Chapter 496: 2, 3, 4, 5 Demon Ain’t Got no Alibi
"WEEEEEE’VEEE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHTTT!"
The demons roared at their leaders’ show of ringmanship, their anticipation reaching a near fever pitch.
Malachi paced back and forth inside his tunnel, his mind solely focused on the four opposing presences he could feel on other sides of the arena.
"You should let me fight with you."
Malachi faced Anna. His feline eyes showed a noticeable resistance.
Before he could even say anything, Anna pointed her finger in his snout.
"Now, before you start, I’m just going to trump your argument before you can even get it out. I’m not useless, I’m not some fucking Mary Jane who just has to sit waiting in the wings while you swing off to punch gods in the face."
"Mhm."
"I didn’t come all the way to hell with you just to get felt up by some powerful old woman and then have great sex. We could have just stayed at home and called your mom if that was the case!"
"Woulda saved us a lot of time."
"Exactly! Look, I might not be the child of a big-time goddess or something, or even like a mystical alien baby who apparently lives for as long as they damn well please, but I can do something! I can help you, especially when the odds are already unfair and-"
Malachi licked Anna on her face, shocking her and cutting off her words. It seemed to send her brain into a hard reboot.
Her next words were entirely unexpected.
"Okay, now I’m not looking for like judgment or anything, but I’m just gonna ask... Could you do that again, in a different place, once we get back home?"
Malachi tilted his head. "Since when are you a furry?"
Her face immediately became beet red.
"T-This new body is giving me some very strange ideas and some new fetishes, okay!? Is that a problem?? You never seem to mind when Nadine or Bianca ask, but now that it’s me you want to poke fun and make me say embarrassing stuff and-"
Malachi licked her face again just as Lucifer called his name to take the stage. Pulling away, he jerked his head toward the colosseum.
"You coming or what?"
"Not right now, but I will be when we get home."
"Huh?"
"N-Nothing, let’s go stomp those fuckers!"
Chuckling, Malachi began his prowl toward the colosseum grounds. His claws, as well as the spines on his back and even his teeth, grew by more than a few inches.
The muscle underneath his flawless coat stretched to accommodate his growing skeletal structure. In only a short moment, Mal was already more than fifteen feet tall.
Just before he crossed the threshold, he looked back to find Anna at the very same place he’d left her before, facing away from him.
"...What are you doing?"
"J-Just give me a second, please, cleaning up an aisle spill here!"
-
Of the Ars Goetia, Rank 2, Duke Agares, was perhaps the most infamous. A lackadaisical man with a beautifully androgynous appearance and glossy jade skin. His shadowy black hair was the same color as the cluster of dark wings attached to his back.
Rank 3 Prince Vassago was of the same nature as Agares, but possessed a much less popular appearance. Taking the form of a rather withered witch with permanently white eyes and strings of ratty gray hair falling out of his head. He was said to be rather good-natured for a demon.
Rank 4 Gamigin is a Great Marquis whose preferred appearance was that of an anthropomorphic horse with four arms. He was usually quite slender, but for some reason, today, he had chosen a more muscular build and outfitted himself with armor.
At Rank 5 stood President Barbas. A demon who, coincidentally, took the form of a great lion nearly indistinguishable from an ordinary one. That is, aside from his dark red eyes and the set of demonic scriptures tattooed across his muzzle.
"My word. Does anyone have some kitty litter on standby?" Agares joked. "We might need it soon, it seems."
The demons laughed rambunctiously. It was difficult to say whether they actually found Agares funny or were simply frightened by him. The Second of the 72 was famous for a rather flippant temperament.
"Everyone, have no fear! After I win this contest, you’ll all be allowed to come and join the petting zoo!"
More laughter arose from the demons, and Agares looked immensely pleased with himself.
"Geez, we got the world’s only funny fem-boy over here." Anna rolled her eyes.
Her attitude drew attention to the fact that there was seemingly another unnamed participant. But given the fact that she was floating in close proximity to Malachi, everyone aptly assumed her to be on his side.
"Bringing a woman in to fight with you..? How much lower can you fall, Son of Nyx...?" Barbas mocked.
"An illogical choice, no doubt. But the greater concern is whether or not it is a flagrant breach of the rules." Gamigin turned to face the announcer’s box, where Lucifer sat with a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses.
"What say you, my lord? Has the newblood disqualified himself?"
Lucifer slowly raised his fist. With bated breath, the entire arena waited for his absolute decree.
When he turned his thumb downward, a wave of cheers ripped from the crowd, and the horse demon gnashed his teeth.
"You seem disappointed."
The way Malachi prowled around the stadium, you would believe it was his den, and everyone inside could only be his prey.
"I guess you aren’t confident in beating me yourself if you’re counting on technicalities."
Gamigin sneered openly. "You guess because you do not know. And your lack of knowledge on how you should conduct yourself among your betters is what will be your undoing-"
"I wonder if this is what the donkey-dragon babies from Shrek would have turned out like if the designers spent lots of time on Rule34." Anna thought aloud.
Needless to say, the demons didn’t have the foggiest idea of what she was talking about, but Gamigin was aptly offended.
He pointed a clawed finger at her. "You have no place to speak here, harlot. This is-"
*Burp.*
Anna scratched her stomach lazily, simultaneously twirling her pinkie around in her ear. "Hey, so, do we do this thing like one or one, or is it like a free-for-all thing..? I want the horse guy."
Malachi shrugged. "You can do what you want. I’ve got your back."
"Well, ain’t you just the sweetest?"
Anna floated away from her husband, landing on the ground just shy of the twelve-foot horse demon.
"Alright, big guy. I talked a lot of shit to look cool in front of my hubby over there. You have to at least make me look goo..."
Anna suddenly patted her pockets.
She checked her front pockets, back pockets, jacket pockets, and even her bra.
Lastly, she turned back to Malachi with a small pout on her lips. "Hey... You got my...?"
A pair of Bluetooth headphones rose out of the shadows at her feet. Anna immediately sighed in relief.
"Oh, thank fuck..."
As she slipped her headphones in and cranked up the volume to a concerning level, the air around Anna changed considerably.
"Alright, asshole. Let’s get it crackin’."
