Chapter 123: Ch161. Sickness 16 (I am...)
Kurt’s mouth was left agape when he heard that voice.
His whole body at the moment, felt like he knew it from somewhere, even though his memory couldn’t recall from where it was.
It didn’t even seem to him like he had missed that voice, even more because he couldn’t remember anything related to it, but his heart felt a strange emotion after the sound of that voice echoed through the crystal walls of that vast cave.
Was it what people called fulfillment, that he was feeling?
He knew that the voice came from that huge, strangely shaped crystal, and that it was part of his story, in some way.
Aside from that unfamiliar emotion that filled his heart, a mix of confusion and familiarity came from Kurt’s heart and mind, and the voice said, without waiting long.
[I SEE... SO THAT MEANS YOU DIDN’T COME HERE OF YOUR OWN WILL...]
[LET’S CHANGE THIS, SHALL WE?]
’I didn’t come willingly?’ Kurt asked himself, but after the slightest of moments, he agreed with the voice, since he arrived there by falling through the crack on the ground, after trying to set a trap for the [ANTIBODY].
But somehow, Kurt felt like the voice didn’t meant it that way, when it said it like that.
And Kurt was about to find out.
The stone emitted a blinding green glow, enveloping Kurt in a powerful light.
He felt as if the light was nothing but pure, raw energy.
Power in its wildest, most ancient form.
The familiarity and the sense of fulfillment took Kurt’s heart and mind all of a sudden, not giving him even the briefest second to question anything.
And immediately, all the memories came back to him.
Evellyn, Nikolai, Rodrick, Robby, Cinthia, the other irregulars...
Even the short time they spent at Karasuno no Uta, and the guild master’s true colors.
Kurt remembered everything.
And even though he missed the pieces of the puzzle that his memories represented, it wasn’t a pleasant experience, for him to have it a shoved down, back into his brain, all at once.
He felt like his skull had been tore open like a dry grapefruit, and that all its juice was being poured back into it.
The sensation was almost ecstatic.
But at the same time, painful like nothing else in the world.
Kurt wanted to cry, to scream, to crush every inch of the crystal walls to bits, just to make that pain go away.
And at the same time, his heart ached and felt as if he was relieving every singe one of the most painful and sorrowful experiences in all his lives.
But when it finally stopped, Kurt felt more complete than he’d ever felt in ages.
Drained and exhausted, sad, happy, depressed, ecstatic, borderline everything.
But he felt complete.
***
A few moments later, panting, he held himself back from falling to his knees on the floor, remembering all the times his knees had touched the floor.
From the strange false memory of when he was a child, and had been invited by Nikolai to play in that playground, to all the other times, in which he had prostrated himself, exhausted from trying to fight the [ANTIBODY] in that forest.
And above all...
Kurt remembered who that voice belonged to.
"System...?"
[HA HA HA HA]
[I THINK THIS IS NO LONGER A NAME THAT FITS WELL INTO MY EXISTENCE, NOW, BEFORE YOUR EYES, IS IT?]
Kurt frowned, trying to understand.
But no matter how much I tried to connect the dots, nothing there made sense.
He was experiencing an Echo within a world that belonged only to him.
Or rather... Which would belong to him alone, if it weren’t for that strange Conqueror, Mono.
Nothing, in any aspect of the situation as a whole, seemed to make any sense to Kurt.
[CALM DOWN, KURT BLAKE]
[THINGS WILL START TO MAKE SENSE]
[FORGIVE ME IN ADVANCE]
[I CANNOT FORGIVE MYSELF FOR TELLING YOU EVERYTHING IN MY REAL AND STERILE WAY]
[THEN I WILL PRESENT MYSELF TO YOU IN A FORM WITH WHICH YOU HAVE MORE FAMILIARITY, AND TO WHICH YOU HOLD MORE AFFECTION...]
The stone lit up again.
It took Kurt a while to process what that had said, but when he understood about him having more familiarity and affection with the form that entity was about to choose, Kurt thought that Nikolai, Evellyn, or even Rodrick were about to appear there, coming out of that stone, as if transported to the same world where he was.
But nothing in the world could have prepared Kurt for the female voice that sounded in his ears, when the light dissipated, and the physical form of that youthful woman, with bright, expressive eyes, and brown, slightly graying hair, revealed herself before him.
"I think this is better..."
"M-Mom...?"
Kurt’s voice came out almost like a squeak from his throat.
All the effort he had mustered to keep from falling to his knees was almost too little to hold the young man’s body upright, as he felt hot tears fall down his cheeks.
"What-"
The woman’s eyes widened slightly when Kurt quickly advanced towards her, wrapping her in a tight, warm, longing hug.
"I... I missed you so much..."
Kurt wasn’t able to hide his emotions at that moment.
Just being someone chosen by chance, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, Kurt had lost so many people...
That, even though he knew that the woman in front of him was not his real mother, but just a form chosen by the [SYSTEM], to be able to talk face to face with Kurt, the young man was unable to do anything, except to surrender the great longing that had pooled in his heart.
Knowing Kurt’s memories, mind, and heart, Nina’s form did not repel him.
Like a good mother, strangely enough, Nina’s form stroked Kurt’s hair, returning the tight hug.
"It’s okay, my dear. It’s okay."
"I... I wasn’t able to save you, nor to avenge you... I wasn’t capable of anything, other than returning and changing and..."
At that moment, NIna’s form repelled Kurt’s embrace, as gently as possible.
"It’s okay, Kurt. I... I know the Essentium is just using my form so it can communicate with you, but... There’s still a bit of my consciousness here, inside the source of your power." She said, gently touching Kurt’s cheek, and wiping away a tear that fell there. "Then I can safely say... You have not failed in your purpose."
"I didn’t...fail?"
"No." Nina smiled. "Unfortunately, Zaval was right when he said that I was just a coincidence on the battlefield. Accidents like this happen, and people get caught in the crossfire. You didn’t need to dive so deep, just out of a desire to get revenge... I can’t deny that I didn’t like seeing you crossing that threshold... But it’s okay." She hugged Kurt again. "You have become such an incredible young man... Strong, determined, loyal to your friends... I’m sure the girl who manages to catch your heart will be a lucky girl." She chuckled. "But I don’t have much more time here..."
"What do you mean, mom?" Kurt felt a lump of despair forming in his throat.
"When Essentium chose my form, it gave me one last chance to see you. To be able to see those eyes of yours one last time... But that time is running out... And you still have a hard road ahead of you, before of the end..."
"Mom... Don’t go, please. I... I need-"
"No, Kurt." Nina gently interrupted the young man. "You don’t need me, as much as you still believe that. You’re a big boy, and you already have wings big enough to fly through the sky under your own power."
"Mother..."
Nina shook her head, making Kurt silent.
She gently pressed her forehead against Kurt’s forehead, and continued.
"Keep me in your heart, Kurt, in the good memories of the days we spent together. So, somehow, I will always be alive inside you. I love you, my sweet and beloved son..."
Nina enveloped Kurt in a soft hug that Kurt wanted to last for eternity.
But when Kurt opened his eyes, Nina’s form was there, in front of him, but a few steps away.
"I know it wasn’t nearly enough time for you to say a proper goodbye..." She said, looking at Kurt with some sadness in her eyes. "But it was the best I was able to do, with what little life energy remained of her in my core."
"Essentium..." Kurt said, making Nina’s form widen her eyes ever so slightly. "How did you manage to do that?"
The woman placed two fingers on her chin, as if thinking for a few moments.
"I think I can say this clearly, without fear that you won’t understand..." She paused, and then continued. "I am the life force of this planet. The energy that gave rise to the evolution of human beings. The power that runs within every awakened..."
