Baby System: My Mates Can Read my Mind?

Chapter 84: Episode 084: Consoling Iris

Iris sobbed uncontrollably.

The broken sounds completely filled the cold stone room. She finally let the horrible secret out of her chest. The awful truth she carried entirely by herself for months was finally spoken out loud into the air.

Rue did not say a single word. She didn’t try to offer empty platitudes, or try to shush her. She just sat there on the padded window seat, holding Iris tight. She kept her arms wrapped securely around the trembling Wolf Princess, gently patting her back in a slow, steady rhythm.

Iris cried so hard her entire body shook violently. It was a messy, loud, completely human cry. It was the kind of crying that leaves your throat raw and your chest aching for days. Rue just held on tighter. She let the hot tears soak right through the thick shoulder of her winter dress.

"It didn’t heal him," Iris gasped out. Her voice was muffled heavily against Rue’s neck. She pulled back just enough to look Rue in the eye. Her bright blue eyes were bloodshot and completely wide with absolute terror. "My blood didn’t heal him at all. It reacted violently. The second it touched his open wounds, his entire body seized up in the snow."

Iris squeezed her own hands together tightly in her lap. Her knuckles turned entirely white. She stared blankly at the stone floor, completely trapped in the awful memory of that winter day.

"It caused him agonizing pain," Iris cried softly. "I completely destroyed his body from the inside out. I watched his veins turn dark right under his pale skin. He started coughing up dark, thick blood. He screamed, Rue. It was the most terrible, agonizing sound I have ever heard in my entire life. He was thrashing in the snow, trying to get away from me. Trying to get away from the terrible fire I put inside his chest."

Rue felt a cold chill run all the way down her spine. She pictured the quiet, serious boy dying in the snow, suddenly consumed by a burning agony. It was a horrific image. She squeezed Rue’s hands.

"I tried to hold him still," Iris whispered. Her voice cracked terribly. "I tried to wipe the blood off his chest with my bare hands. I was crying and begging him to hold on just a little bit longer. But he pushed me away. He looked at me for just one second. His eyes were completely wild with pain."

Iris took a massive, shaky breath. The tears poured freely down her pale cheeks.

"He couldn’t afford to let me watch him die like that," Iris sobbed. "He knew how much it was breaking my heart. He didn’t want my last memory of him to be the terrible pain I caused him. So he forced himself up off the frozen ground. He was barely standing. And then he ran."

Iris wiped her wet face with the back of her thick gray sleeve.

"In the total chaos of the battle, he dragged his broken body right into the deep, dark woods," Iris explained. "He vanished into the trees before I could even stop him. He just disappeared."

"What did you do?" Rue asked very softly.

"I searched for him everywhere," Iris cried. "When the fighting finally moved away from the courtyard, I ran straight into the woods after him. I didn’t care about the cold. I didn’t care about the rogue wolves hiding in the trees. I dug through the snowbanks with my bare hands until my fingers bled. I called his name until my voice completely gave out. I was so desperate."

She slumped forward, resting her heavy forehead right against her knees. She looked entirely defeated.

"I just wanted to find him so Axel could help him after the war," Iris whispered into the dark fabric of her dress. "Axel is so smart. Axel always knows how to fix broken things. I thought if I could just drag Skoll back to the palace, my brother could figure out a way to reverse what my blood did to him. I thought we could still save him."

Iris shook her head slowly.

"But I found him nowhere," she stated blankly. "No tracks. No body. Just endless white snow. I never saw him again."

The room grew very quiet for a few minutes. The fire popped loudly in the stone hearth, throwing bright orange sparks against the black iron gate.

"I killed him, Rue," Iris whispered desperately. "I truly believe I tortured him and caused his death. I was supposed to be a princess who protected her pack. But instead, I gave him the most agonizing end imaginable. And he died all alone in the freezing woods because of me."

Iris buried her face in her hands again.

"That trauma and the guilt have been eating me alive every single day since I returned home," Iris sobbed loudly. "It completely consumes me. I close my eyes at night and I just hear him screaming. I see the dark blood on his chest. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I just want to tell him I am so incredibly sorry."

Rue held her tight. She understood the crushing sadness Iris was going through.

Rue knew exactly what it felt like to lock yourself in a cold room and pretend you were perfectly fine. She knew what it felt like to carry a weight that nobody else could see.

But Iris was entirely different from Rue.

Iris had always been the bright, shining sun for the entire pack, the goddess that everyone wanted. She was the pillar of strength for everyone in the beastworld. She carried everyone else’s heavy burdens with a beautiful grin on her face.

But now, for the very first time, she herself needed a pillar to stay strong.

She needed someone to hold her up before she collapsed under the terrible weight of her own guilt. Rue looked at her trembling shoulders. It was absolutely no wonder everyone in the pack loved her so much.

They could feel her deep pain from miles away. They knew their goddess was hurting, even if they didn’t know the exact reason why. They missed the warm light she used to bring to the freezing Northern palace.

Rue didn’t offer empty promises. She didn’t say it wasn’t her fault. When you feel that kind of intense guilt, hearing someone tell you to just let it go actually makes you feel entirely worse.

Instead, Rue just rested her cheek against Iris’s soft hair.

"I am so sorry, Iris," Rue whispered softly. She kept her voice incredibly steady and warm. "I am so incredibly sorry you had to carry this all by yourself for so long."

Rue felt a few stray tears slide down her own pale cheeks. She didn’t bother wiping them away. She let them fall. She was allowed to be sad. She thought about how terrifying it must have been for a young girl to watch her friend run away in pure agony. It was a heavy, horrible burden for anyone to carry.

"You were just trying to help him," Rue said quietly. "You didn’t do it to hurt him. You did it out of love. You wanted to save your friend. Sometimes, when we try our absolute hardest to fix things, they just break in a completely different way. But your heart was always in the right place."

Iris shook her head stubbornly. She absolutely refused to forgive herself.

"My heart killed him," Iris cried. "My blood poisoned him. I can never take that back. I have to live with that terrible mistake for the rest of my life."

"Then you live with it," Rue told her honestly. She didn’t sugarcoat the harsh truth. "You carry it. But you don’t have to carry it all alone anymore. You have me. You can tell me about him. You can talk about the honey cakes and the snow. You don’t have to lock yourself in this cold room and pretend you are totally fine when you are actually falling apart."

Iris looked up. Her wet blue eyes searched Rue’s face. She looked for any sign of judgment or disgust. She didn’t find any. She only found pure, honest friendship.

A fresh wave of tears spilled over Iris’s eyelashes. But this time, they weren’t tears of pure terror. They were tears of genuine relief. She finally shared the heavy load. She leaned fully into Rue’s embrace, letting the quiet safety of the room wrap securely around her.

They stayed exactly like that for a very long time.

The fire slowly burned down in the hearth, turning the bright orange flames into soft, glowing red coals. The storm outside raged on, howling violently against the frosted glass. But the two girls stayed perfectly still on the padded window seat.

The silence settled comfortably around them. The heavy clay tea cups sat entirely forgotten on the stone ledge. Iris’s breathing slowly leveled out. The violent shaking in her hands finally stopped.

Suddenly, a soft, polite knock hits the door.

The sound made them both jump slightly.

Axel’s deep voice calls out, "Mama? I brought more firewood for the night."