Harker swam into this dark expanse. He remembered his time back in the Appalachians, when they were traveling from cave to cave to hide from the Sasquatch or wendigos.
It had all been a lie, yes. But the aftermath of the memories never changed despite it. The memories when Blank and Ahanu were just normal people who he got along with and would even consider as friends.
It would be stupid to do so, but… Back then it felt that way. They were comrades, working together for the same purpose, helping each other and sharing a traumatic experience.
Back then, there was this cave that had a small pool of water inside. It was very deep within it, and it hadn't turned to ice yet because the cave somehow kept the warmth inside.
It was cold, yes, but everyone was just happy to finally have some good water to drink or wash their faces and hands, at the very least.
He and Blank raced towards it, with Joan and Ahanu laughing behind them.
"Be careful! You boys might slip!" Joan reminded them.
Ahanu shouted something which Harker now understood meant: "Don't drink up all the water, Big Brother! Leave some for me!"
Blank chuckled by his side, his face trickling with this cave's sparkling water. There was almost no light that could reach this part of the cave, but Harker can still his smile so clearly.
"This one's pretty nice, isn't it?" He asked.
Harker grinned. "Yeah. It's like the perfect size, perfect atmosphere…. Coziest little bear-house I'd seen so far."
"Hahaha! Bear-house. Well, it could be a bat-house too. And a bathhouse for us."
Harker chuckled. "Nice pun."
"Pun?"
"Play on words." Harker explained.
"Ah. Yes, I like those. Double entendre." Blank said thoughtfully. "I like how words can mean different things. Like how 'cave' meant this place, but also for something to give under pressure. Collapse. Give in."
"Cave in." Harker nodded.
Blank made an 'ah' sound. "Yes.... I have seen many caves that caved in over the years of traveling these mountains. Often I'd find some rocks where people carved their names. In our language, of course. It's to mark that they had been there, for them to remember that this once served their home in case they had to move away. It almost feels like leaving a piece of your soul in this place."
"Really?" Harker then looked around for a sharp rock, and found one. "Since this is a nice cave, we should mark it. We might go back when all this is over."
"Haha, my penmanship is not good." Blank told him.
"Then I'll be the one to carve our names, then."
And he did. He carved all of their four names on the walls of that cave, as if it were their own. Like some one big happy family.
Harker realized now that for that very short moment, even though he was deceived….
He did treat them as his own family.
His family in the lonesome winter mountains.
It seemed that those carved names were not only carved on those cave walls. It was also carved deep into his heart, and it bleeds fresh now as if it had just been carved yesterday.
But Harker tried his best to divert his focus into this 'cave' he was in.
It's a bit harder to do so inside someone's headspace, especially when he's trying to reach into the mind. The brain and the mind were truly different, though they were connected. The brain was made from flesh, and the mind wasn't. It's something ethereal.
Getting through that connection required some focus. He had some experience with looking into Mina's memories about the An Xin in that church of St. John the Evangelist, but….
She was willing.
Felix wasn't. He was invading the body of someone, and it's fighting back. Felix may not be doing it consciously since he was asleep, but the body was made to defend itself from foreign invaders.
The stronger one's immunity, the harder it was to invade them. But Harker pushed through, searching for that one memory that might bring the truth to light.
He ended up finding one that just made the pain of the past increase.
"F+Z? Seriously, Felix?"
The voice of a tween girl came. She must be 12 or something, and her voice was still quite high even for that age. But it was pleasant, and there was a warmth even in her sassy tone.
Zaina Tariq was sitting by the side of the tree, telescope in hand and chuckling.
Felix was holding a small pocket knife, and once he was done etching on the bark, he sat beside her.
"What? That's our initials, right?" Felix said. "I saw them do it in the movies all the time."
"Yeah, but those are for couples. We're not a couple. " Zaina told him.
Felix frowned. "Do we really have to be a couple to just carve our names here? I just want to mark our tree."
"Right. It's annoying when Tobias Klein and Gregori Stavinsky hang around and piss on it. It's the best spot to go skywatching, and I don't want it to smell like piss." Zaina scrunched up her nose.
Felix chuckled. "See? So we have to do it. Let's go mark the other spots just in case!"
He took Zaina's hand, and the two children laughed as they ran on the grassy fields. Harker recognized the places they went to, since they were just nearby parks and fields to their cul-de-sac. They even went as far to play around in Columbus Park, picking flowers on the way.
Suddenly, Felix spotted a pretty blond girl in pigtails at the seesaw. He went to pick a rose, and approached her.
Zaina frowned. "What are you doing?"
"Rosie gave me some leftover Girl Scouts cookies before. I just thought I should give her something back as a thank you."
He went, and Harker can see the deep scowl in Zaina's face.
Curious, he decided to seek more for memories involving Zaina Tariq. There were a lot of them, most being pretty mundane but happy memories as childhood friends.
They stayed close even as they grew up. But then….
They were going to different schools, and Harker caught a small glimpse of them being a bit distant with each other. Other than that, nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
It was just the usual mellowing of relationships once distance came to play. They encounter different people, and though they were neighbors, they were busy with their own individual things to hang out as they usually did when they were young.
He doesn't have much time, so he decided to go over to the night of the accident.
Felix and Dahlia were walking over to that street with half-gentrified buildings. The street lamps in the more desolate areas flickered, but it was a common enough occurrence there. What wasn't common was seeing a shooting star deep into the city, and Dahlia claimed she had seen one just now.
"I swear, it was there. It just passed by. Maybe it was a comet?"
Felix chuckled. "Even if it was, the city haze is too thick. We can barely see any stars here. It's probably just a trick of the lights."
As he said this, they passed over the Circus Cabaret.
He seemed to have been momentarily distracted by his own reflection. Not in any unnatural way, just a common reflex around mirrors. He looked…
And for a quick motion, a dark shadow appeared in front of him.
That's how it happened. Exactly like how he described. A heavy weight, and then he blacked out. He had no memories of it, so Harker had now succumbed into the darkness to seek more memories.
But then….
He thought of going back to that part where Felix looked at his own reflection. This time, he didn't focus on him or the shadows.
He focused on the other people reflected in the background.
And sure enough….
Hiding behind a wall was the familiar face of Zaina Tariq, who seemed to be stalking him and Dahlia Nieves. Thick lines were carved into her face as it contorted in what seemed to be anger and jealousy.
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