The flying eyeball soon appeared by Harker's side even without him calling out.
Yan watched his master for a while, who was silently watching the stars from the deck of the ship. He leaned with his hands dangling on the railing, and had a somber expression on his face. The eyeball didn't make his appearance known and took in this scene of his master.
But it seemed that he didn't have to, as Harker spoke:
"You didn't tell me about the Shapeshifting Ability itself. The changes in my stats after the Ability Ascension."
Yan became sheepish. "O-Oh…. I see. Apologies, master. I have forgotten."
"It's nothing." Harker said. "Just show me that holographic thing."
"Here's the system's update on your Shape Shifting Ability." The eyeball said, as the system's screen materialized in front of Harker:
[Harker's Shapeshifting Ability
Duration: B
Effectiveness: A
Resistance: C
Absorption Limit: B
Concealment: C
Potential: UR+ ]
Harker looked at the stats. "Not that bad. I've raised Duration and Absorption Limit by two tiers, and Effectiveness by 1 tier. That's worth hundreds of thousands of points or something. Good job, me."
He said this with no mirth at all, almost sarcastically.
Yan flapped his wings a few times without saying anything. Then, he finally spoke.
"Master… That's not the reason why you called me here, right?"
"These points, Yan…. These numbers. There is value in every single one of them, right?" Harker asked. "1 point has a value. Joining together increases its value. And the only difference between reaching 1,000,000 points and 99,999 is just 1 point, right? And 0 has no value, right?"
Yan nodded. "That's the rule of mathematics, yes. Though that's for absolute values, it's a different matter when it comes to integers—"
"I know that." Harker snorted. "Negative numbers and all. I know that. But bear with me for a moment. The only thing that's stopping 99,999 people to be considered 'a million people' is just 1 person. Just one. Therefore, the value of that one person, that missing one, had increased because they were the only one the group was lacking."
Yan nodded. "I see. It's the lost sheep dilemma, Master."
"The what?"
"Lost sheep. In that one parable. Jesus was questioned why he chose to dine with sinners by the religious leaders, and to this, he gave the parable of the lost sheep. He asked them that if a shepherd had 100 sheep, and 1 of them was missing, would he leave behind the other 99 to look for the 1 missing sheep?"
Harker rubbed his chin. "A story like that exists, huh? Of course he'd go looking for that lost sheep. That's how the flock becomes 'whole' again."
"Yes. That parable was often used to show that everyone mattered in the eyes of God." Yan told him.
"And does God exist?" Harker asked the eyeball. "And I don't mean the 'gods' and powerful beings and spirits. I know they must exist because monsters and demons exist. I meant this sort of omnipotent, omniscient being that monotheists worship above all else. The Almighty."
After all, the eyeball said he was all-knowing, so surely he should have an answer to this.
Yan took a while to answer, then said.
"He does, yes. The one who controls fate itself, the one who created it. But…. I'm not saying the religions were wrong. They were right about some things, but not 100%"
Harker tilted his head. "What do you mean by that?"
"What separates the shepherd from the flock?" Yan posed this question. "Was it because he takes care of the flock? That he is human, and they were animals?"
Harker shrugged. "You tell me. I'm not really in the right mindset right now to interpret stories or even philosophical questions like that. I just needed to release my confusion on someone else."
Yan looked like he would have smiled if he had lips. "I can't give the right answers, Master. Not because I don't know them, but because I just can't. I'm not allowed to. You are the one who decides, not me."
Harker rubbed his chin. "What separates the shepherd from the flock… What separates God from man? That's too much responsibility to put on someone like me, to answer a question like that. Especially when I myself don't know what separates man from monster."
He looked at the stars, and thought what it must be like to suddenly summon stars into existence as a god. To just wish them into existence…. to dream.
"But I think….. It's choice. Having the freedom to choose, to control your own sense of identity. That's what separates man from animals, plants, and everything else. Even monsters too, since they have the sentience to make decisions for themselves and a consciousness. So really, there's no difference between man, monster and god. They all have this power of choice."
Yan nodded. "Even the lost sheep could be called a shepherd. A shepherd of itself, following its own path. And while the shepherd was gone, the 99 obedient sheep served as a shepherd to themselves as well. Tending themselves to stay within this flock, setting their own borders."
Harker yawned. "All this talk about these sheep ironically makes me sleepy. Maybe I really am better off counting them than talking about which is a shepherd among them."
Yan sighed. "I hope I have been a worthwhile company to you, Master."
"You did. And I don't think this conversation is just pointless rhetoric. I learned more about you, Yan. On what kind of being you are." Harker said, turning back to the ship. "You're not just an obedient sheep, are you?"
Yan didn't answer, and simply de-materialized into the dark night. Harker thought that the stars tonight seemed to resemble his shape somehow. And since he thought so, it must be true.
I think, therefore I am.
Harker went back to bed, knowing that after waking up, he'd put all this behind him. As if this conversation was just a fleeting dream. If he stays too long pondering these things, that will lead to inaction. And he still had many things to do.
But it was nice to stay still once in a while. To be at peace with the chaos of this world, letting the currents wash over you.
The next day, they reached the end of the currents. The endless land made of ice, floating above unmoving waters.
The undercover team row their boats and settle down. It was composed of Harker, Mina, Joan, and Roland, and four more bodyguards to watch over the boats and the vantage point for the ship once they were ready to attack.
Harker turned to Roland, who seemed to be running on low sleep. His eyes were heavier than usual, and there were many times when he almost just fell asleep in front of his plate during breakfast.
"Hey, you good?" He asked while nudging him.
Roland weakly mumbled a response. "Yeah, just…. feeling a bit tired. I know I fell asleep pretty early, but my body feels heavy. Maybe it's the coldness."
Harker frowned. "You should have put on more blankets then."
Roland shrugged. "I don't know, it felt pretty warm last night. Cozy even, like my bed was giving me a warm hug. I had a nightmare for a while, or maybe it was straight up sleep paralysis, but I still think I should have slept pretty well."
"What nightmare was it?"
His blood run cold when Roland replied:
"A big black sheep was keeping me still, wrapping me in it's thick wool until I couldn't move. Pretty silly, right?"
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