A flash of memory came. A good man...
There was someone that he called a good man. Perfect, pure, untainted. Simply confused, momentarily irrational, victim of circumstances....
And when he believed that man was good, he always thought to himself 'He is ALSO good'. As if Harker believed himself to be a good one as well. He had only come to realize this certain hypocrisy, this sense of superiority he holds for himself.
He never outright said that he was good, but…..
Didn't he judge three women for unproven accusations such as cheating, being a gold-digger, and a stoner? Didn't he look with malicious glee as Lady Lovette slammed her head on the ground? Rejoiced in getting at least Mr. Xi's heart? Burned countless zombies with Mina as if it was a game?
And when he was a child...
Didn't he laugh that day? The day that Roland got into a fight with his bullies, where he bit them and drew blood and chaos everywhere? And when they got expelled for hitting him because he was a rich boy...
He thought they received their karma.
Justice. This morbid sense of justice had always existed within him. They deserve to suffer, he deserves to punish them.
But does that mean he can cast the first stone?
"There it is…. There it is!"
He was snapped out of his analysis of his own morality when he heard that laughter. Blank said those words as if he had finally found a buffet in the middle of this harsh winter where there's barely anything to eat. He latched onto it with sharp talons, salivating.
"Once one revelation comes, all the rest will follow. It's inevitable, like how a ball of snow rolling from the top of the mountains will get larger and larger as it accumulates. It's so fascinating to watch!" He clapped his hands. "It's so—"
Harker had managed to twist himself from the ropes once more, this time going on top of Blank and wrapping his fingers around his throat!
"So what? Do you think this makes you any superior either? Tormenting people by making them have a moral crisis?"
Blanked coughed, but still wore a smile. "I never said that but... If thinking that way would make you project your hatred for your true self to me, then I won't stop you."
Harker gritted his teeth, knowing very well that he would just put the nail on his coffin if he yelled 'I'm not projecting!'.
He tried to steady his breath, closing his eyes. This was not the way out. When people get cornered mentally, they don't get out of it by lashing out physically. He tried to regain his rationality back, not being ruled by his emotions….
But what if he had always been someone ruled by emotions, and just spent his life pretending to himself that he was not?
Acting as the calm and can't-be-bothered Harker Jones. When really, he was just as much of a crybaby as he was when he was young, a weakling and a coward?
What would he do then?
The answer was simple and silly, but hard to do.
And that thing was acceptance.
"I'm not….. a good person. I'm not a good person." He repeated again and again, slowly releasing his grip on the man's throat.
When he opened his eyes, Blank was looking at him in surprise. As if he never expected this response.
"I'm not…. But I don't see how I'm a bad one either. Just because I'm not one thing doesn't mean I'm already the opposite. And so are you…. And so are all of us. We're all fucked up in some ways, but not bad in some ways either."
He fully let go….
And embraced the one that taunts him. "I shouldn't hate you. Out of all people, I shouldn't hate you. When I am the one who knows about your suffering, and could understand it too."
Blank blinked, and his arms moved slowly to wrap around Harker's shoulders. And then….
He made the faintest whisper.
"Forgive me."
It was so faint that it was almost inaudible. But it was there. Harker tried to listen to it again.
"Forgive me. It wasn't me, I…. I did not want to hurt you—"
But there was suddenly a loud shout inside the cave.
It was the sound of Ahanu's voice, they realized. But halfways through the scream, he had seemed to choke and so the sound became something ragged and grating to the ears. It was like a monkey's shriek, and it kept going and going.
Joan's shouts followed after. Harker rushed to see what was going on, easily breaking free from the ropes. Blank was dragged halfway when the ropes hadn't snapped yet, and when they did, he landed face first into the cold snow.
Harker got into the cave within seconds, and saw what was happening.
Those black, slimy worm things he saw coming from the Sasquatch's mouth….
It appeared again, but this time it was coming out from Ahanu. It first came from his wide-open mouth, then it also came out of his nostrils, and eventually, even his eyes and ears.
The boy was stuck in place there, standing while all of these worms came out of his body. It was a terrifying sight.
Joan covered his mouth, cornered into a wall as she tried to avoid the black worms. Harker went there and stomped at them, and took her in his arms. He rushed to get out of there, not even looking back at the poor boy.
Once outside, Blank approached them with a bump on his head. He was holding it, as he seemed to have a concussion.
"What happened? What is happening to Ahanu?" He asked frantically.
Harker lowered Joan in the snow. "I'll go find out! You two stay put!"
He easily scaled the walls of the cave as a wendigo, and had the speed to avoid the black worms from going inside his orifices. He then reached the boy...
And saw his skin turning gray, and slowly deflating like a popped balloon. His skin sagged from the bones. The flesh must have been being eaten from the inside. His once plump cheeks have sunken and sunken until there was nothing left but air and the teeth within.
He died even before his body hit the ground. And the worms were gone. Just as quickly as they came into this dark and chaotic night.
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