Chapter 494: Bring Em’ Out
Malachi waited for no more than a second before Lucifer popped up in front of him.
This was perhaps the first time that Mal could say he’d seen the dark lord angered.
With traces of shampoo wetting his golden hair and chiseled physique, it wasn’t hard to see why. He pointed a rubber ducky in Mal’s face, and the young demon felt death breathing down his neck.
"Mark this, Malachi Saint. I am no spineless cur to be called upon at a whim. You would do well to- Hey, why’s your wife down here?"
Lucifer gazed past Malachi to Anna, who was hovering in the air without flapping her wings.
It was a little bit difficult to recognize her at first, but the incredibly well-done tattoos next to ones that looked like they were done in a trailer park were something of a dead giveaway.
Anna held up two fingers. "Sup."
"...Sup."
"How dare you!"
Naberius appeared in front of Anna, teeth bared, eyes like oceans of molten metal.
"Incorrigible young sow! You are not fit to-"
Malachi and Lucifer backhanded the demon with no discernible effort. They did not even break their conversation to look away.
"I want your best. Let me challenge your number one right now."
Lucifer crinkled his nose as he continued washing his hair. "Bael? Are you actually out of your mind?"
"Just impatient."
"You may want to temper that, Malachi. You’ve been knocking around fledglings so far, but it’s still best for you to work your way up. The top fifteen of the Goetia are gods in nearly every sense of the word."
"And?"
"And they won’t just lie down for you like the rest. You might not be aware of this, but... they don’t exactly like you."
Malachi gave the dark lord a droll stare. "Wow. You really keep your ear to the ground in this place, huh?"
"I try." Lucifer shrugged.
Malachi shook his head in annoyance. "All you and the others want is to be entertained, right? What does it matter to you if the odds are unfair?"
Lucifer looked as if he were seriously mulling over the idea. But Anna grabbed her husband from behind and pulled him away.
"Hey...What are you doing here...?"She whispered.
Malachi instantly felt guilty as soon as he heard the underlying concern in Anna’s voice.
"I know it sounds crazy, but... Just trust me. I need a way to get the demons off my back for good. The only way they’re going to do that is if I’m high enough up the food chain."
Anna bit her lip awkwardly. "Mal, I’ve seen you pull off a lot of crazy things before, but fighting beings who are basically gods is..."
"Losing faith in your husband already?"
He smiled at her.
"You know it’s not about that, but-"
Mal took her waist into his hands and pulled her body against his. Everything that Anna wanted to say a second ago was suddenly trapped in her throat.
Her husband had always been something of a weakness for her. But after Lilith ’awakened’ her, it was like every time she touched him, her brain turned to mush, and she forgot all about how frustrating he could be.
She had no idea that she had the exact same effect on him.
"I promise... I’m not going to let anything stop us from living our lives together. I won’t miss any more time with you, or our wives, or-"
"The girls...?"
Mal looked away from her quickly. Anna gently placed her fingers against his chin and turned his gaze back toward her.
Even years later, guilt still poured off him in waves.
"...I won’t miss any more important moments. Nothing can be allowed to jeopardize that."
Anna was at a complete loss for words. Her mouth had barely opened when a sniffle broke the silence.
"You two are both... Just so adorable..!"
The Dark Lord and his rubber ducky, Quak-cifer, were both overcome with volatile emotions as they watched the pair of young lovers embrace each other in earnest.
It wasn’t really all that common to see a blooming love of any kind in Hell. Ordinarily, such a sight would have made Lucifer sick to his stomach, but the fact that Anna wasn’t quite human helped immensely.
"I’ll tell you what... You kids have moved me this day, and not many are able to say that. I’m thinking of a special deal just for the two of you."
Anna leaned into Malachi’s ear.
"Does that mean he’s going to ask to play in our butts...?"
Whispering didn’t do much good when the ruler of hell was practically omnipotent in his realm. Lucifer didn’t know if he should be offended or view her suspicion as a natural consequence of his reputation.
"I don’t know, it doesn’t seem like his thing, but make sure we don’t agree to any deals that are too vague." Mal whispered back.
Lucifer changed his mind. He was definitely offended.
"...You want Bael, right? I can arrange for you to get to him... but it’ll be a bit of an uphill battle. Are you sure you’re ready for that?"
Malachi’s eyes narrowed. "Define ’uphill’."
"Well, I’m sure you know that there are some who are closer in power to Bael who have more of a right to challenge him than you. I can’t just go playing favorites."
"You’re older than Ouranos and Gaia, I’m pretty sure you can do just about whatever you want."
"...Fair point, but it’ll set a bad example. As such, I think it’s only fair that we turn this one-on-one match into a bit of a fatal four-way ordeal."
Malachi’s frown deepened.
"Oh, come now, young man. Surely, you should expect this much when you’re talking about something that would cut the longevity of our contract short. I have to be aptly satisfied with this development as well, you know?"
Malachi looked a bit unsure. A sentiment that was shared by Annalise.
Because he could tell that he was on the verge of losing them, Lucifer sweetened the pot even further.
"You know... The first trinity of the Ars Goetia are a bit different from the rest of my legions. They form the Stygian Council."
Anna raised her hand.
"Oh, they’re like my advisors."
Anna put her hand back down.
"It’s quite a high value, privileged position, you see." Lucifer nodded. "In fact, since their wisdom, intellect, and strategy are all so valuable to me... I pretty much allow them to do their own thing."
Malachi arched a brow in suspicion.
"What, can’t believe it? Well, it’s true." He shrugged. "I give them a simple call when one of our other domains is under attack, or when we’re looking to expand and-"
"Wait, wait, wait..." Malachi held up his hand abruptly. "...Other domains? As in other worlds? Beyond just Pluto??"
Lucifer grinned at Malachi. The sinister nature of his amusement was written across his face as clear as day.
"Oh, there is so much that they don’t tell you in those little books you’re always carrying about... You’d think he’d send someone down to update them from time to time, but I suppose his condition doesn’t really allow that."
Mal’s head was swimming with questions. He had not often been curious about the nature of demons or their society, but he had to admit that his interest had been piqued.
Unfortunately, Lucifer didn’t really seem like he was going to give him anything more than just a few bread crumbs.
"Aaaanyway! The Stygian Council lead more relaxed lives than the others. Bael’s a bit of an exception as he’s always been a bit of a stick in the mud, but he keeps a firm hold on the rest of the Goetia because he has quite the vision for the demon race, you see. But I don’t really ask him to do anything.
Answer my calls maybe once every quarter century or so, show up to the meetings at the appointed time, give me a bit of wisdom, and return to whatever he was doing beforehand. That’s really all there is to it, unless... You would prefer to get your hands a little dirtier. Then, there are always things to do if one looks hard enough."
Lucifer appeared in his standard black suit and leather shoes. His gilded cufflinks bore the image of a demented goat’s head.
"So, what do you think? Sounds a bit more worth your while now, doesn’t it?"
