June 15, 2020
Alicia slowly closed her eyes, then opened them again. Each time her thick lashes fluttered like the wings of a butterfly, her ashen-gray irises appeared and vanished in turn. It felt like she had slept deeply, and yet, her body still felt heavy.
So, it was just a dream after all.
Still lying in bed, Alicia reached toward the empty space beside her. The sheets were wrinkled, but there was no lingering warmth. That realization left her strangely disappointed. Last night’s dream had felt so vivid that, for a moment, she had wondered if Cabelenus had truly been there. Staring at the vacant spot for a while, Alicia let out a deep sigh. Her body felt sluggish, and her eyes ached—perhaps from crying herself to sleep.
Dreaming about him only makes me want to see him more.
She pressed her palms firmly against her swollen eyelids. It had been a pleasant dream, but that only made reality feel even more hollow. The sharper the contrast between the dream and her waking world, the more she felt the absence of Cabelenus.
"You still plan to sleep even longer?"
A familiar voice rang from behind her, and Alicia’s eyes widened. She blinked slowly, then abruptly sat up. She hadn’t imagined it. It was Cabelenus.
"Why... Your Highness, why are you here...?"
"I wanted to have breakfast with you for a change."
"......."
"Do you dislike the idea?"
Cabelenus tilted his head slightly.
"A-Ah, no! Of course not!"
Alicia waved her hands in a fluster, so hastily that she nearly lost her balance.
"Careful."
"Y-Yes..."
Her face flushed red as she bit her lower lip. She hadn’t fallen, but the fact that he was watching her so intently only made her feel more embarrassed.
"If you were here, you could have at least made it known..."
"You were sleeping too soundly for that."
"......."
So... he was watching me sleep?
Alicia pressed her warm cheeks with both hands. Her gaze shifted to what Cabelenus was wearing—he wasn’t dressed in his usual uniform but something much more casual. A small crease formed between her brows.
"Did you... come here at dawn?"
"My work ran late. Even though I hurried, this was the earliest I could make it."
"Then, that means..."
"You seemed to be sleeping soundly, so I didn’t wake you."
Was her dream really just a dream? Uncertainty clouded Alicia’s expression. Her eyes darted to the man beside her, stealing glances, but his impassive face gave nothing away.
"Why? Do you have something to say?"
"Did I... do anything last night? Something... inappropriate?"
Alicia’s voice wavered. She had a vivid memory of pouring out all kinds of words, using the dream as an excuse.
"Nothing that I would call a mistake."
"O-Oh... I see..."
Her stiff lips relaxed slightly. Cabelenus, resting his chin on his hand, watched her reaction with interest. The corners of his mouth, partially obscured by his fingers, curled into a faint smirk.
"Though, I do think we need to have a more thorough conversation about our arrangement."
"...Excuse me?"
The ease she had just regained vanished instantly. Cabelenus feigned ignorance, watching her rapidly shifting expression with amusement.
"For the record, I am a man of considerable worth. If you don’t pay your dues properly, that could be a problem."
Alicia’s lashes trembled noticeably. She didn’t see how his smirk deepened behind her partially covered hands.
"W-What do you mean...?"
"You said you wanted me, didn’t you?"
His golden eyes glinted mischievously. He had never considered himself the type to engage in childish teasing, yet seeing that expression on her face made it all too tempting.
"I never expected you to be so bold."
"...Please don’t tease me."
Alicia’s shoulders slumped. Cabelenus rose from his chair and slowly made his way toward her, his steps unhurried, like a well-fed beast.
"How much are you willing to offer?"
"...What would I have to give to make a purchase?"
Of course, whatever sense of control he had was shattered the moment he met her eyes, gazing up at him with quiet curiosity. He halted his steps and looked down at her.
She always defied his expectations.
Cabelenus let out a shallow breath. He had thought he’d be satisfied simply by seeing some life in her eyes, but it wasn’t enough. The desire in her gaze held more weight than he had anticipated.
"That look."
Cabelenus stepped forward.
"I want you to keep looking at me with those eyes."
"...That’s all?"
"I want to hear the words your lips whisper so easily."
Another step.
"...And?"
"I want to hold your small body in my arms."
Another step.
"I want to press my lips against your soft skin."
And with one more step, the distance between them nearly disappeared. Alicia swallowed reflexively.
When did it change?
The well-fed beast had, at some point, turned into a ravenous predator.
"I have nothing to offer you, Your Highness."
"I know."
"Even so, will you still keep me by your side? You gain nothing from it."
"It's too late to start worrying about that now."
His steps came to a halt. Alicia let out a long breath.
"You might regret this."
"That's why I'm doing something so ill-fitting for me."
To make sure he wouldn't regret it.
Cabelenus's hand cupped Alicia’s face, and a flicker of confusion passed through her features. He had dropped to his knees before her.
"W-What are you doing? Get up!"
"This way, our eyes meet properly."
Unlike the flustered Alicia, Cabelenus calmly held her gaze. She opened her mouth as if to protest, only to close it again, looking as though she might cry.
"Why that expression?"
"Your Highness shouldn’t be doing this."
"You're right. I'm not someone who should do this. Not with anyone—except you."
"......."
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"You’re the only one I don’t need a reason for."
Alicia anxiously parted her lips, then clenched her fists. Her heart pounded like she had just run a great distance, but she didn’t want to look away from his gaze.
She wanted more. She wanted.
"...Right now, I have nothing. I can't afford the price. But the me in the future... will be different."
With trembling fingers, Alicia touched Cabelenus’s face. Though his gaze burned with the ferocity of a predator ready to sink its teeth into her, he remained still, accepting her touch.
"I will stay by your side. I’ll remain beside you and pay the price little by little."
"You would stake your future to have me?"
"A grand duchess should be a fair match for Your Highness, don't you think?"
Even while curling into herself, she spoke her mind. Cabelenus chuckled at the contradiction in her expression—uncertainty and confidence tangled together.
"You’ll have to work hard to become someone suitable for me."
"I can do it."
"You're very sure of yourself."
"You are too, aren’t you?"
Alicia’s fingers twitched slightly. Unlike the firm muscles of his body, his cheek was surprisingly soft, and the sensation of it under her fingertips left her feeling strangely unsettled.
"What do you mean?"
"You’re always strong and certain. So, shouldn't the person standing beside you be the same?"
Her ashen-gray eyes gleamed with determination.
For the first time, she felt certain about what she wanted.
She didn’t want to be someone merely sheltered under Cabelenus’s protection. She wanted to stand at his side, to walk forward with him, as his equal.
"I don't mind if you're not strong."
"I will be."
Alicia shook her head. Her movement was still delicate, but her resolve was unmistakable. The warmth of his hand around hers was too precious to let go of.
After a brief hesitation, she cautiously lowered her head.
"I will give you my future. In return, give yourself to me."
Her lips pressed against his forehead.
Even that small act made her face burn, but she had no intention of letting go.
"I thought you had no greed in you," he murmured.
"...So, do you dislike it?"
"No."
I like it.
His response was barely heard before his lips came crashing down on hers.
His large hands tangled in her hair, pulling her closer with unrestrained urgency. Alicia instinctively tightened her arms around his neck, and between their parted lips, their warm breaths mingled.
***
"You don’t seem to like the food."
Cabelenus’s sharp gaze flickered toward Alicia’s hesitant fork. She gave a small, sheepish smile before stabbing at a piece of lettuce.
"N-No, it’s not that. My stomach just hasn’t been feeling great lately."
"I’ll summon a physician."
His gaze instinctively dropped to her stomach. He had been informed of the possibility, but just looking at her flat abdomen didn’t give him any certainty.
"N-No, it’s not that serious. I just... I guess I’ve lost my appetite, eating alone all the time..."
Did that sound like she was complaining?
Alicia cautiously stole a glance at Cabelenus. His brows had drawn slightly together.
"Once I finish my current tasks, we’ll eat together again."
"Don’t overwork yourself. I’m fine eating alone. I’ve gotten used to it."
"That’s not the problem. I’m the one who doesn’t like it."
"...What?"
Alicia blinked in surprise.
"If you grow used to being without me, I will be the one left unsatisfied."
His golden eyes curved slightly with amusement.
Alicia’s face flushed red as she stared at him.
Her grip tightened around her fork, but her lips parted as if compelled to respond.
"...It’s not as if I don’t miss you."
"Is that so?"
His teasing smile still carried a mischievous glint, but Alicia didn’t mind it. She steeled herself once more and nodded.
"Yes. I much prefer dining with Your Highness."
"A welcome answer, but still, make sure you eat properly."
"And are you eating properly, Your Highness?"
"I'm not the concern here. You need to eat well."
Still so thin.
Cabelenus’s eyes narrowed slightly. No matter how much he ensured she ate, Alicia still looked as though she might break with the slightest touch.
"This is the first time I’ve ever looked forward to hunting season."
"Hunting season?"
"Every year, in the last month of Schwarhan, hunting season begins. During that time, monsters become more rampant, causing severe damage."
"Isn’t that dangerous?"
Alicia’s brows furrowed. Unlike ordinary animals, these creatures were something else entirely—beasts with unnatural forms. She had never seen one herself, but books described them as fearsome beings, accompanied by eerie illustrations.
"It’s dangerous, but we can’t just ignore them. If left alone, they’ll devastate the territory. Someone has to deal with it."
"Even so, I’d rather you not put yourself in harm’s way."
Alicia murmured cautiously.
"Are you worried about me?"
"Yes."
She nodded without hesitation.
She knew how strong Cabelenus was, but that didn’t make her any less uneasy. No matter how powerful he was, he was still human. And humans—no matter how invincible they seemed—could die.
Losing someone was her greatest fear. And if that someone was him...
"There’s no need to worry. As always, the biggest Balman will be mine."
"Balman?"
Alicia tilted her head. She had never heard the term before.
"The largest and most ferocious of the monsters in Schwarhan."
And the most prized delicacy.
Cabelenus left out that part, simply giving a slight nod.
Some truths were better left unknown.
"That sounds incredibly dangerous."
"I’ve done it every year, so I’m used to it. And this time, I have even more reason to do it."
Hideous as they were, Balman hearts were considered the ultimate revitalizing food—even the capital prized them. Every hunting season, Jerpeneus would nag him endlessly until he sent one over.
But this year, not a single Balman heart would be going to the capital.
Cabelenus could already hear his half-brother’s complaints, but he couldn’t care less.
Alicia needed nourishment far more than Jerpeneus did.
"If you must go, then I won’t stop you... But I don’t want you to get hurt."
"If you’re that worried, why not give me a talisman?"
"A talisman?"
"In Schwarhan, it’s customary for warriors to receive gifts before heading out—to ensure a safe return."
A tradition he had once found bothersome now served as the perfect excuse.
Resting his chin on his hand, Cabelenus observed her. He had spoken half in jest, but now, seeing the determined glint in her eyes, he had no intention of taking it back.
"What should I give you, then?"
"Are you actually going to prepare one?"
"Yes. If it’s something I can do, I will."
Even though it was a simple question, Alicia looked completely serious.
"There’s no need to make it grand. A talisman isn’t about the object itself—it just needs to be something meaningful and easy to carry."
"Are there any specific rules?"
"None. As long as I can keep it with me, and it holds your sincerity, that’s all that matters."
"You have plenty of time, so think it over."
A small smile tugged at his lips.
He liked the sight of Alicia deep in thought.
To choose the perfect talisman, she would inevitably have to think about him.