Chapter 51: Chapter 51: The Social Malady
After dinner, Jiang Xia said goodbye to his mother-in-law and left with his wife.
"Hey, can you tone it down a bit? You’re grinning from ear to ear," Lin Yanwan said in the elevator, unable to stop herself from rolling her eyes at him.
"What are you talking about? I’m just happy I got to eat Mom’s cooking again."
"And not because my mom was praising you the whole time?"
Jiang Xia looked solemn. "I can only say that our dear mother-in-law is incredibly perceptive, with an eye like a hawk."
Lin Yanwan was speechless. ’I’ve never met anyone so shameless!’
The elevator stopped on the first floor. Jiang Xia took her hand as they walked out, but Lin Yanwan struggled to pull away. "Let go! What if my mom sees?"
"How could she? It’s not like Mom is..."
He subconsciously glanced up, only to see Ji Wanqiu with her head poked out, staring right at them.
His voice died abruptly.
"Isn’t what?"
Jiang Xia swallowed. "I think it’s a little too late for that now."
Lin Yanwan’s breath caught in her throat. She slowly raised her head toward her balcony and saw a familiar figure disappear in a flash.
’There’s no one else home right now, and Lin Xiaoman isn’t tall enough... so the person spying from the balcony just now had to be my mom.’
She quickly snatched her hand back, her face turning crimson. "I told you to behave around my house! So many people know my parents, and you just know someone’s going to gossip. Great. Now what are we supposed to do?"
Jiang Xia just shrugged, looking completely unfazed.
"Is there a difference between her seeing it and her suspecting it? All this does is confirm her suspicions."
"Easy for you to say! You’re not the one who’s going to be awkward when you’re alone with my parents, are you?" Furious, Lin Yanwan pinched him hard again.
Jiang Xia’s expression didn’t change. "As the old saying goes, ’Heaven tempers those destined for greatness with hardship.’ Besides, as long as *you* don’t feel awkward, *they’re* the ones who will."
"You think everyone’s skin is as thick as a fortress wall, like yours?" Lin Yanwan scoffed.
"Comrade Lin Yanwan, I have to take you to task for that. In my past life, being thick-skinned was a rare quality, so much so that people gave it a glorious title."
"What?"
Jiang Xia let out a long breath, looked into her eyes, and said with mock profundity, "Social Badassery Syndrome."
"..."
A moment of plain, unadorned silence was enough to render Lin Yanwan completely speechless.
’Fine. She was the one with social anxiety; she’d never understand the minds of these social badasses.’
◇
Ji Wanqiu watched in secret as the couple slowly disappeared into the distance, still bickering playfully. Only then did she retract her gaze. She turned to her younger daughter, who was still drawing in the living room, and an idea suddenly formed.
"Xiao Man, tell Mommy, did your big brother and sister do anything... strange this afternoon?"
"Yep," Lin Xiaoman answered without looking up.
Hearing this, Ji Wanqiu’s heart skipped a beat. "Wh-what strange things?"
"Sister was playing the piano the whole time, but it was all messy and didn’t sound good at all," Lin Xiaoman pouted.
"Uh... that’s it?"
Ji Wanqiu let out a sigh of relief. ’For a second there, I thought I was about to become a grandmother.’
’It seems those two still know how to behave themselves.’
"Xiao Man, Mommy has a mission for you. From now on, whenever your big brother and sister are together, whatever they say, whatever they do, you must quietly remember it and tell Mommy, okay?"
"No," Lin Xiaoman huffed softly.
"Why not?"
"Because that’s tattling, and I hate people who tattle to the teacher," she said indignantly.
"But Mommy isn’t a teacher."
"It’s still tattling. I’m not going to betray Brother Jiang Xia and my sister." Xiao Man’s face was serious.
Ji Wanqiu was dumbfounded. ’Tattling is a bad habit, sure, but if Xiao Man keeps her mouth shut, my only source of intel will be gone.’
"Alright then, what would it take for you to tell me?"
"No way!"
Ji Wanqiu found herself both exasperated and amused. ’She’s so young, yet she acts like some worldly veteran who knows not to sell out her family and friends.’
"What if Mommy gives you something in exchange? Then it wouldn’t be tattling, it would be a transaction."
Lin Xiaoman blinked, thinking her mother’s words actually made some sense.
"Will Mommy buy me a pretty new dress?"
"But one is my Brother Jiang Xia, and the other is my very own sister... should I really tell on them...?" Xiao Man sighed, looking troubled. "Mommy, I don’t want a little dress."
The corner of Ji Wanqiu’s mouth twitched. ’This little rascal actually thinks the reward isn’t generous enough? Is she trying to up the price?’
’Oh, whatever. For the sake of not becoming a grandma anytime soon, I’ll play along for now.’
"Then what do you want, Xiao Man? As long as it’s something I can do."
"Umm, I want Brother Jiang Xia to teach me how to draw!"
"...Xiao Man, that’s up to Brother Jiang Xia. I can’t decide for him. Besides, like your sister, he has a heavy study load. He gets home very late every day and simply doesn’t have time to teach you," Ji Wanqiu explained patiently.
"Okay then... can I go play with Brother Jiang Xia when I’m on vacation?" she asked, her eyes filled with anticipation.
"Aren’t you afraid of running into Teacher Xia? He might decide to quiz you on your lessons, or give you a vocabulary test... and if you don’t pass..." Ji Wanqiu deliberately let her voice trail off, secretly watching her daughter’s reaction.
"I... I’m not going!" Lin Xiaoman gasped in terror.
Ji Wanqiu inexplicably wanted to laugh. ’To students, teachers will always be more terrifying creatures than parents.’
"How about this? Whenever I get the chance, I’ll invite Brother Jiang Xia over to our house to play, okay? Just like today."
"Okay!" This time, Lin Xiaoman’s answer was quick and decisive.
"So, can you tell Mommy... are there any secrets between your big brother and sister?"
"Nope. Oh, wait, I think there is."
Ji Wanqiu’s eyes lit up. ’It’s been a real battle of wits with my tight-lipped daughter, and I’ve finally gotten her to talk. That wasn’t easy!’
"What is it? Quick, tell me."
"Today, Brother Jiang Xia wanted to kiss me, but Sister wouldn’t let him. But that couldn’t stop clever little me!"
"And so?" Ji Wanqiu asked, looking confused.
"I kissed Brother Jiang Xia, of course! You’re so silly, Mom, you couldn’t even guess." Lin Xiaoman crossed her little arms over her chest, looking extremely smug.
Ji Wanqiu had never been so speechless in her life. ’From my younger daughter’s description, Yanwan must have been jealous. Or, to put it another way, this means they must have already tried kissing a long time ago.’
With things having reached this point, she was getting a real headache. ’Should I try to stop them, or should I just wait and see how things play out?’
’Her biggest fear was that the two of them would get caught up in the heat of the moment and make her a grandmother at their young age.’
...
(Author’s Note: My fever’s gone down, but it’s not completely gone. My immune system is still in a high-stakes match, which means the various symptoms have actually gotten more intense. I spend half my writing time coughing. In short, this time, it’s either me or COVID—one of us has to go.)
