Chapter 73: Episode 073: You are a mother now.
For two full days, the men didn’t sleep a single minute.
The small wooden cabin turned into a quiet, guarded hospital room. Knox and Caius worked together when they thought they could never.
They sat by the bed and forced the bitter, cold medicinal broth down Rue’s throat. They did it gently, tipping the stone bowl to let one tiny drop fall past her lips at a time. They didn’t know she was completely unconscious.
They didn’t know she was trapped deep inside her own mind, totally disconnected from her physical body. They just thought she was resting her sick, exhausted muscles.
Things in the house started acting very strangely.
The fire in the stone hearth didn’t burn out. The men didn’t step outside to chop any extra wood, but the flames stayed perfectly warm. The fire cast a soft, glowing orange light across the cold floor, keeping the chill of the forest completely away.
The wooden bucket of spring water Knox brought inside stayed entirely clean. It stayed cold, no matter how close it sat to the fire.
They believed it was the gods’ way of taking care of Rue.
Caius just kept dipping a soft cloth into the freezing water. He kept wiping the sweat off Rue’s pale, fragile face, focused on the steady rise and fall of her chest.
The two men bonded.
When Caius’s arms got too stiff from holding her burning body, Knox stepped right in. The panther scooped her up gently and held her close to his broad chest. When Knox needed to eat a piece of dried meat to keep his strength up, Caius watched the baby. They shared the massive weight of keeping their tiny family alive.
Knox learned how to bounce little Theron on his knee. He learned how to make the baby laugh without using his sharp claws. Caius learned how to tolerate the wild smell of panther inside his home.
While the men stayed awake, Rue wasn’t there.
She was curled up in a void.
It was totally dark here. But it wasn’t scary. It was incredibly warm. It felt like being wrapped up tightly in a thick, soft blanket. There was absolutely no physical pain. Her chest didn’t hurt. Her skin didn’t burn with a terrible fever. She didn’t feel the crushing pressure of being someone who was needed. She didn’t feel the terrifying weight of the snake or the panther.
She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms tightly around her legs. She felt so completely tired. Her soul was just exhausted. She just wanted to sleep forever.
A bright blue light flickered in the dark.
[Host, you must wake up.]
"I’m tired," Rue whispered. Her voice sounded incredibly small in the empty space. "I don’t want to go back."
[Your physical body is stabilising. The fever is dropping. You need to regain consciousness now.]
"No," Rue replied softly. "It hurts too much out there. I’m not strong enough for this world."
"Nobody stays with me," Rue continued. "Everyone leaves. My parents left me there. The nurses always left my room. If I go back, Caius will eventually realise I’m just a sick burden. He’ll get tired of taking care of me and leave. Knox will figure out I’m broken. He’ll leave too. I don’t deserve to be loved. I’ll just get hurt again. It’s better if I stop right here."
She hugged herself tighter. She wanted to stay here forever. It was safer here.
[Is this what you really want, Rue?]
Rue sniffled, rubbing her eyes. "Yes. I want to rest."
[What about Caius?]
[He hasn’t slept in two days. He hasn’t eaten a single bite of food. He’s holding your hand right now. He’s terrified of losing you.]
Rue squeezed her eyes shut. She shook her head back and forth. She didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want to feel the guilt.
[What about Theron?]
Rue froze.
Her breath hitched sharply in her throat. Her pink eyes flew open.
[Your child won’t ever leave you,]
[The only way that baby leaves you is if you abandon him first. He’s helpless. He needs his mother."]
[Do you want to abandon him?]
[Do you want to leave a baby all alone in a dangerous world? Do you want to do the same thing your parents did to you?]
She remembered the terrible, crushing loneliness. She remembered staring at the white ceiling on Earth, wishing her mother would just walk through the door and hold her hand.
She remembered crying herself to sleep because the room was too quiet. She remembered feeling totally unwanted and completely forgotten.
She couldn’t do that to little Theron. She loved him. She couldn’t leave him alone with a snake and a panther, no matter how much they cared for him. A baby needed a mother. He needed her soft voice. He needed her to hold him when it stormed outside.
"No," She wiped her wet face with the back of her hands. She pushed herself up. Her legs wobbled badly, but she forced herself to stand up.
"No, I don’t want to leave him," Rue said. Her voice gained a tiny, fierce spark of strength. "I won’t abandon my baby."
[Then open your eyes.]
It was the third morning when her eyes snapped open.
The awful fever was gone. Her skin felt cool and slightly damp with old sweat. Her muscles ached terribly, but the awful, burning pain that had cooked her blood was entirely gone. She felt like she had just run a marathon, but she was finally alive.
The morning sun peeked directly through the wooden window shutters. The golden light hit her pale face. It felt incredibly warm and incredibly real.
She turned her head slightly on the soft white pillow.
The very first person she saw wasn’t Caius or Knox.
It was little Theron.
The baby boy was lying right beside her on the large bed. He was wrapped tightly in a thick, fluffy white blanket. He was just lying there, staring right at her face with his big, bright golden eyes. When he saw her pink eyes flutter open, he let out a tiny, happy little bubble. He reached his chubby little hand out and grabbed a loose strand of her silver hair.
Rue felt a massive, overwhelming wave of pure love crash directly into her chest. Her heart felt so full it actually hurt.
She weakly reached her hand out from under the covers and gently touched his soft, warm cheek with her trembling fingers.
"Oh Theron..."
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