Chapter 167: Arrangements
- RORY -
Raya dragged me out of the house to go shopping for the trip once she found out I’m coming along. Now we’re looking at clothes, and I’m having to focus enough to make purchases and engage with Raya’s excited dialogue.
There’s nothing like going from hiding away indoors for a month to being thrust into the frenzy of planning a vacation at the last minute. Not that Raya and I have to plan anything other than what to bring. Dex is taking care of all the arrangements.
Once I agreed to go along, I learned that we will be taking a private plane so that the destination is kept a secret. I also discovered Luciano is going—a fact that gives me mixed feelings.
I’m actually really excited and nervous to see Luci again, but I’m also... worried. Worried because I’m not wanting a relationship right now. At all. Especially with someone who has as complicated a life and morals as he does.
But I don’t want to have to shut Luciano down when the time comes either. I enjoy chatting with him in this safe little world of text messages sent between phones. I kind of don’t want to ruin that. But Luci doesn’t seem like the type who would stick around just for friendship.
I’m not sure why Luciano and I coming along doesn’t make Raya suspicious about what the real plan is for this trip. I know Raya is happy I’m coming, because she thinks it will be good for me. But she should know I wouldn’t have agreed to this if there wasn’t a greater reason than just getting out of the city.
Even knowing that Dex and Raya are going to say vows to each other and come back as husband and wife is just barely enough to get me to ditch the comfortable hermit lifestyle I’ve recently adapted to. As much as I want to be there for Raya to represent her family on such a special occasion, I’m still not sure I’ve completely committed to it.
When Raya thrusts a bikini in my face, I seriously consider bailing.
"If you make me wear that, I’m staying home," I tell her honestly.
"What?" She screws up her face and turns the little scraps of fabric to evaluate herself. "This is totally something you would wear. Are you serious?"
"You don’t even know where we’re going," I say, rolling my eyes. "Maybe it will be cold and sweaters are what we should be packing." That would be preferred, honestly.
"Dex said it’s somewhere warm. You will need a bathing suit."
When she wiggles the same bikini in front of me, I groan and grab the nearest one piece.
"This will be just fine."
"Okay. As long as you go, I don’t care what you wear." She shrugs.
"Good. Steer me in the direction of the big floppy hats, coverups, and sunglasses. That will be perfect."
She sighs a little, making me feel guilty for being difficult. I don’t want to douse her excitement. She should be excited, and I should be encouraging that rather than bringing her down.
I groan internally and take the bikini from her like I’m actually considering it.
"Sorry," I mumble.
"Don’t be sorry," she says softly. "I shouldn’t be pushing you."
"No, you should. It’s okay. I appreciate it," I tell her, biting the inside of my cheek and warring back the black mood that has invaded my mind for weeks and not relented. "Does this come in black?" I ask, considering the possibility that I will be able to manage wearing things like this if they at least match my insides.
Without saying anything, she finds a black bikini and hands it to me. There is a small smile on her face—the remnants of her excitement hanging on. But I’ve managed to kill the rest of it.
"Raya..."
"Rory, it’s fine," she says quickly. "Thank you for coming with us. I’m grateful for that. And if you feel like you can’t and you want to stay home, that’s okay, too. I just want you to be comfortable."
"If I stay, will Luci be staying?" I ask, wondering if he is considered my babysitter on this trip.
Her eyebrows pinch together. "What do you mean?"
"I have a feeling he is meant to watch me like he was watching you," I say distractedly, sifting through the other swimsuits.
"He may stay behind, too, but probably because he wouldn’t want to be a third wheel."
"He wouldn’t have to be a third wheel. I’m sure he could pick up lots of girls there. Wherever there is."
My eyes fall on a black one piece with a deep plunge in the front, cut outs on the sides, and a halter that ties around the neck. Well, this is one piece. It’s black. It also happens to be insanely sexy. I briefly consider what Luci’s face might look like seeing me in this—something I definitely should not be imagining. But it might be fun to tease him back for a change.
"This is the one," I tell her. "Ready to move on to dresses?"
———————
- DEX -
All the arrangements are made by the end of the workday Friday, and now there is only the weekend to anticipate leaving.
Thankfully Rory agreed to come along. That way Raya won’t be distracted the whole time worrying about her and unable to enjoy our time together. And I won’t be distracted worrying about her either.
Every time I think about Rory and what happened—every time I see her—I am wracked with guilt. She rarely talks. I hardly ever see her eat. And while moving into the guest house should be seen as a good thing, I’m worried it’s actually her retreating further away from everyone rather than being more comfortable being alone. But I haven’t mentioned that possibility to Raya. I don’t want to worry her further.
What Lawson did the day of Father’s funeral could have been prevented. I should have seen it coming. I was the only one who could have seen it coming, and I didn’t.
I’m hoping that getting out of the house and the city altogether will be therapeutic for everyone. I told Luciano he better be on his best behavior, and surprisingly he didn’t seem to take offense to that.
When I’ve spoken to Luci lately, he’s been a lot different—much more mellow than usual. If I didn’t know better, I would think what happened with Lawson affected him, too. But he’s seen and been through much more than that—things that I don’t even want to imagine—so I know that’s not it.
I’m waiting to hear back from Raya’s dad. I invited him and Luciano’s family for the day of the ceremony whereas Luci and Rory will be staying the whole time. That made it much more difficult to plan the location than I thought.
Typically, I would have chosen a very private destination where Raya and I could be entirely alone and undisturbed by anyone we don’t know. I’m not at all crazy about resorts. I’d rather book a private home on one of the breathtaking Italian coasts. Or stay in a secluded overwater bungalow in the Maldives.
But I have Rory and Luci to think of, and I can’t put them in a room or bungalow together. I also don’t want Rory to feel like my cousin is the only one she’s going to be able to talk to the entire time we’re away if we are completely cut off from the public. Rory should be able to get out and mingle and have a good time too if she wants. But she should also have easy access to her sister if she needs it.
So Raya and I can have the ultra private vacation another time. For this trip, I decided on a luxury resort in Costa Rica that pretty much has the best of everything our unique circumstances require and is available on very short notice. Not only is it breathtaking with many intimate spaces, the area has beautiful wildlife, national parks, and beachfront communities.
It’s going to be amazing. I know Raya will love it. Too much luxury will make her feel uncomfortable, and I know the beautiful nature of Costa Rica will balance that. I can’t wait to see her reaction. And, more than anything, I can’t wait to give her my mother’s ring and make her my wife.
I take the ring box out of my pocket and look at it. I’ve been carrying it around with me, trying to find the best time to give it to Raya. The best time hasn’t presented itself yet, and I’ve almost become attached to having it on me now.
This ring symbolizes my mother and my parents as well as my future wife and I. It’s like a little slice of hope that things can only get better and that we’ll eventually be able to move on from this difficult time.
"Everything is going to be okay," I mutter to myself and put the box back in my pocket to start packing up for the day. Every time I get to head back home to the literal woman of my dreams, it’s the best part of my day.
"Going on vacation I hear?" Laurel says from the door, and I glance up. I was so distracted, I didn’t even hear her come in.
"That’s right."
"When will we get to have you back?" She walks into the office with that same energy that she always carries around me–hips swaying, eyes suggestive. My jaw clenches as I avoid looking at her.
Laurel never stops, and I don’t know how to address it. She never says anything inappropriate, and I’m always as short with her as I can be. But it doesn’t seem to make a difference. Maybe when Raya starts working in the office again, it will put her in her place.
"A few weeks. I’ll be checking in with Jeremy," I tell her. "If anything comes up, I can do a video conference. He knows the deal."
"You deserve a break," Laurel says in a breathy voice and leans on my desk.
This time I do look up, only to fix her with an irritated glare.
"Is there something in particular I can help you with, Laurel?"
It was the wrong question to ask, because her lips tilt up on one side and her gaze rakes over me. Goddamnit.
"Maybe," she says, biting her lip.
When she takes another step toward me, I grab my bag and walk around her. I don’t know what the hell she was about to say, and I don’t want to know.
"If you need anything, Jeremy is the guy to talk to," I say over my shoulder and walk out.
Two weeks. I don’t have to think about this place for two weeks, and then I get to return with Raya as my wife.
