Chapter 229: Why are things so different?
Kellen had been a little worried that Rhys would want to do more after Kellen came up for kisses, but he was pleasantly surprised. Rhys was exhausted. It seemed that the experience had been a lot for him and had taken a lot out of him. Kellen worried that because of that he hadn’t enjoyed it, but Rhys assured him.
It wasn’t lip service either, since even Rhys seemed to be chewing on the words as they left his lips. Processing them as they hit the air, seeming to surprise himself.
"I...think I liked it." Rhys told him carefully, and Kellen felt his whole chest expand with relief. That was what he wanted to hear, even if the face that Rhys was making didn’t match his words. It wasn’t the face of a man who genuinely liked what he had experienced, it was the face of a man who was still trying to understand what had happened to him.
Kellen leaned in, wrapping his arms around Rhys tightly and holding him close. He peppered the skin he could touch with gentle, soothing kisses. They weren’t meant to lead to anything, just simple skin contact for the sake of it. Kellen felt Rhys relax into his hold.
"I’m glad." Kellen whispered, meaning it with his whole body. He had worried that Rhys wouldn’t like it. That was a deep fear that he had. He also had wanted to make sure he didn’t leave with a negative thought, especially of Kellen doing anything to him. With him. He was sure that Rhys had felt the same way with Kellen, but he’d been far more confident about his ability to make Kellen happy and content.
Kellen wasn’t used to being so worried about what another person thought of his skills. It felt a bit like he was trying to advocate and sell himself on the front lines for contracts once more. Just...with more of a sexual undertone.
Rhys sighed, pulling Kellen flush against his chest and preventing Kellen from kissing his shoulders any more. He pressed his face against Kellen’s hair, inhaling deeply before exhaling slowly.
"I can’t believe that I’m so lucky." Rhys whispered. Kellen frowned uncomfortably.
"You aren’t lucky, I am." Kellen protested and Rhys laughed.
"I can tell we’re going to argue about this, so let’s stop this before it gets heated. Agree to disagree?" Rhys asked, gently rubbing his chin and cheek against Kellen’s hair. Kellen grumbled, but agreed.
"Fine. Even though I wanted to defend my stance." Kellen told him. Rhys’ shoulders shook.
"I can’t believe you had your tongue against my asshole only minutes ago." Rhys mumbled, a little shocked that the words were even leaving his lips. Kellen scoffed.
"You did too." Kellen replied a little sharply before he gentled his voice. "I just don’t want our relationship to ever be something where we don’t give and take. I want us to be able to share everything. I like bottoming, don’t get me wrong, but I also want to share what that feels like for me with you. We might not feel it exactly the same way, but now there’s also the fact that someone hurt you enough to fear something that you know brings pleasure to others. I can’t let that stand. For your sake." Kellen told him passionately. Rhys squeezed him.
"See? This is the reason why I’m lucky. I think you’re one of two people who would ever care about me like this." Rhys told him, a smile in his voice. Kellen wasn’t happy about that.
"Rhys, you’re my fiancé now. The group of people who care about you has increased. It’s not just Gunther and I anymore. My parents would think the same thing if you ever told them but you obviously don’t have to. So would Gwen, and if Charlie found out that someone hurt you?" Kellen shuddered. "The waterworks that man would cry. He would be heartbroken for you, and that man has been through a lot himself." Rhys squeezed Kellen tighter again, rubbing his chin against his head more.
Kellen let him wrap around Kellen like a claw trap because he liked it but he also knew that Rhys needed to hold him. Kellen wasn’t about to protest the man who he had just proposed to finding comfort in Kellen. He would never be so foolish.
"Charlie would be like a river." Rhys mused, a smile in his voice. "I wonder who would cry out of your parents? Your dad or your mom?" It was a good question, Kellen felt. It was a Guide issue, so he wasn’t sure if his Dad would cry because he was upset for Rhys, or if he would be stone-faced because of the anger consuming him. His Mom would probably react in a similar way, but reverse.
"I’m not sure. I think my Dad might cry because he’s angry that it happened to you, and then he wouldn’t cry again until he found each and every person who harmed you." Rhys let out a slow breath.
"Kellen, I have a strange question and I...I’m just curious." Rhys sounded rather hesitant to speak but Kellen just turned his head slightly to catch a glimpse of his face. Rhys looked thoughtful, but worried. Kellen shrugged.
"Ask away. I have nothing to hide." Kellen told him seriously and Rhys let out a tight breath.
"Okay. Um, so I’ve noticed that your parents are very protective of you. I’m not complaining about that, but it’s important for my question." Rhys said. Kellen nodded, understanding that he was building up to it. "I’ve also noticed that they’ve moved mountains for Brent, Gwen, even Green and Charlie. They heard that there was a small issue with those they considered important to them and they didn’t hesitate to step in and help. Fix things, but also take input in from those who are affected." He hesitated. "Why...isn’t that the same for you?"
It was an honest question, and Kellen was a bit surprised that he even asked. Kellen was aware of it, always had been because there was a simple reason for it. Kellen loved his parents. Truly. They were kind and smart and everything a kid could have wanted for when it came to a couple who could raise them. His family hadn’t looked completely traditional when it came to their childhood. It still wasn’t common for the father to stay home, but his Dad hadn’t been the only one to stay home and raise the kids. That didn’t mean that everything was peachy.
Kellen wasn’t sure when it started, when he began noticing the little things and tweaks that his parents made for others. If he had to guess, the first time he noticed it was when he was around 8. His parents had some of his aunts and uncles down to visit and Kellen had noticed the way that the conversation had gone.
He had been confused. Why were some of the people that his parents considered family speaking to them that way? Why were they asking more of them when they were actively trying to leave the world that was dangerous behind? Why were they taking without really giving anything?
In hindsight, it was obvious that Kellen had followed extremely in their footsteps, but at the time Kellen had only thought that he didn’t want to be like everyone else. He wanted to be a part of his family and support everyone but he wanted to also be able to give back.
Maybe that had also played into the chip on his shoulder and sent him to the front lines. If another Woods family member made a name for themselves, maybe that would take some of the burden off of their shoulders? Kellen hadn’t even been aware that he hadn’t been truly telling his parents anything or relying on them for years.
It wasn’t until he had come back to the city that he had realised exactly how much he had missed out in his years gone. He hadn’t realised that his relationship with them had changed so much.
So much so that Rhys was scared to ask Kellen this question. Kellen relaxed.
"Oh. That." Kellen said quietly. He sighed. "Well, it’s simple. I’m the one who did it." Kellen told him, and then began to explain. "I didn’t want to be the kind of person who took from my parents without being able to offer anything. You see how they are. They are very kind people. I love them dearly, but they would give me everything if I asked. I don’t want that. I want to support them, care for them, and the only way I could think to do so as a child was not burden them with my issues when everyone else was." Kellen told Rhys.
Rhys laid there, his arms around his lover, his partner, his Guide and let out a low sigh.
"They would be devastated to hear that." Rhys told him and Kellen shrugged.
"It’s fine. I don’t think there is any problem with it. I don’t see any problem with our relationship as it is now. We still care and love each other, we take care of each other, but I am able to give back. For one, we were able to offer them a place to stay when things got complicated. I was able to save my Dad’s life. We were able to help them get rid of Uncle Tom, and they were able to help us with the gate and our issues within the Guild. That doesn’t diminish the love that we have for each other, but it does mean that my relationship with them is different. They still have Gwen. She acts like a little kid around them, but from a young age I didn’t want to bother them like that." Kellen told him seriously. Rhys pulled back enough so that he could press his lips against Kellen’s in a soft, tender kiss. His eyes were on the cusp, not quite gold, not quite yellow. A simmering shade that had Kellen’s bones all loose and relaxed.
"Love, if they heard you say that, they...I don’t even know. I’m just glad that it’s not because of something they did. I was rather worried, if I was honest. I thought that there was something terrible, like special treatment going on." Rhys muttered, looking a little embarrassed. Kellen chuckled.
"No no. Nothing like that. I’m sure that they would baby me otherwise. My Mom in particular likes that I’m a Field Guide but she would have preferred if I was like my Dad. After all, she likes my Dad the most. I think sometimes she doesn’t know what to do with me because I’m like her." Kellen said plainly. Rhys stared at his fiancé, his brows furrowed slightly.
"I don’t think that’s the case. I think it’s because you put some distance between you and them so they have a few moments where they are unsure how to approach you. That said, I can still feel how they love you in everything that they do." Rhys told him and Kellen nodded.
"I know. I do regret it sometimes, but what’s done is done. I can include them in my life going forward, and that’s enough for me. No more lamenting about the past since it’s already happened." Kellen told him. "Unless it affects your present." Kellen gave him a pointed look and Rhys’ lips curled up.
"You’re going to force me to take care of myself, aren’t you?" Rhys joked. Kellen nodded.
"I need you to live a long, healthy life. We’re going to break records with how long we’re going to live as S Classes. Am I clear?" Kellen told him. Rhys smirked.
He leaned in, pressing his lips against Kellen’s as he laughed.
"When you say it, I actually believe you." Rhys told him, deepening the kiss after. The two laid together, side by side, kissing and holding each other after a magical day, and a wonderful night.
"Good. Because I meant it." Kellen mumbled before pulling Rhys in deeper. Rhys went, and he knew that he always would. It was just a feeling he had.
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