Chapter 236: A difference in builds (suggestive)
It was a knife in the heart that Sergei thought for even a moment that Brent was cheating on him, but then again, could Brent blame him? While Brent knew that he had been faithful to Sergei, Sergei had seen what kind of man Brent had been on the front lines. Loyal, of course, be free with his sexual attention.
Brent sighed, hanging his head. Damn it. Any anger faded quickly. The heat of it went as quickly as it had come.
Brent stared at the man, still shaking in the doorway, his own emotions still so violent that the temperature in the room still hadn’t adjusted. Hell, Brent was pretty sure it was the temperature on the whole damn floor that was down several degrees.
Case and point, a knock sounded on the door. Brent sighed.
"We’re fine!" Brent shouted from the bathroom. Since there wasn’t another knock on the door, that meant whoever had come to check on them had heard him and had moved away again for their privacy. Brent stared at Sergei, a Captain in his own right, but who was shaking like a leaf.
He sighed again.
"Why don’t we sit down on the bed and discuss this, alright?" Brent suggested carefully, aware that his own emotions could still get high. He had just taken off his own edge, but that didn’t mean he was peaceful. Sometimes Brent’s emotions got bigger after ejaculating, so he needed to be careful as well.
Sergei nodded, turning and moving robotically to sit on the edge of the bed. Brent took that chance to wash his hand, drying it and then came to sit next to Sergei on the bed. Sergei had taken the few seconds that Brent had given him to compose himself slightly. The temp in the room had risen slightly so while he was still upset, he wasn’t being unreasonable.
"Sergei, I would like to make one thing very, very clear." Brent spoke quietly, carefully. "I will never, ever be guiding anyone outside of you the way that I used to. I won’t be hooking up, I won’t be caught kissing, I won’t be doing any of that with anyone but you." Brent said quietly. "I was offended that you even considered that for a second, but I also know that my past actions are to blame for this miscommunication." Brent admitted quietly.
Sergei looked stricken, heartbroken. He looked more upset that he had considered it then Brent felt he had the right to.
"No, I should be the one apologising." Sergei whispered, his voice rough. "I’m the one who should be clarifying. I should trust you, and I do, but-" Sergei cut off, his lips sealing as his emotions got the better of him. "I just can’t understand why you would be touching yourself when I’m here." He admitted.
Brent paused. He was...upset that Brent was touching himself? He was the one who-He was the one that had-
Brent turned to Sergei, swallowing thickly as he stared at the man who looked like a shell of himself. He wasn’t confident, he wasn’t powerful, he was just sad. Brent blinked several times, confused.
"Sergei, do you have a high sex drive?" Brent asked and Sergei blinked.
"I’m not sure." Sergei admitted and Brent felt a wave of horror wash over him. This was just like how everything got fucked up in the first place. How they had argued, how Brent had almost stormed out.
They were having very, very basic problems, and it had almost ruined something again.
Brent, unable to stay upright with the weight of everything falling on his shoulders, didn’t. He fell back against the bed, the sigh leaving his body with a piece of his soul.
"Oh for fuck’s sake." Brent swore loudly and Sergei flinched. He flinched again when Brent’s body bounced on the bed.
"Brent?" Sergei asked and Brent glanced at him, his face flat as he stared up at the ceiling. He raised his hand to cover his eyes.
"Just give me a minute to collect myself. Otherwise it’s all going to be swear words." Brent muttered. He felt Sergei shift on the bed, turning towards him but Brent just needed a second.
"Are you mad?" Sergei asked and Brent gave a bitter laugh.
"At you? Not really. If anything, I’m just frustrated." Brent muttered. After a few moments of silence and Brent gathering himself, he finally sat up. He’d been thinking about how to say this to him without it sounding like he was blaming him for anything, because he wasn’t. If he didn’t clear this up with Sergei, this could happen again and Brent didn’t want that.
He really, really wanted to try and make this work, but if they weren’t compatible at a base level...
"Sergei, I think we’ve had a few issues around intimacy at this point, right?" Brent asked as he sat up and watched as Sergei flinched.
"We have." Sergei agreed, looking hesitant and Brent hated that he’d helped make a man normally so confident look that way. He clenched his jaw.
"I’m not mad nor am I blaming you. I just...need to explain that I think this is where you and I differ." Brent gentled his voice, being calm, careful. "I have a high sex drive." Brent told him. Sergei blinked. "It’s not born from being a Guide and I didn’t nurture it more because I was a Guide. I was born this way. It was intentional, at least I’m pretty sure, on my father and grandfather’s side because they wanted me to have lots of kids. Spread the genes because I came out as a Guide." Brent chuckled. "It’s funny to say that my grandfather made me out to be a whore, but I do believe that’s the truth. I can try to repress it, I can even try to handle it myself, but that’s just a truth. I have a higher desire than most people. It suited my job just fine when I was on the front lines, and I’m not trying to burden you with my issues when it’s clear that you don’t have the same sex drive as me." Brent blushed. "Was it wrong of me to lie about why I wanted you to leave the room? Yeah, or I guess, use the fact that you wanted to get some coffee for this purpose? All of it was wrong. I’m sorry about that, I just..." Brent sighed. "I guess I just wanted to be the kind of man you wanted."
Sergei looked stunned to hear Brent’s words. Shocked to his core. His eyes watered as he reached for Brent and placed his hand on Brent’s shoulder, squeezing it tightly.
"You don’t have to change yourself to fit me, Brent. That’s the last thing that I want." Sergei’s whispered words tore through Brent. He had to swallow thickly, emotions choking him suddenly. He dropped his gaze and stared at his single hand, palm up on his thighs.
"You wanted to cuddle on the couch. No sexual intent behind it. How could I turn around and spit in the face of your simple, caring actions? I’m a beast, Sergei. A sex demon. I came twice and I could go again. Do you understand?" Brent asked, carefully raising his eyes to Sergei’s. The man seemed shocked, but the temperature in the room had mellowed out significantly. He reached for Brent’s face, cupping it with his hand.
"I’m beginning to understand where everything went wrong the first time I tried to woo you, yes." Sergei admitted and Brent felt his face warm. Woo him? That felt...so old-fashioned and strangely fit the man that it made Brent’s stomach flip.
Who else but Sergei could say something like that and Brent would take him seriously? Damn it, he was head over heels for the man. That’s why having this conversation sucked. Brent ducked his gaze away from Sergei, sighing.
"So...I won’t hide that I need to go jerk off next time. If your sex drive isn’t where mine is, that’s fine. I just...I guess I’ll just handle it on my own." Brent told him. Sergei’s hands twitched on Brent’s shoulder and cheek.
"What?" His voice was hard again and Brent slid a confused look towards him.
"What what? Doesn’t that make sense? If your sex drive isn’t as high as mine, I can’t burden you with my problems. I can handle it myself." Sergei let out a low warning growl and Brent felt his body stiffen and his cock grow hard.
Holy shit that was hot.
"Brent Jameson." Sergei began, saying his full name. "I feel, in my own excitement at our growing relationship, that I have let a few things slip. One of those things apparently seems to be my duty towards you." Duty? Brent didn’t want to-
The look in Sergei’s eyes had Brent closing his mouth, the protest dying in his throat. Oh fuck. If the man looked at him like that he’d want him to drive Brent through the fucking mattress.
"My duty as your partner, as your S Class, is to make sure that your needs are met. If you are touching yourself because your desires aren’t met, that means I have failed my duties. If you are touching yourself to tempt me, that is something completely different. Were you doing that?" Sergei was giving him an out, a way to change this moment and Brent took it with both heads.
Brent nodded vigorously, his green eyes wide as he stared at the Esper before him. Sergei’s expression twisted into one of humour and relief.
"Y-Yup! You caught me. That was exactly what I was doing. Mmhmm. I was doing it to tempt you." Brent’s lips moved, his breath coming hot and heavy as he tried to reverse the words he’d already spoken. Sergei leaned in, pressing his forehead against Brent’s.
"Thank goodness." Sergei whispered. "I was worried for a second there that I had let down my partner. By not only doubting him, but by failing to fulfil his needs." Brent’s chest ached at the weight of his words.
"Sergei, sweetheart, it’s okay to fuck up." Brent told him and Sergei leaned in, pressing his lips softly against Brent’s.
"Ah, you say that but I fear it will take a lot more than your kind words for me to believe that." Sergei’s breath fanned over Brent’s face, his eyes shimmery, pale, and making Brent’s hair stand on end. In a good way. "While my desires are not always there, brewing under the surface, dear Zaichonok, once the fire is lit I can go for a long, long time." Brent shivered.
"I-I was just planning to tempt you into watching movies and cuddling today." Brent whispered, and Sergei chuckled.
"Well, it seems that we can do that after I make sure that my Zaichonok is satisfied." Brent had no idea what the man was calling him but it did something dangerous to his insides. Brent pulled him closer, meshing their lips together in a messy, hot kiss.
"Call me that again." Brent panted and felt Sergei’s smile against his lips before he swallowed him up.
"Zaichonok." Sergei whispered and Brent groaned.
"Fuck. It’s hot when you speak other languages." Brent groaned, stealing Sergei’s laughter for his own as he pushed the man over and crawled on top of him. Fuck watching movies. He might have gotten the edge off, but that didn’t mean he was empty.
Brent had a lot more pent up that if Sergei was offering to help with, he wasn’t foolish enough to say no to.
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