Chapter 227: Facing your fears with the Captain (m)
Rhys took several deep breaths, his body more relaxed than he expected, but then again, it was Kellen who was touching him. A man who he trusted and a man who he loved. He would let him do practically anything to him.
This wasn’t something that he hadn’t considered, either. He had thought that there might come a day when Kellen got curious enough to want to top him. He wasn’t a fool.
Kellen was possessive, and curious. He clearly cared deeply for Rhys and he also liked bottoming, but he would get the itch at some point. That was part of the reason that Rhys got the male masturbators in the first place. He didn’t want Kellen to miss out on anything.
He didn’t want there to be a reason that Kellen would consider having a wandering eye, even if that went against who Kellen was at his core. Rhys was just covering his bases, not doubting Kellen. He would never doubt the man, not after he broke down in tears in front of cameras.
Rhys could never forget that moment, probably would never forget it for the rest of his life.
It was just...this current moment? After the lovely day that they’d had, Kellen being more vocal about his feelings, proposing to him and catching Rhys by surprise, the lovely ring and then even getting to tie Kellen up? After all of that, Rhys found that he was embarrassed. He was embarrassed about what was about to happen to him, and nervous.
He was so damn nervous to have anyone, even Kellen, near his ass. He knew it was foolish. It was ridiculous. If Rhys showed one sign that he wasn’t in the moment with Kellen anymore, that Kellen would stop. He wouldn’t put his own satisfaction over Rhys’, and that was only another reason why Rhys adored the Field Guide.
The man was thoughtful, kind, and caring. He might have a selfish reason to want Rhys to get over his trauma, but he was also very sincere about it. Sure, he’d had fun touching Rhys, nibbling on him. God, had he ever.
Rhys couldn’t get the way that Kellen looked up at him through his lashes out of his mind. The sharpened gaze, the hunger, and the way he’d adjust his attentions as he noticed Rhys liked something more than what he was doing. He was a fast learner, and that was going to be Rhys’ downfall.
For now Rhys was the one in control. He knew it. He knew that he held the ropes in the relationship right now but that would slowly change. He saw how Kellen’s parents’ relationship worked. He didn’t hate that model, in fact, he was delighted that he would one day have a relationship that came even close to the Esper ideal, but he was used to being in control.
He needed to find only joy in the fact that Kellen was growing, getting bolder and more obvious in his own desire for control and learning with Rhys. That Kellen considered Rhys a safe enough space to open up and want to learn with him. That he wanted to experiment with him.
Rhys was just...a little nervous about it all.
He’d tried to be open with others before and been burned. He knew that Kellen wasn’t the same, but talking about your emotions and the trauma that came with that was completely different then talking about the trauma that others left on your body. Rhys did not consider those the same thing.
He had a feeling that Kellen did, and might even view the way that Rhys was reacting as a bit ridiculous, but that was also part of Kellen’s charm. He was straightforward about certain things, but not unkind. He would listen to why Rhys felt the way he did, the problem was that Rhys wasn’t sure he wanted to open up that way.
He had, of course. He was never one to truly say no to Kellen. It had just taken some courage on his part. Seeing the way that Kellen’s expression had softened when he’d learned the truth had gutted Rhys. He had worried for a simple, foolish second that Kellen felt pity for Rhys. That was not what the other man wanted.
He had forgotten that pity was something Kellen rarely felt, and that his emotions right now were more connected to the base emotions that all humans were born with. Kellen’s softness had faded quickly and turned into pure rage.
Fuck the man was hot. He’d gotten so damn angry for Rhys that he’d almost forgotten that Kellen wanted to finger him. Until his fingers got too close and the fear threatened to choke Rhys once more.
Kellen stopped, gentled Rhys down awkwardly and Rhys accepted it for what it was. His lover, his fiancé wanted him to experience the same kind of satisfaction that he felt, and if that wasn’t love, Rhys would never know the emotion.
So, he stopped being afraid. At least, he tucked it away deeper and hoped that his body would relax the way that he wanted it to.
He let Kellen come closer, let the man kiss him, pet him, stroke him and clumsily do the same thing that Rhys had done to Kellen. Kellen was right to get annoyed at him for being pouty and sulky. It was incredibly endearing that Kellen was using his own personal experiences on him. Rhys should be flattered, but that small kernel of fear in the back of his throat never faded.
Even as Kellen made eye contact with Rhys, asking if it was okay. His finger was circling his ass, careful, sweet, and every bit the man that he wanted to grow old with. His one hazy, not quite seeing eye was staring at Rhys. Lifeless, but trying, and damn it, Rhys couldn’t say no to a Guide who loved him so much.
Every Esper bone in his body screamed to stop resisting, while the terrified young man inside of him was shaking, worried that Kellen would be just like them. He knew it wasn’t true, knew that Kellen would be different, but that part would never leave.
Kellen saw it all, saw the struggle, saw the fear, and leaned in to kiss Rhys again. Deeper, soothing. Rhys melted into the kiss.
"We don’t have to." Kellen whispered against his lips. Rhys stiffened. "I can just eat you out instead." Kellen said with a smile against his lips. Rhys stiffened further.
"You want to what?" Rhys asked quietly, startled. He’d been too focused on Kellen’s fingers that he forgot about a whole other aspect. Kellen pulled back, a purely male grin on his face. Rhys felt his heart stop.
He needed to take a snapshot of that look in his mind’s eye right at that moment.
Kellen wasn’t shy about his desire for Rhys anymore. Long gone were the blushing, shy looks that Kellen used to give him. When Kellen was new and meek, unsure if what they were doing was okay because they weren’t dating in only his eyes. Everyone else thought that they were two steps away from the chapel.
Now that Kellen was confident in their relationship, even confident enough to propose to Rhys, he was a different man. The marks from the ropes that he’d let Rhys tie him up with were on full display. They gave a slightly red look to his body, framing his pecs, shoulders and around his sides. He was sure if he could see his legs right now they would bear the same marks.
It was so fucking hot.
His hair was damp from sweat, his body glistening in a fine layer of wetness that Rhys had worked hard to give him. The room smelled like them, their mixed scents doing something crazy to Rhys’ mind. They were mixing, they were together, and Kellen, his Kellen, was the one who made the first move to make sure that everyone knew that Rhys belonged to him.
It wasn’t a collar, it wasn’t a necklace, it was a ring. A ring that meant something to him, to his family. He was part of Kellen’s family. That meant a lot to him, even as he grappled with the idea of Kellen bending him over and eating his ass.
Rhys was no prude. He’d done a lot in an effort to ease his own issues when it came to controlling his powers. It was not lost of him that this was the most stable he’d ever been with a partner before, and this was the first time he was balking at anything.
He had considered Kellen fucking him, he hadn’t considered Kellen eating his ass before. That just felt...wrong.
"That’s....dirty." Rhys muttered and Kellen tossed his head back and laughed.
"Dirty? You do it for me all the time. You actually asked to be able to do it to me today. Why can’t I do the same? I think it might be an easy way for you to associate something pleasant with your ass. I can even jerk you off at the same time. You’ll like it, Rhys. I like it." Kellen’s statement was clear, his blue eye bright. He meant his words, even if his lips were curled up in a teasing smile. Rhys shivered.
That was the worst part sometimes. Kellen meant his words. There was no deceit, no deception. He truly just wanted to spread the happiness and joy that he felt by having Rhys at his side. That was the part of him that was able to break down his borders, stop his mind from overthinking about useless things because Kellen would just tell him outright what he was feeling.
He’d only hid his feelings because he’d hidden them from himself. He’d weighed the options and had decided that he’d needed to tuck them away. When he’d come to a different conclusion, he’d stopped hiding them.
Fuck. Rhys was going to give in to every demand that Kellen made, especially if it was so straightforward. Plus, if he tried to ask to eat Kellen’s ass instead, he had no excuse. He’d already done it.
Kellen wouldn’t let him get his way twice when it came to the same topic without being able to do it himself. Rhys knew it. That was also why he’d convinced Kellen to let him tie him up first. He had kind of hoped that Kellen would be too tired to ask for his turn, but this was worse.
No no, it wasn’t worse, because at least this way he wasn’t being confused by pleasure while they had this conversation. He could think clearly. He wasn’t like Kellen. If he had been tied up when they were having this conversation he would have agreed to anything.
He hoped that Kellen never came to realise that, otherwise he was fucked. If Kellen ended up really liking shoving his dick inside of him, all he would have to do would be to suggest tying up Rhys and he could do what he wanted.
Sure, Rhys could break free of the ties, but why would he want to? It would be Kellen who had tied him up, and it was one less thing to worry about.
Rhys shuddered.
"It’s different." Rhys argued quietly and Kellen smiled at him warmly. It wasn’t filled with pity, nor was Kellen looking down on him but there was something soft and tender in his gaze that made Rhys warm.
"Is it?" Kellen asked softly. "Then, you better change that, because I’m not compromising on your training, Rhys." It was said softly, but with authority. Rhys closed his eyes, shivering at the impact that subtle power had on him.
Now that Kellen had confidence when dealing with him, Rhys folded like a damn chair.
"Okay." Rhys breathed and Kellen laughed.
"That quickly? I was expecting some negotiation." Kellen teased and Rhys groaned. Yeah, like a damn chair.
"I just want to be able to see your eyes." Rhys mumbled. Kellen leaned in, kissing Rhys warmly. Laughter in his kiss and Rhys melted. He did that. He made Kellen this warm, inviting, and seductive. That was all him, and now he had to take the good with the ’bad’. Guys would be screaming just to experience Kellen Woods eat their ass. Rhys needed to suck it up.
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