Catrin took the brown book in her and Ryan, who stood on the side eyed it suspiciously.
"You can go back and do your work, Mr. Carl," she said, and nodding to her, the butler soon left.
Once he was gone, Catrin turned to look back at Ryan.
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She didnât say anything; simply kept her gaze on him. Ryan waited for a while but when he felt his patience thinning, he asked, "What is that?"
Catrin heard him and tilted her chin a little with a confident smile. "Didnât you ask me how I can make you believe?" She raised the brown book in her hand and tilted her chin towards it. "Here," she said, "I will do it with this diary."
"Diary?" Ryan glanced at the brown book and then turned back to look at Catrin, who nodded to him as sure as before.
"Since Arwenâs early years, neither I nor Idris have time for Arwen," she said as she walked closer to take a seat down across Ryan. "We were too busy with the company, so most of the time, Arwen used to stay alone at home. At that time, she developed this habit."
She put down the diary on the table. "The habit of journaling her talks, her emotions, her feelings, her wishes and everything. As long as she would feel something, she would write it down," she said and then slowly pushed the diary towards him.
Ryanâs expression turned complicated. He stared at the diary, trying hard to decipher the meaning behind all that he was listening to. But still, everything was sounding so surreal that it was difficult to bring himself to believe.
"Y-You mean she wrote about me in this book?" he asked, trying to confirm his thoughts for real. Deep in his eyes, one could see the desperation.
Catrin matched his gaze. "What donât you take a look and see if she had mentioned you in there or not," she said and then nodded to the intention she suggested to him.
Ryan gazed down at the brown book and hesitated. It was Arwenâs diary. Looking into it wouldnât be something she would want, but he was truly desperate to know if she had written about him anywhere or not.
He struggled for a while to decide whether he should or should not. In the end, his desperation got the best of him and he leaned forward to grab the book in his hand. His fingers tightened around its corner, making the padded cover of the book press under his strength.
"This âŠ"
"Itâs fine, Ryan," Catrin spoke in an empathetic tone. "Take a look. You should look into it to know if what was there between you and Arwen was just an arrangement between the two families or something more.
Ryan swallowed the lump he felt deep in his throat. Sifting his thoughts, he finally decided and opened the book to check. He didnât begin from the first page, rather he chose to randomly open the book.
If the page he opens doesnât turn out to be the one she mentioned to him, he wonât look further.
But when he opened the diary, his eyes caught something he couldnât look away from. His gaze stilled on the page and his expression froze when he found his sketch drawn across the page.
She drew him âŠ
She drew him so beautifully âŠ
"You found your answer I guess," Catrinâs voice pulled Ryan out of his trance.
Ryan glanced up at her, confused. A lot was going in his thoughts but he couldnât even figure out one. It was like he was confused, after getting an answer to all his questions.
"Was it really Arwen who drew this?" he asked.
Catrin gazed at the sketch. "Thatâs you during your high school days, isnât it?" she asked, before adding with more meaning. "If I remember right, that was the time when you two started going to the same school and I asked you to take care of Arwen because she had recently recovered from her accident. You were really good to her. You used to even spend time together a lot. I think it must be that time she drew you."
Ryan gave a second glance at the picture and he remembered when it could be of. His heart pounded slightly when he remembered the time.
He was in the senior class when he went to the library after Arwen. She wasnât feeling well that day, so he was concerned for her. But later she didnât let him sit along with her.
She always kept him at a distance. She wasnât rude, but she was too polite to allow him any closer to her which started infuriating him later. Since she was still recovering and didnât look good, he still chose to stay close by and look after her. However, he soon fell asleep and only woke up when she was gone. Experience more on freewebnovel
It seemed that day, she did notice him there and drew him in his book.
His lips curled up a soft smile when he remembered that time when they were so young. She would not act close but would still make an effort to look after him when he needed her. There were times when she would bring him the snacks and attend the matches he participated him.
All of that did hold a meaning that he could only understand now âŠ
"Ryan, I hope you got your answer today," Catrin said as if already giving up. "If you havenât then you can take the book with yourself and figure out. I am not going to say another word to you. Because after saying it all, there is nothing left for me to say. You have to decide on your own."
With that, she stood up, already putting an end to the conversation, leaving Ryan to ponder on his own. Turning, she was ready to leave, but she halted in her steps and said, "The lunch is ready. If you are fine, you can stay for it."