Chapter 64 - Dont Make Decisions On Her Behalf
Dean left his private room and walked straight into April's room, he thought he had seen her at her worst when he had carried her into the hospital earlier. But he didn't imagine his heart would be thrown into chaos when he saw her lying on the hospital bed, her pale skin shone similar to the moonlight that streamed in through the window. He unconsciously held his breath every time the heart monitor seemed to beep, the sound was harsh and soothing to his ears. He slowly approached her bedside and with his fingers stroked her cheek. His brows furrowed, she was cool to the touch. He picked up a blanket and covered her properly. He sat down on the bed beside her and watched her as she slept.
After a while Casey came through the door and approached the bed, Dean continued to watch over April and didn't lift his head to see who it was, there was nothing more important than watching her sleep at that moment.
Casey set down the bag of food he had brought in knowing his friend wouldn't touch it, "You know she will be angry if you don't eat something. You both have been put through a lot today."
Dean didn't reply he was thinking of what was best for her. It left him helpless and confused.
Casey sighed, "I will tell her as soon as she wakes that you aren't taking care of yourself properly."
Dean gave off a dry laugh, "Yes she would be angry with me and usually I would enjoy the banter…"
Dean paused before continuing, "I have spent my entire life waiting and wanting I am just so fucking tired, it's the impatience, it's the impracticality, and it's the selfishness of everyone around me. But it's not their fault it is mine, and mine alone and I know that to be a fact. I have spent my entire life wanting what's out of reach and every time I get close I lose it all over again it's like being pulled with a band towards where I want to be only to get snapped and go off in the opposite direction. My uncle won't stop until he gets what he wants from me, but that will never happen. I don't want to drag her into this chaos."
Casey nodded, "If she likes you as much as I think she does she won't care what comes your way, you will be stronger together than you will be apart."
Dean continued to watch April sleep as he responded to his friend, "See that is precisely the problem I don't want her to have to join this fight I want her to have an easy life. I don't want her to end up in situations like this but here she is and it's all my fault. I have started out countless of times, walked around aimlessly only to find myself back to where I started and I did it again, and again and again. I don't think I am meant to have the happiness that you all have with your partners."
Casey responded quickly he didn't like to see his friend this despondent, "You can't just give up on someone because the situations not ideal. Great relationships aren't great because they have no problems. They are great because both people care enough about the other person to find a way to make it work. Life is about highs and lows and the person that cares enough for you will be by your side during both. Wouldn't you want her to ask you for help if she needed it? Well, it works both ways."
Dean knew his friend was right as always, he would want April to come to him but he felt it was wrong to involve her in his messy life, "She's young and beautiful she is independent and will go on living a happy life without me."
Casey laughed at his idiotic friend, "Yeah, she doesn't need you but she wants you that's the huge difference. People will need you for your money and what you can give them. All she wants is you, just you, you idiot, do you know how rare those types of people are in this world full of people who treat others as if they are disposable. Don't miss out on happiness due to one roadblock or you will kick yourself."
"But she will be better off," Dean was about to argue Casey's point but Casey interrupted his thought.
"So you are okay if she is loved by someone else then? You're happy to sit back and watch her with him? Then what… what if that guy treats her like she's an option not his number one? Are you okay with that, knowing you could be there for her and give her endless happiness but you messed it up because you overthought the situation. Give her a chance… I know you would miss her. Aprils the type to want nothing but your time and affection she's not like the other girls. Ask her before you make decisions on her behalf." Casey hoped that his friend would listen, he was always savvy with business decisions but when it came to his heart Dean often didn't know what to do with his emotions so he pushed people away.
"I would miss her, she feels like home and without her I would be endlessly homesick. She is a rare kind soul in this life, she doesn't care what car I drive, my job or where I live. I'm seriously impressed by her mindset, the heart she holds and the value she has in others, she never sees their faults first." Dean smiled as he described April.
"The worst thing you can do to her and yourself is show her your love and affection and she returns it and gives you her loyalty only for you to now abandon her. You could be great together you just have to give yourself and her the chance." Casey gave his heartfelt opinion hoping it would reach Dean.
Dean leaned forward and kissed April's forehead before he stood up and turned as he quickly walked out of the private room without replying to his friend.
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