“I don’t really have anything to discuss, though.”
I said it plainly, but the Personnel Director only smiled faintly.
“Everyone says that.”
“No, I mean it.”
I replied quickly, flustered.
But Ju didn’t seem to take my answer seriously. He asked me to spare him a bit of time—said to greet the Choi siblings and then come to his office.
Ami, who had been quietly listening, waved her hand.
“Well, I’ve seen your face, so I’ll get going!”
She took my brief greeting and disappeared just as lightly as she had come.
The small senior who had arrived bustlingly left just as briskly.
My mentor didn’t follow her and stayed in place.
“I’ll take him afterward.”
“Ah. So you didn’t just come to see him off.”
Ju smiled pleasantly but didn’t say to take me first.
Instead, he asked brightly, “Might take a while, that all right?”
It looked like a vein was about to pop on my mentor’s forehead.
I could understand his dislike of Erich, but I still didn’t know why Yun hated the Personnel Director this much. From the moment I first met my mentor, he had always disliked Ju.
Anyway, Yun frowned and replied,
“It’s late, so please finish quickly.”
Ju smiled gently.
***
But really, I had nothing to say.
Even after finding myself sitting alone with the Personnel Director in his office, I couldn’t think of a topic.
Talking about it wasn’t going to help anything.
Still, if I told him I had nothing to say, he wouldn’t let me leave. So I had to bring up something superficial—perhaps say I couldn’t find my sense of identity because of my missing memories. That might satisfy him.
Just as I thought that, Ju, who was sipping burdock tea, smiled lightly.
“Normally, any Badger can get a personal counselor whenever they want.”
“Ah, I see.”
“But I figured you wouldn’t feel comfortable opening up to a civilian.”
Ju smiled as he pushed a tray of refreshments toward me.
Sweet-smelling baked treats filled the air.
I didn’t refuse and picked up a gorgonzola financier.
“Thank you for your concern. But really, there isn’t anything particular I want to talk about.”
“I thought so. You probably think even if you talk, nothing will change.”
My eyes widened.
Ju’s eyes softened.
“You seem to think you don’t even have the time or the right to suffer.”
Had someone told him about me?
I stayed silent for a while, just sitting in the chair.
Most people had already gone home. But the Personnel Director, who was famous for leaving the office exactly at four, was right here in front of me. He was impeccably dressed, smiling quietly, waiting for my response.
The man whose innate gift made even Yehyeon reluctant to replace him.
“You can’t even allow yourself to cry and let things out, can you?”
He said something strange.
“Excuse me?”
“If I said I wouldn’t let you go until you let your emotions out, you still couldn’t do it, could you?”
Ju’s eyes gleamed clearly.
A strange sensation—like he was seeing straight through me.
I quietly set down the financier I’d been about to eat.
“Yes.”
Even if I lied, he wouldn’t believe it.
“I couldn’t do it.”
“When did that start?”
“...I’m not sure.”
Truthfully, it started after Yehyeon told me about the sword.
But that was something I had no intention of admitting. Nor could I. I avoided saying anything that might find its way back to Yehyeon.
Ju seemed to sense that much and smiled bitterly.
“Then tell me when the time comes, will you?”
“Yes. If a day comes when I’m ready...”
“When you’ve finished what you set out to do, make sure you tell me.”
My eyes widened again.
Ju only smiled and said nothing more. He didn’t explain how he knew all this.
Now it was starting to feel a little frightening.
“When you finish what you want to do, don’t make a foolish decision afterward.”
But if I didn’t, it wouldn’t be atonement.
“Dying is never atonement.”
Ju added the words as if he’d read my mind.
I stayed silent, chewing over his words.
It didn’t sound like mere comfort. He had a point. If I were in his position, I’d have said the same thing.
But my case was different.
And because it was different, my answer came easily.
“Then I’ll ask before I decide.”
Ju blinked.
This time, I smiled.
I couldn’t explain everything, but talking to him helped me organize my thoughts.
“At the final moment, I’ll do as the one who resents me decides.”
Most likely, they would wish for my death.
The Personnel Director observed me for a long time.
He said nothing for so long that the tea in his cup went cold. He didn’t ask who those resentful people were, nor why I intended to obey them.
Eventually, he sighed when he saw my calm smile—a sigh laced with quiet resignation.
“Then, when that final moment comes, think of us too, even if just for a second.”
That was what he said as he stood up.
“I hope that thought will change your mind at the last moment.”
But Personnel Director, I have no choice left to make.
***
Yun was really waiting for my session to end.
I’d expected him to leave first or go back to the lab.
When I stepped out of Ju’s office, my mentor glanced at me and jerked his chin.
“Done? Let’s go.”
“Are we heading back to the cabin?”
“No. To the lab first.”
He said it shortly and led me to the massive research building.
I didn’t ask questions. By now, I knew well enough that the answers would reveal themselves there. Asking early would get me nowhere.
The lab was as lively as ever.
The scientists cheered when they saw me enter after so long.
“Hilde!”
Those whose faces I recognized or who had exchanged names with me approached my mentor and me.
“It’s been a while! How have you been? Did you meet Martin yet?”
“Martin’s busy helping another team with their experiment right now.”
“Are you here to take a quest?”
“He hasn’t taken the promotion test yet.”
“But that’s coming up soon, right?”
“Maybe take on a quest after you pass the test?”
Always such energetic people.
But the chatter didn’t last long, because Yun waved them away, telling them to get back to work.
The lab scientists really did obey Yun well.
The crowd that had gathered dispersed quickly.
Once they were gone, my mentor led me deep into the lab.
“Am I even allowed in here?”
I asked as he opened a massive door that looked very much like a restricted zone.
Yun didn’t look back.
“You’re the only one who’s allowed.”
Inside, it was bright.
There was no sign of life. The air felt clean — maybe the room was being filtered deliberately. I froze in place as the heavy door closed behind me.
Even Yun didn’t walk farther in.
He turned his head, met my eyes, and studied me with a measuring gaze.
“...What is it?”
“I retrieved that head.”
Hit.
The unexpected impact made it hard to breathe. I went pale, forgetting how to draw air.
Yun’s hand struck my back, and only then was I able to inhale again, gasping like someone who’d just been pulled from water.
“Do you want to see it?”
He asked flatly, watching me regain my breath.
“Sorry, but I can’t give it a proper burial.”
Of course.
Even asking me this much was a kind of mercy. It was better than I’d expected.
Still, I had to fight back the surge of emotion rising in me. My ragged breathing echoed in the cold room.
The faint hum of an air purifier filled the silence.
At least this time I managed to steady myself faster.
“...I’ll see it. You haven’t opened it yet, right?”
“No. Yehyeon said to wait for your permission.”
“Ah. Thank you.”
That was a considerate kindness.
“Please... let me see it.”
Yun nodded silently.
We went farther inside. Another door opened. A small, white, sterile chamber greeted us.
There, I found the head of my old comrade inside a transparent case.
Like a pristine plaster bust on display in a museum.
I slowly approached it.
Yun quietly watched as I ran my hand along the surface of the case.
“Should I finish telling you the old story?”
I said while gazing at the half-wooden face of my comrade.
Yun didn’t move, only replied,
“I was going to ask you to.”
I let out a small laugh.
Without taking my eyes off the preserved head, I traced back my memories.
A world that now came to me only in faded colors — of blessings and curses, of myths and heroes. My homeland.
A city of ash.
I remembered kneeling before the World Tree that towered above the ashen city.
“People like me and those of the 10th Rank were called Children of the World Tree.”
My voice resonated through the pale chamber.
“Those freed from the curse of the sacred tree by its blessing — people who could absorb others as nourishment and wield monstrous power and regenerative ability. The Emperor of the greatest empire at that time gathered such people beneath him. We made excellent weapons.”
I first met Kyle on the parade ground of that empire.
He’d joined the Imperial Knights four months before I arrived — because his tribe had surrendered under the Empire’s overwhelming army.
It had been a world-shaking event that spread to every corner of the world.
His tribe had been famed for their mobility, so ruthless that people said ash was all that remained in their wake.
But in the end, Kyle’s tribe knelt before the might of a great empire.
He’d resolved to end his own life the moment defeat was certain.
He’d actually drawn his bloodstained sword to do it — until a general of the Empire approached and changed his mind.
“‘Rise high for your people! So they can stand proud within the Empire!’”
“He was the general who said that.”
I stared at the cleanly severed head.
It looked like a blade’s cut. Could it have been Kudo’s doing?
As I studied that ruined face, Yun broke the silence.
“Why is half his face covered in wood?”
“He received power through Kyle. The Children of the World Tree can transfer the nutrients they absorb from other lifeforms.”
It was a technique I learned only after Kyle joined the Knights.
“If you receive that power too long, and you haven’t been blessed by the Tree, your body gets swallowed by old wood — and you wither away.”
“So it kills you in the end? Then why do it?”
“To inflict damage on the enemy, even at the cost of one’s own life.”
He was someone capable of making that choice.
And... he must have been in a situation where he had no other choice.
“He’d been ill for a long time.”
Because the Emperor he’d loyally served had cut off his arm.
That wasn’t something Yun needed to hear, so I didn’t say it. I just gave the brief version.
He’d been unwell for a long time. That was why he’d made this choice — to die fighting gloriously, burning up the last of his life.
“As you move forward, you might ❖ Nоvеl𝚒ght ❖ (Exclusive on Nоvеl𝚒ght) encounter more people like him.”
Because Kyle had begun to move.
“...If possible, I’d like to go outside the Core more often.”
I didn’t want to experience anything like this again.
I didn’t want to see more of my kind slain by human hands. I kept my hand on the case and looked at Yun.
At the man who had said he would kill me himself the moment I betrayed them.
Yun spoke.
“Then you’ll have to pass your promotion test.”
“Yes. ...Wait, what? Oh, yes. Right. Of course.”
“It’s only a few months away.”
Yun walked slowly toward me.
When he reached me, he placed a hand on my shoulder and pulled me away from the case.
“Since it’s come to this, let’s start preparing you for the test.”
No, not what I wanted — but inevitable anyway.
...Whatever.
And so, my test preparation began.
