Let me tell you the story of a fucking insane, bothersome woman.
Please don't misunderstand; I don't usually talk like that. I'm making this exception for her, and her only.
I sure would like to ask my sister why she even dated her in the first place. No matter how I tried to spin it, I just couldn't see them going well together.
That woman, she believed that the world was ending.
I've learned at one point that, in reality, she had been told by her physician that she had only ten days left to live. It put her under the impression that, since she would be gone in ten days, so would the world.
I liked studying ethics at school. From one of my classes, I've learned the concept in which an individual's world was created through their unique experiences, and destroyed through their death. I thought that such a mindset was far too childish, though.
No matter who dies, the world would not end. It's only natural.
My time with her happened to be during a worldwide outbreak of a novel disease; a state of emergency was declared throughout Japan at the time. In my neighborhood, all non-essential establishments were closed, and extremely few people went outside. I think that was one thing that further solidified her belief that the world would end.
Seeing how the local shopping arcade was shuttered down entirely, though, I had to agree that it felt like the end times, at least a little.
I alone stayed behind at home. My reasoning was that, even though school was canceled, supplementary classes were being held every weekday. The project originated from the students' parents' complaints that, while school was on break, many cram schools were still in operation, creating a gap between the students who went and those who didn't. Supplementary classes of a limited size were held to help with the studies of the latter group.
My sister and parents had planned beforehand to wait out the pandemic at our villa, and had left Tokyo before things got bad. That house was in a densely populated area, so I didn't think it would be that good of an idea. No matter what I said, though, I've failed to convince them of that.
I've also called my sister, to let her know that Yune had come looking for her.
"You don't have to put up with her; just call this hospital," my sister said, and then gave me the number of the hospital in question.
When I called them, a staff member told me that they would come to pick Yune up and admit her.
But if they did that, she would be stuck in the building for the remainder of her life.
"Onee-chan... are you sure you won't come see her?"
"What good will that do now? She's dying."
She might have had a point there.
Putting it that way, though, then I'm dying, too; at most within the next hundred years.
...Does that mean it's ultimately pointless for me to live on?
I liked studying earth sciences, too, so I know that the sun is constantly expanding. It would end the Solar System 7.6 billion years from now. Planet Earth would be destroyed. No matter how desperately we try to preserve civilization, it would still be all gone in the end. Flowers will one day wither, historical ruins will one day return to dust, and Willam Shakespeare will one day be completely forgotten.
I didn't know what I should think.
That was why I had started to observe that crazy woman. I had thought I might understand something if I stayed beside her as she was dying.
In the end, I've actually learned of a few things.
The angles of kissing. The good spots in my mouth. How brilliantly water glittered under the sunlight. The sweetness of cake. A perfectly normal sunset. How deep my fingers could reach. How it felt to have my hair caressed.
And so, after those ten days, Yune passed away.
Tomorrow I'll get up early, as I always have.
I'll go to school. Take my classes seriously, study diligently, get good marks, go to a good university; I'll become the best adult I can be.
The world may or may not end; it doesn't matter. It's not important to me. I'll only do what I can.
That mindset of mine has never changed.
I won't mess this up. Even if I do, though, I won't become an adult who takes an axe, heads to my ex-girlfriend's house, and tries to murder her. I'll become a wise, respectable adult, earn my keep, and live happily ever after.
I'm moving on with my life, steadily and surely. Though that woman is no longer with me, I didn't change one bit. I only returned to my usual days of normalcy.
There's still a long life ahead of me.
Besides, I actually prefer my women to be like my older sister.
That woman was far too carefree; she wasn't my cup of tea. Frankly speaking, I hated her.
I hated how badly arranged her teeth were. I hated how, each time we kissed, I had to watch out for her fanged upper canines.
I hated how she talked as if she was much older than me. I hated her music preferences. Trendy, fad-of-the-week songs were all she listened to. Bad taste couldn't be any worse than that.
I hated how good she was at kissing, too. She was a natural, so robust with experience; it was the worst. She displeased me, in the sense that she gave off the scent of past intimacy with someone else.
I hated how she sounded so sweet in bed. How she had the tendency to stroke my head so gently. She must have thought of me as a child. I was already seventeen, for crying out loud.
I also hated how her breasts were bigger than mine. I hated how soft and tender they were.
I hated her. I just hated her. Hated her guts. Hated her to death. I really, really hated women like her.
I burst into tears; they won't stop. The world doesn't end. Even though it is now without her. I'm alive.
Even in death, she's no less insane, no less bothersome.
I hated her so, so much; I lament the fact that I won't ever see her again.
Hearing trendy music play on the radio, resentment towards her welled up within me once more. I could find this kind of song anywhere; liking something like this... her artistic sense sure was awful.
Today, tomorrow, the days after, I'll live on.
If I say so myself, it sure was a good thing that I didn't have a switch which I could flick to instantly end the world.
Otherwise, it would have already ended earlier today.
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