luciano’s theory delves into the realm of myth and fantasy, if Raya and I were to actually have the innate ability to dream protectors into our lives, then why didn’t it happen before when I needed it?
A bitterness arises with that thought that I have to push away. ’Why’ and ’what-if’ questions are never helpful when it comes to the past.
"Dex believes we shared past lives together and that has something to do with the dreams. We were meant to find each other again. Maybe that’s the case for you two."
I hum in response instead of snorting derisively like I want to, so tired by this all of the sudden. I don’t have the energy to entertain another theory—especially one as ridiculous as Luciano and I reincarnating together. The shared dream happened, and it’s over.
Raya stops walking and lifts her head. "Rory, are you okay?"
I nod. "Just tired."
She studies me closely, and I want to roll my eyes. Can’t I just be tired?
"Maybe you shouldn’t have drank that much."
"It wasn’t that much," I chuckle, but my chest feels tight and I think maybe she’s right. Maybe it was more than I thought.
I don’t feel drunk, though. It’s just like all the emotional weight that has been plaguing me underwent a swift transformation and is now manifesting itself physically. My limbs are heavy and my heart is unhappy. It wants to escape this cage its in. And how can I blame it?
"What’s up?" Dex asks when he and Luci arrive at our side, and my cheeks flame with heat. I really don’t want anyone fussing over me about how I might have drank too much of all things.
Raya is watching me, and my eyebrows pinch up in a momentary silent plea for her not to say anything about how she’s worried about me. I’m sick of everyone worrying about me, and I’m only on this vacation to be a witness to her and Dex’s happiness. The last thing I want is to become a nuisance who cuts things short tonight.
"I’m just tired," Raya says, turning to Dex with a smile while locks of her golden hair dance and adjusts themselves around her. "Can we sit on the beach for awhile and watch the sunset?"
"Of course." He bends to kiss her, and I glance away, sinking down into the sand—grateful that the sun is setting and the darkness will now help cool the warmth that has risen to my face.
Luciano sits next to me without a word, wrapping his arms around his bent knees and staring out across the water. It seems like he has something on his mind, too, and I leave him to it without asking what it is.
—————
When we return to the cabinas, Dex and Luciano decide to stay for awhile out on our deck, and I leave Raya with them so I can get ready for bed. There’s still a heavy weight on my limbs that hasn’t left. I obviously just need to sleep.
After I’ve changed into comfortable shorts and a t-shirt, Raya slips in and closes the door behind her.
"Can I ask you something?" She looks worried again, and I want to groan.
"Yeah."
"Are you breathless, Roar?"
I lay down in bed and fling an arm over my eyes. "Seriously?"
The bed sinks slightly when she sits next to me. "Yes, seriously."
"I haven’t had an issue since I was a kid."
"When was your last check up?"
I sigh deeply. "It’s just the travel and the alcohol. I’m sorry I’m not fun tonight."
"I don’t care about that," she scoffs.
"Go." I push her with the hand that isn’t shielding my eyes. "Enjoy. Stop worrying."
She doesn’t leave right away, but I don’t move my arm to look at her, and sleep comes swiftly to rescue me from the conversation.
