Chapter 372: A lifetime!
Adrein.
Internally, I was losing my mind.
Every single word Maria spoke only pushed me closer to the edge.
It was as though each sentence she uttered carried the power to completely destroy the little self-control I still possessed.
My thoughts were in complete disarray, and my wolf was even worse.
Then, before I could gather myself, she grabbed the collar of my shirt once again and pulled me closer.
The sudden movement caught me completely off guard, as the distance between us disappeared almost instantly.
I could feel her warm breath brushing faintly against my skin and it was enough to make my entire body tense.
The closeness was intoxicating, dangerously so, and every instinct inside me screamed for me to pull her into my arms, to hold her tightly and to pin her beneath me and never let her go.
It took every ounce of restraint I possessed not to give in to those reckless urges.
Yet despite everything...despite how close she stood...despite how tempting the moment felt...the only thing she continued asking of me was something I could never give her.
No matter how much she wanted it, no matter how much she demanded it...I simply couldn’t.
My heartbeat pounded painfully inside my chest as I waite—I waited for her response, for her answer but deep down...I was already convinced I knew what she wanted.
She wanted me dead.
That had to be it.
After everything I had done...after all the pain I had caused...death was probably the only thing she believed could satisfy her.
The thought alone made my chest tighten painfully.
No.
I couldn’t bear to hear those words leave her mouth.
Before she had the chance to say anything, I gently pried her already loosened fingers away from the collar of my shirt.
My movements were slow, and careful, and then, without allowing myself another moment to think...I lowered myself onto my knees before her.
The cold floor pressed against my legs, but I barely noticed.
I couldn’t bring myself to meet her eyes...Instead, I lowered my gaze.
"I know..." I began quietly, as my voice felt unusually heavy. "I know you’d probably want me dead, Maria." I added, as the words scraped painfully out of my throat, while I swallowed hard before continuing. "But..." I drew a slow breath. "Forgive me." I added, as my voice almost broke. "Just give me the chance to love you..."
I paused briefly, my gaze still fixed to the ground.
"Even if it’s only for a little while..." I continued softly, as another painful breath escaped my lips as I struggled to steady my voice. "Before you decide to kill me."
The words hung heavily between us, and the room fell into complete silence, as neither of us spoke.
I remained on my knees, my gaze lowered, waiting for whatever answer she chose to give me.
The silence stretched on, making every passing second feel unbearably long.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Maria said, as her voice suddenly broke through my thoughts, pulling me back to reality.
I slowly lifted my eyes to look at her.
The shock that had been written so clearly across her face moments ago had completely disappeared.
In its place was something entirely different, confusion—pure, unmistakable confusion.
Her brows were tightly knitted together as she stared down at me, clearly unable to understand why I had said something so absurd.
"Why would I kill you?" she asked again.
There wasn’t anger in her tone, and it looked like there wasn’t even hatred.
She sounded genuinely bewildered, as though the very idea had never crossed her mind before.
For one brief, foolish moment, hope blossomed inside my heart. It came so suddenly that I couldn’t stop it.
I felt maybe...Just maybe...I had misunderstood everything.
Maybe she didn’t hate me as much as I believed she did.
Maybe there was still a chance for us.
Maybe....
"I want you alive." Maria said, as her voice became noticeably firmer.
Those four words echoed inside my mind, and my heart skipped a beat. The tiny spark of hope burning within me flared brighter.
But it lasted only a heartbeat, because just as quickly as it had appeared...It died.
"I want you to spend your entire lifetime atoning for every single one of your sins, Adrien." she added.
Every word landed with crushing weight, causing the hope inside me to shatter almost instantly. It disappeared before I could even hold onto it.
I could only stare at her in silence, the painful reality settling heavily inside my chest, as the words struck me harder than I expected, and I slowly swallowed hard, as my throat suddenly felt unbearably dry.
A lifetime?
A lifetime of atoning for my sins?
The words echoed endlessly inside my mind, as they refused to leave.
The more I thought about them, the heavier they became.
Wasn’t that the greatest punishment anyone could ever receive?
To spend every single day carrying the weight of my mistakes...never being forgiven, and never being free from the past.
Was that truly what she wanted for me?
Did she really hate me that much?
The thought made my chest ache.
Yet, another memory surfaced almost immediately.
If she truly hated me beyond redemption...then why had she stayed by my side when I was poisoned?
Why hadn’t she abandoned me then?
Why had she remained there when I had lost my wolf?
Those moments hadn’t been imagined, as they had been real—she had been there, right by my side as she looked after me with the utmost care in the world.
She never left me, and her presence got stuck into my senses.
So I am certain that there had to be something more, no matter how deeply she buried it...no matter how fiercely she tried to deny it...I refused to believe every trace of her feelings had disappeared.
Somewhere...deep inside her heart...there had to be love left for me—even if it was only a tiny fragment, and even if she herself no longer wanted to acknowledge it.
I was convinced it still existed.
She was simply blinded—blinded by Noah’s comforting words, by his promises and by everything he had given her that I had failed to.
"Maria..." I called softl, as my voice sounded quieter than before. "A lifetime is too long." I added, as a bitter smile formed on my lips.
I paused briefly before continuing.
"But..." I slowly lifted my eyes to hers. "I really wouldn’t mind..." I said slowly, as another faint smile appeared despite the sadness weighing on me. "If I got to spend that lifetime by your side, as your husband"
For the briefest second, silence filled the room, and it was suddenly broken when Maria scoffed.
The sound carried nothing but disbelief.
She folded both arms across her chest as she stared directly at me.
"Delusional." She said firmly, her voice cold and sharp. "You’re dreaming, Adrien." she added, as she didn’t hesitate even for a second. "That will never happen."
Her certainty cut deeper than any blade ever could.
Still...I couldn’t bring myself to give up.
"Just forgive me, Maria," I pleaded quietly.
A heavy breath escaped my lips and the exhaustion inside me was no longer something I could hide.
"I’m really tired..." I muttered, as I closed my eyes for a brief moment. "So tired of the bad blood between us." I continued.
But the expression on Maria’s face didn’t soften, not even a little.
"Well..." Maria sighed dramatically. "I’m tired of talking to you at this moment, Adrein." She added, as her tone suddenly shifted, as it left no room for misunderstanding. "Now get up." She commanded, as she held my gaze firmly. "And leave my sight."
For several long seconds, I simply looked at her.
The emotions reflected in her eyes were painfully clear—anger, disgust with nothing else, not a single trace of warmth remained.
Slowly...I lowered my head.
The weight of disappointment settled heavily over my shoulders.
With a quiet sigh, I pushed myself up from my knees until I was standing once again.
A single question lingered stubbornly inside my heart.
What exactly could I do...to make her look at me the way she once did?
I missed those days more than words could ever describe.
The days when she willingly rested in my arms, even after much defiance.
When I could hold her close.
When I could cuddle her to sleep without her pulling away.
Those memories felt impossibly distant now.
A painful smile crossed my lips.
I truly had been a jerk.
Hadn’t I?
There was no point remaining here any longer.
The more I stayed..the more I would only provoke her anger.
And that was the last thing I wanted.
So without another word, I quietly turned around and walked toward the door.
For now, the most important thing was getting her safely out of this place.
Comments