Chapter 116: _Baby Steps
Celeste’s POV
*****
"I’ll start first."
An eternity must’ve passed since I said that.
Every pair of eyes on the table was pinned on me, waiting patiently for me to begin the discussion.
But no matter how much I tried, it seemed like I couldn’t get any words out. I swear, they were at the tip of my tongue. Saying them out though felt—
"Uhm," Luther coughed, sticking his pinky in his nose. "Any second now would be fine."
I noticed the way Silas kicked him under the table as Atlas shot him a glare. Luther sighed, placing his arms on the table while continuing to wait.
That was it.
The path to my first topic.
"I..." I took in a deep breath, fiddling nervously with my fingers underneath the table. Silas found my hands, clasping not too tightly but firm enough to keep me grounded. Then, "... I’m not going to lie. I’m attracted to all of you. Like deeply attracted."
Silas’ grip faltered for just a split second.
Yet he didn’t let go, rubbing my fingers to let me know it was okay.
Rolling my tongue between my teeth, I went on. "I only agreed to a monogamous relationship with Silas because... Because the rest of you had one issue or the other." My eyes flicked to him. And his hazel orbs. "He’s the only one who’s chosen me over and over again since the very beginning of the bonds."
Luther made a disgruntled noise. "Celeste, I was under a spell. If Lysandra hadn’t—"
"But what happened still happened, Luther," I whipped my head to him, watching the way his mouth shut. "Regardless, you should understand how hurtful it is. I was crushed. Utterly wrecked and humiliated."
Stretching my neck forward, I swept my gaze past each of them.
From Luther’s barely restrained guilt and anger. To Atlas’ watchful calm. And Azrael’s... Stillness.
My eyes trailed to Luther again. "If the case were reversed. And you caught me with Silas. No mate bonds, no nothing. Then later we all find out it’s a spell—"
"I’d understand, Celeste." He insisted. "I–I mean, I’d try to understand. Figure things out and—"
I didn’t wait for him to finish, pulling my hands out of Silas’ grip. I proceeded to grab my boyfriend by the chin, ignoring his widened eyes before I kissed him.
Almost instantly, I felt the taut snap of Luther’s bond. His anger skyrocketed, a cold possessiveness bubbling beneath the surface.
Azrael didn’t react outwardly. But the bond went quiet in a way that felt dangerous.
That was all I needed.
Pulling away from Silas, I angled my face to Luther. "Tell me how that made you feel."
His jaw ticked, blue eyes gleaming with something I couldn’t name. "What are you trying to prove?"
"I’m not trying to prove anything, Luther." I smiled sarcastically. "Just turning the mirror to you so you’ll see a fraction of how it felt for me. Except in your case, Lysandra wasn’t a mate. You... You both made it seem like I was worthless. Like I deserved being thrown like trash."
Luther straightened in his seat, looking away. "This is too messy. I—"
"Messy is good, Alpha," Atlas mumbled. "Let her finish."
With a strained huff, Luther brought his face back to me. He barely maintained eye contact, overflowing with guilt, shame and so many emotions rushing in at once.
My fingers twitched on my lap, struggling to stay still. "I... Love you, Luther." The words slipped out before I could stop them. But Atlas said we should let the truth out.
Well, here it is.
I turned to Silas, a pang of guilt hitting my chest. "My... My feelings for Luther never went away. As much as I tried turning them into hate. And the truth is, I don’t even know if our relationship is us delaying the inevitable."
Silas’s features seemed calm at first.
He said nothing for several seconds even though all attention was now placed on him and Luther.
Seeing this, I spun my neck to Atlas and Azrael. "Without... Wasting more time. Atlas, I feel like you’ve held back too much. With me. Every interaction feels like you’re trying to tone yourself down or something."
The witch gave a wry smile. "I wanted to be patient. With Azrael and Silas already circling you, I wanted to give you a chance to choose."
I shook my head. "Choose? How do I ’choose’ when you almost made yourself invisible? From the very first night we met, I thought you were this unapproachable, aloof guy."
That earned me a soft chuckle.
He lowered his head, arms folding in front of his chest. "Truth is, I hate sharing."
Azrael chimed. "I believe we all do."
I smiled.
This conversation really was helping. Or, I think it was.
Silas was still silent beside me after my confession about Luther.
As for the latter, I could feel how ecstatic he was through the bond.
But it really was the truth.
Luther Hale would always be my first love. As much as I tried denying the feelings all these days—they were real. And now they were out.
"Well," Silas started all of a sudden, finally bringing his eyes to me. A warm smile tugged his lips as he raised a hand to my face. "Thank you for being honest, love. You know—I’ve always said I’ll be fine if you were with the others."
He stopped for a breath. "I wanted you to be my girlfriend because I truly like you. My nights and days are consumed with you in ways I’ve never felt with anyone. And I was..." His lips quivered. "I was afraid of losing you. Afraid perhaps Azrael or even Luther would take all your attention if I didn’t share my feelings first."
Atlas made a dramatic sound just then. "By the spirits, even the quiet one doesn’t know I exist."
At that point, we all laughed. Even Azrael managed to crack a smile.
The atmosphere stayed that way—alive and warm—for several seconds.
After the silence settled again, I exhaled. "Silas, I think this means we... Can’t be monogamous anymore." I pinned my eyes on his. "I can’t continue to ignore these feelings. Or lie to you or myself."
He smirked at me, leaning in until he left a kiss on my cheek. "If that’s what you want... I’ll be willing to compromise. For you, I’ll share."
Heat crawled up my neck.
Gods, these men really were my undoing.
"So what now?" Luther’s tone was almost bashful. "Do you want all of us as your boyfriends?"
Azrael snorted. "Boyfriend sounds too... What do you call it? Cheesy."
Luther pivoted to him. "Oh, right. Sorry grandpa. Is there—?"
"Guys." I raised my hands. "Right now, let’s just finish eating. We’re... Taking baby steps. And we still have another two days here."
For a moment, it felt easy. Almost fragile in its simplicity. Four pairs of eyes. One table. No pretending. No spells. No shattered plates.
But as I reached for my glass, the bond pulsed again — softer this time. Not pain. Not anger.
Possession.
And not from one of them. But from all of them.
I swallowed slowly.
’Baby steps,’ I had said.
But something told me that loving four powerful men was never going to be small.
