Chapter 68: Ryota Says Later
The hallway was crowded. Students rushed between classes. Lockers slammed shut. The noise was a constant hum. Kaito stood by his locker. He was putting books away. He was taking his time. He was waiting for the crowd to thin.
Ryota leaned against the wall nearby. He was spinning a pen. He watched the flow of students. He watched Kaito. He pushed off the wall when the bell rang. He walked over. He smiled. It was a bright smile. It did not reach his eyes completely.
Ryota said: "Hey. I was thinking."
Kaito said: "About what."
Ryota said: "The arcade. There is a new machine. Fighting game. You owe me a rematch."
Kaito closed his locker. He turned the key. He put it in his pocket. He looked at Ryota. He saw the hope in the expression. It was small. It was fragile. Kaito felt the weight in his chest. It was heavier than the cards.
Kaito said: "Not today."
Ryota said: "Tomorrow then."
Kaito said: "I have patrol."
Ryota said: "You mean errands."
Kaito said: "Yes."
Ryota said: "Okay. Later then."
Kaito nodded. He did not speak. He shouldered his bag. He started walking. Ryota walked beside him. He matched his pace. He did not push. He did not argue. He just walked. The silence stretched between them. It was not comfortable. It was filled with things unsaid.
Kaito thought: That is three times.
He counted in his head. The first time was two weeks ago. The movie. Kaito had said later. The second time was last week. The ramen shop. Kaito had said later. Now this. The arcade. Three times in one month. Three promises deferred. Three moments of normalcy denied.
Kuro said: "He is persistent."
Kaito said: "He is loyal."
Kuro said: "Loyalty gets hurt."
Kaito said: "I know."
Kuro said: "You keep saying later. Later never comes."
Kaito did not answer. He knew it was true. He meant to go. He wanted to go. He wanted to sit in the noisy arcade. He wanted to lose to Ryota at the fighting game. He wanted to eat cheap ramen and laugh at the steam. But the cracks did not wait. The hunger did not schedule appointments.
They reached the classroom door. Ryota stopped. He put his hand on the frame. He looked at Kaito. He looked serious for a moment. The mask slipped. The worry showed through.
Ryota said: "You mean it, right."
Kaito said: "Yes."
Ryota said: "Later."
Kaito said: "Later."
Ryota said: "Okay. I will hold you to it."
Kaito said: "Okay."
Ryota smiled again. It was brighter this time. It was forced. He pushed off the frame. He walked into the classroom. He found his seat. He started talking to the boy next to him. He was loud. He was animated. He was pretending.
Kaito stood in the hallway. He watched through the window. He saw Ryota’s hands. They were moving. They were nervous. He was compensating. He was filling the space Kaito left empty. Kaito turned away. He walked to his own class. He sat at his desk. He opened his notebook.
He did not write about the cracks. He did not write about the entities. He turned to a fresh page. He wrote one word.
He wrote: Later.
He looked at the word. It was small. It was harmless. It was a lie. He put the pen down. He clasped his hands. He listened to the teacher talk. The words were distant. The guilt was close.
Kaito thought: I am protecting him.
That was the reason. That was the excuse. If he spent time with Ryota, he was distracted. If he was distracted, he was slow. If he was slow, people died. It was a simple equation. It was a cold logic. It did not feel like logic. It felt like abandonment.
Kuro said: "You are brooding."
Kaito said: "I am thinking."
Kuro said: "Thinking does not fix the promise."
Kaito said: "No."
Kuro said: "He knows you are lying."
Kaito said: "He hopes I am not."
Kuro said: "Hope is fragile."
Kaito looked at the back of Ryota’s head. He was leaning forward. He was listening to the teacher. He was trying to be a good student. He was trying to be normal. Kaito was failing at being normal. He was succeeding at being a keeper. The trade-off was uneven.
The bell rang for lunch. Students stood up. They stretched. They talked. Ryota turned around. He looked at Kaito. He grinned. He held up two fingers.
Ryota said: "Two weeks. I am giving you two weeks."
Kaito said: "Okay."
Ryota said: "Do not make me come get you."
Kaito said: "You cannot."
Ryota said: "Try me."
Ryota laughed. He turned back. He gathered his friends. They left the room. They went to the cafeteria. They went to the noise. Kaito stayed. He opened his bag. He took out his bento. He ate alone. The food was cold. It tasted like rice. It tasted like solitude.
Kaito thought: I will go next time.
He promised himself. He made the vow internally. He would clear the schedule. He would seal the cracks early. He would find a night where nothing happened. He would go to the arcade. He would win the game. He would say yes.
Kuro said: "You say that every time."
Kaito said: "I mean it."
Kuro said: "Intent does not change reality."
Kaito finished the rice. He closed the box. He put it away. He stood up. He walked to the window. He looked out at the city. The sky was blue. The clouds were white. It was a good day. It was a wasted day.
The afternoon passed. The sun set. The school emptied. Kaito walked home. He did not take the main road. He took the alleyways. He checked the cracks. They were sealed. The city was quiet. The hunger was sleeping.
He reached his apartment. He climbed the stairs. He unlocked the door. He stepped inside. The room was dark. He did not turn on the light. He walked to the desk. He placed his bag down. He took off his jacket. He hung it up.
He looked at the phone. It was on the desk. There was a message. It was from Ryota. It was sent an hour ago.
Ryota said: "Found a coupon. Valid tomorrow. Just saying."
Kaito looked at the screen. The light was bright in the dark room. He typed a reply. He deleted it. He typed again.
Kaito said: "Maybe."
He sent it. He put the phone down. He lay on the bed. He stared at the ceiling. The shadows danced in the corner. They looked like entities. They looked like promises.
Kaito thought: I am a bad friend.
He was a good keeper. He was a good summoner. He was a good wall. But he was a bad friend. He broke promises without meaning to. He hurt people without touching them. He isolated himself without wanting to.
Kuro said: "It is the cost."
Kaito said: "I know."
Kuro said: "You pay it every day."
Kaito said: "Yes."
Kuro said: "Is it worth it."
Kaito said: "Yes."
Kuro said: "Even this."
Kaito said: "Especially this."
Kaito closed his eyes. He slept. He did not dream. He dreamed of an arcade. He dreamed of a machine flashing lights. He dreamed of Ryota waiting. He dreamed of himself walking away.
He woke up before the alarm. He was tired. He stood up. He washed his face. He looked in the mirror. His eyes were dark. They were tired. He put on his jacket. He checked the cards. He opened the door.
He walked down the stairs. He passed the second floor. The step was empty. He walked out into the morning. The city was waking up. The people were moving. The life was flowing.
He saw Ryota at the gate. Ryota was waiting. He held two cans of coffee. He handed one to Kaito. He smiled. It was real. It was resilient.
Ryota said: "Morning."
Kaito said: "Morning."
Ryota said: "Coupon still valid."
Kaito said: "I know."
Ryota said: "Good."
Ryota walked beside him. They went to class. They sat at their desks. They listened to the teacher. Kaito touched his pocket. The phone was there. The message was there. The promise was there.
He would not keep it. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Maybe not ever. But Ryota would keep asking. And Kaito would keep saying later. And the space between them would grow. And Kaito would carry the weight.
It was the price of the silence. It was the cost of the cards. It was the ache of the double life.
Kaito kept walking. He did not look back. The shadow followed. The light remained. He was ready.
The day began.
